What happens when a life you imagined doesn’t happen? How do we grieve something that never quite existed? And what does it look like to completely reinvent yourself in your 50s?

In this episode of Shedding the Shame, Tami is joined by Sarah Savoy, a Vancouver-based end-of-life doula, for a deeply honest conversation about grief, uncertainty, reinvention, and what it means to live more intentionally.

Sarah opens up about a chapter of her life she rarely talks about: the adoption process she and her husband went through years ago, their decision to ultimately withdraw, and the ambiguous grief that followed. She shares what it was like to grieve a child she had imagined, hoped for, and prepared for, while simultaneously questioning whether she even had the right to grieve the loss.

We also talk about the ritual of grief, the “what ifs” that can follow us long after a decision has been made, and the ways our minds try to protect us by imagining every possible future catastrophe.

Then we dive into Sarah’s own reinvention. After owning her Vancouver retail store for 13 years, she made a major career pivot in her 50s and became an end-of-life doula. Her mother’s death, reaching the age her mother was when she died, and an unexpected introduction to the work all played a role in helping Sarah realize that this was where she wanted to use her empathy and compassion.

Despite what many people assume, Sarah doesn’t find working with death depressing. She finds it incredibly life-affirming. We talk about why conversations about death are ultimately conversations about what matters most, how to lead with curiosity instead of assuming we know what someone needs, the importance of advanced care planning, and why our relationships and chosen family may matter more than anything we accumulate.

Sarah also shares what she has learned about starting over, being a beginner again at 55, navigating ageism, building a business from scratch, and reminding herself that uncertainty and possibility can exist at the same time.

Perhaps most importantly, she has a message for anyone who thinks it’s too late to change their life: It’s not too late. Dive in.

This is a conversation about grief, mortality, purpose, self-compassion, and the courage to create a life that feels more like you.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Grieving a future that never happened
• Ambiguous grief and the losses we don’t always feel entitled to mourn
• Why rituals can help us mark transitions and integrate grief
• Sarah’s journey from retail business owner to death doula
• How losing her mother shaped her relationship with mortality
• Why talking about death can actually be life-affirming
• Leading with curiosity instead of trying to have all the answers
• Advanced care planning and navigating difficult family dynamics
• Starting over and becoming a beginner again in your 50s
• Ageism and society’s assumptions about women as they get older
• Living with uncertainty while staying open to possibility
• Self-compassion when doubt gets loud
• What working closely with death has taught Sarah about what really matters

This episode is a reminder that we don’t have to wait for certainty to begin again, and sometimes the most honest conversations about death can teach us how to live.

Sarah's website: https://www.agoodfarewell.ca/

Sarah's IG: https://www.instagram.com/agoodfarewell_vancouver/