In relationships, you may be right about what they did — and still be stuck in a pattern that keeps repeating.

They lied.

They shut down.

They disappeared.

They betrayed you.

And it still may not be the whole story.

In this episode of We Need To Talk, Dr. Darcy Sterling is joined by New York Times bestselling author Gary John Bishop for a conversation about blame, personal responsibility, repeated relationship patterns, and the difference between owning your part and taking the blame for someone else’s behavior.

Together, they get into:

• Why being right about the injury does not always move you forward

• How blame can become the thing your life is organized around

• Why personal responsibility is not self-blame

• How the stories you rehearse can shape how you move through the world

• What happens when relationships turn into scorekeeping

Your pain may be real.

Their behavior may be real.

And blame may still be deciding what happens next.

Listen to the full episode now.

REFERENCES/RESOURCES

Monmouth Plastic Surgery

⁠www.alternativescounseling.com⁠

Now What?: You, Your Life, and the Truth You’ve Been Avoiding

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen.

⁠DISCLAIMER⁠

⁠Instagram:@drdarcysterling ⁠

⁠Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling⁠

⁠Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling ⁠

X⁠:@DrDarcySterling ⁠

⁠YouTube:@DarcySterling ⁠

⁠Threads:@drdarcysterling⁠

⁠Watch this episode here on YouTube. ⁠

Healthy relationships can feel strangely unsettling when your body is used to love coming with tension.

You said you wanted calm.

Consistency.

Kindness.

Someone who doesn’t make you chase, prove, repair, or fight your way back to okay.

So why does it feel like something is missing?

In this episode of We Need To Talk, Dr. Darcy Sterling breaks down what can happen when healthier love starts to feel boring, suspicious, or emotionally flat — especially if your nervous system learned to associate love with uncertainty, intensity, withdrawal, or conflict.

You’ll hear about:

• Why calm can feel like distance

• Why kindness can make you look for the catch

• Why consistency can feel underwhelming

• Why not obsessing can make you question the relationship

• Why peace can feel like absence when tension used to be the baseline

Because before you decide the relationship is wrong, you may need to ask what your body learned to call love.

Listen to the full episode now.

REFERENCES/RESOURCES

⁠www.alternativescounseling.com⁠

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen.

⁠DISCLAIMER⁠

⁠Instagram:@drdarcysterling ⁠

⁠Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling⁠

⁠Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling ⁠

X⁠:@DrDarcySterling ⁠

⁠YouTube:@DarcySterling ⁠

⁠Threads:@drdarcysterling⁠

⁠Watch this episode here on YouTube. ⁠

If your relationships keep getting shaped by charm, mixed signals, or conversations that leave you second-guessing yourself, this episode is for you.

You like them.

You feel the chemistry.

And you still do not know

if you can trust them.

We’re bringing this conversation back for the holiday week because it is one of the clearest episodes we’ve done on trust, communication, and what people show you before you are ready to see it.

In this episode, Dr. Darcy Sterling is joined by former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss for a conversation about trust, dating, emotional safety, conflict styles, yellow flags, and how to read people more clearly before you get attached.

You may hear yourself in this episode if:

• You keep giving charming people the benefit of the doubt

• You miss yellow flags because the person seems emotionally available

• Hard conversations in your relationship turn into shutdown, bulldozing, or silence

• You want to get better at spotting character before chemistry takes over

Because the thing you ignore early

does not usually stay small.

Listen to How to Read People at Every Stage of a Relationship — From an FBI Hostage Negotiator and follow We Need To Talk with Dr. Darcy Sterling for more conversations on relationships, dating, trust, and emotional patterns.

REFERENCES/RESOURCES

www.alternativescounseling.com

Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It―Unlock Your Persuasion Potential in Professional and Personal Life

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen.

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling

X:@DrDarcySterling

YouTube:@DarcySterling

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube.