Lauren texted me before the show and said she was showing up in a robe and eye gels. I said, “do itttttt.” I’ve been sprinting around all day; she’s coming off of 1000 Miles to Memphis, and when Mike Fanone popped into the comments to ask what the hell is going on here, I wrote something like: “we’re keeping it together!” I hadn’t showered. Lauren fell asleep in her contacts two nights running. This is what we actually look like while doomscrolling, and we’re done pretending otherwise (at least through the midterms).

Quick preview of what we got into in between a lot of laughs:

1. Perfectionism is a function of white supremacy. It’s also a function of authoritarianism and ain’t nobody got time for that. We barely had time to eat breakfast. Ok, we didn’t eat breakfast.

2. Lake Ontario being Lake America will not distract us from measles and deadly groceries. We are MapQuest girlies now.

3. There are soybeans rotting in fields right now and US farm debt just hit $625 billion. Farmers backing Trump? Big mistake. HUGE.

4. Dolly Parton is who Taylor Swift thinks she is. Yes, I know these are fighting words. Just watch the episode and get back to us.*

5. In Elaine, Arkansas, they took the polling place. Folks were already driving 30 minutes. Now it’s an hour each way. They want to make voting hard, so our response is “vote harder.”

*Not totally irrelevant…Singer Olivia Rodrigo put on a Lilith Fairesque festival that raised $10 million for women’s organizations. MacKenzie Scott matched it. Melinda Gates added $10 million more. Thirty million dollars, ten organizations. Apparently women are just gonna have to take care of ourselves because the men are too busy going to war and making deportation p*rn, WTF.

Check your registration at Vote.org. Vote early. Vote hard. Hydrate.

Watch the full episode for the rest, including how close we are to being AARP eligible and getting the Denny’s senior discount.

See you Monday.

Maya & Lauren