In this episode of What She Taught Me by Go Long — the series' first mother-daughter conversation — Jill Consor Beck talks to Jenna Shaps, a recent Indiana University advertising grad about to move to New York City, and her mom Shane Shaps, who owns a social media engagement agency in Louisville. Shane traces her own boundary-setting straight back to watching her mother push herself into exhaustion and depression when Shane was twelve: "it's okay to say no, it's okay to have boundaries." Jenna calls her mom a "girl boss" who can "get shit done" for the whole family and still make time for herself. Shane says her own mother never really yelled at her — and then admits the line she swore she'd never say to her own kids slipped out anyway: "Can you just act like an adult for one?"

More about Shane and Jenna:

• Jenna's LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenna-shaps-59b1a9234/

• Shane's LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/shane-shaps/

• Website — https://bigvoicesocial.com/

• Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/big.voice.social

• Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/bigvoicesocial/

More about Jill & Go Long:

• Sign-up for Go Long's newsletter — https://golong.substack.com/subscribe

• Learn more about Go Long — https://www.golong.me/how-it-works

• Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/justgolong/

• Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/justgolong

• LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/company/go-long/

Jump to:

00:00 Introduction to the series' first mother-daughter conversation: Jenna and Shane Shaps

01:32 Shane on her mother's perfectionism, burnout, and learning to set boundaries

03:48 Sacrifices Shane made for Jenna and what Jenna would do differently as a parent

06:02 Growing up in a small Jewish community in Louisville and choosing colleges for that

07:58 Did Shane's mother ever learn to ask for help after burning out

10:21 The trade-offs women make, and Jenna's move to New York as her own

12:22 Asking friends for help: three generations, three different patterns

14:29 The line Shane swore she'd never say to her kids — and said anyway

18:15 Closing thoughts and where to find Jenna and Shane