In this episode of What She Taught Me by Go Long, Jill Consor Beck talks to Shelby Tutty, a certified perimenopause coach and author of two Substacks — The Periprofessional and Women's Health 365. Shelby says the caution her mother carried from childhood trauma — a near-drowning, a serious car accident, a miscarriage — got imprinted onto her, and it shaped her into the kind of parent who can't just relax at the playground. She still remembers her mother throwing her arm out to protect the kids in the front seat every time she had to stop short, and now catches herself repeating her mother's own warnings to her own kids, like "if it's brown and round, step around." She's still questioning whether she took it too far: "I wonder, did I go too far? Did I really imprint upon them?"

Resources mentioned:

• Women's Health 365 (Substack) — https://womenshealth365.substack.com/

• The Periprofessional (Substack) — https://theperiprofessional.substack.com/

More about Shelby:

• Website — https://www.theperiprofessional.com/

• Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/theperiprofessional/

• Services — https://theperiprofessional.substack.com/p/paid-services

More about Jill & Go Long:

• Sign-up for Go Long's newsletter — https://golong.substack.com/subscribe

• Learn more about Go Long — https://www.golong.me/how-it-works

• Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/justgolong/

• Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/justgolong

• LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/company/go-long/

Jump to:

00:00 Introduction to the series and guest Shelby Tutty

02:42 When her mother said not to be afraid of men

04:41 Her mother's journey through independence and education in the 60s

08:04 Unseen burdens: trauma and resilience in her mother's life

11:12 Learning to ask for help: a personal transformation

14:36 Parenting imprints from her mother and if it went too far

16:30 Advice to her younger self and understanding her mother better after her passing

17:43 The devastation of losing everything of her mother's in a house fire