You could name the thing that set it off. The pickup time, the tone of a text, who was supposed to handle what. So how did it turn into something so much bigger than either of you meant it to be?

In this episode of Divorce Discussions, host Angie Weber sits down with Adya Riss, MSW, a family mediator at Riss Mediation who spent years as a therapist before moving into mediation and who specializes in helping parents guide young children through divorce. Adya takes the conversation all the way back to the root of personal conflict, and his answer surprises most people. Conflict does not escalate because two people disagree. It escalates because someone does not feel heard.

Adya explains why you can win the argument and still walk away angry, how poor listening turns an ordinary sentence into a demand, and why couples in his office regularly spend an hour arguing for the exact same thing without realizing it. He also talks about what constant conflict does to children even when parents are certain they are hiding it, and he leaves listeners with one thing they can do in their very next hard conversation to bring the temperature down.

Whether you are mid-divorce, deep in co-parenting, or just tired of having the same fight on repeat, this conversation will change how you listen.

This is Episode 16 of the Divorce Discussions Podcast by the Divorce Support Collective, where we seek to reimagine the process of divorce through collaboration and support. New episodes drop every Wednesday.

Connect with Adya:
https://rissmediation.com
https://www.instagram.com/rissmediation/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/rissmediation/

Follow the show, leave a review, and visit thedivorcesupportcollective.com for resources and support.