What happens when your neighbor shows up with two containers of cucumbers, your wife apparently knows why, and you’re the only person who missed the vegetable conversation?

Welcome to marriage in the suburbs.

This week, Andy and Greg dive into another collection of stories that probably shouldn’t fit together—but somehow do.

Greg encounters Marie at the front door bearing mysterious cucumbers and discovers there may be an entire layer of communication happening in his marriage that doesn’t involve him. Andy shares what may be one of the slowest customer-service responses in history after ParkWhiz finally answers his parking question five months after the Heart concert.

Then things escalate.

A Miami Uber ride turns into an argument over drinking beer—and ends with one passenger allegedly stabbing her friend with scissors. Naturally, this leads Andy and Greg into TSA stories involving oversized toothpaste, a forgotten Swiss Army knife, and the questionable logic behind what can and cannot make it through security.

Andy also takes us to Florida, where visiting his parents means breakfast, lunch and dinner with very little recovery time in between, hundreds of old VHS recordings are nearing the end of a decades-long viewing mission, and a simple lunch at a tiki hut spirals into bad lemonade, an avalanche of french fries and Andy’s mother informing everyone that his father does not need another Diet Coke.

Plus: RadioShack nostalgia, bike outfits, West Side Story, The Sound of Music, Titanic zombies and the lingering question of whether Greg is worthy of receiving cucumbers.

It’s another perfectly normal trip through suburban life with Andy and Greg.

Subscribe, share the show, and remember: laughter is contagious.

www.suburbspodcast.com

What happens when Greg has a dream involving his mom, a groundhog, a possum, a tornado, a destroyed house and a dead neighbor?

Naturally, he asks ChatGPT what it means.

In Episode 93 of Welcome to the Suburbs, Greg shares one of the strangest dreams he’s had—and the surprisingly thoughtful interpretation that followed. What starts with animals wandering through the bedroom turns into a conversation with Andy about grief, caregiving, childhood, writing Measured Breaths, and whether AI can actually help us better understand ourselves.

Then things get considerably less introspective.

The Welcome to the Suburbs Facebook page has attracted some new “professional podcast promoters” promising thousands of downloads, real subscribers, five-star reviews and Apple Podcasts chart rankings. Greg puts his digital-marketing background to work and starts asking questions.

That’s when Ella—and eventually Ling Con—begin to unravel.

References? Maybe.
Twenty thousand downloads? Absolutely.
A three-day free trial? Of course.
Finding the podcast link on the very Facebook page where the podcast link is posted? Apparently too difficult.

And then comes a greeting for the ages:

“Nine hope you’re well.”

Dream interpretation, artificial intelligence, podcast scams, digital marketing, childhood memories and Andy trying to keep up with all of it.

Just another week in the suburbs.

www.suburbspodcast.com

What happens when someone promotes themselves to Walmart management and gives themselves free groceries for five months? Andy and Greg begin this episode with a ridiculous news story that somehow feels completely believable.

Then the conversation heads back to St. Louis, where a simple dinner with a longtime friend turns into an unforgettable comedy of errors. A missing cutting board. A chef’s knife hidden beneath appliance manuals. A house without a bowl big enough for a cantaloupe. And a lesson in why some people should never be left in charge of the kitchen.

Along the way, the guys talk about:

• A fake Walmart executive who almost pulled off the perfect scam
• The strange psychology of clipboards and confidence
• Cardinals baseball, stadium entertainment, and T-shirt cannons
• Jimmy John’s vs. Wendy’s chili
• Imo’s Pizza and St. Louis-style pizza
• Aging, friendship, caregiving, and the unexpected humor hiding in ordinary moments

Listeners tell us Welcome to the Suburbs is as polished and funny as a good morning radio show. We’ll take it.

If you enjoy comedy podcasts, funny true stories, Midwest humor, suburban life, baseball road trips, and conversations that wander in the best possible way, this episode is for you.

Subscribe, leave a review, and share Welcome to the Suburbs with someone who could use a laugh.

www.suburbspodcast.com