How is your relationship with your mother?

For some of us, that relationship is warm and close. For others, it is complicated, painful or marked by something that was missing. And even when we love our mothers deeply, we may still find ourselves repeating emotional patterns we don’t fully understand.

In this episode, I’m joined by psychotherapist Vanessa Wallace to explore generational trauma and the experiences that can travel through the female line.

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Vanessa shares her own powerful story: her mother’s struggles with mental health, being sent to boarding school at nine, her years of addiction and the discovery of a painful family secret involving the grandmother she never knew.

Our conversation isn’t about blaming our mothers. It’s about becoming curious about the circumstances that shaped them – and recognising that they, too, were influenced by the women and families who came before them.

We talk about:

* What generational trauma and epigenetics mean

* Mother loss and childhood abandonment

* Why so many women carry “mother guilt”

* The emotional mirroring children need

* How wartime attitudes towards strength and emotion may still affect us

* Recognising inherited responses to stress

* Inner-child work and becoming our own loving parent

* Boundaries, people-pleasing and resentment

* Whether we can stop painful patterns passing to another generation

As Vanessa says, there is no dividing line between the “bad” generation and the “good” one. Healing is a gradual movement towards greater awareness, self-compassion and healthier ways of expressing what we feel and need.

This is a thoughtful and compassionate conversation about mothers, daughters and the stories that came before us.

Content note: This episode includes discussion of addiction, childhood abandonment, family trauma and mental ill health.

Find Vanessa

https://www.crystalclearcoaching.org/books-freebies/.

Website, courses and retreats: https://www.crystalclearcoaching.org

Healing the Mother Line: https://www.crystalclearcoaching.org/blog/healing-the-mother-line/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/crystalclearcoach/

Vanessa’s forthcoming book is The Mother Solution. Her website currently lists it for autumn 2026. Crystal Clear Coaching

Find Jo

Ageing Wonderfully Well: The Good News about Midlife and Growing Older:https://geni.us/AgeingWonderfullyWell