You know those relationship fights that keep coming up again and again? The ones that go in circles—never really getting resolved, just getting recycled?

My guest this week is Julie Mennano—licensed therapist, author of Secure Love, and host of The Secure Relationship Podcast. Julie has a rare gift for helping couples identify the deeper emotional patterns driving their relationship conflict. She doesn’t just teach attachment theory—she translates it into practical tools you can actually use to change how you show up in love.

Together, we explore why some arguments seem to have no end, why traditional communication strategies fall short, and how so much of your relationship conflict is tied to your nervous system and attachment style—not the surface-level issues like chores, tone, or timing.

Whether you're in a romantic relationship, married, or navigating long-term partnership dynamics, this episode will help you understand the real reason your communication breaks down—and what to do about it.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why some relationship conflicts never feel resolved—and why it’s not about the dishwasher.
• How your attachment style and nervous system responses are shaping your conflict cycle.
• Practical tools for moving from conflict and disconnection to repair and reconnection.

If you’ve ever walked away from an argument thinking, “We’ve had this fight a hundred times,” this conversation will show you what’s really going on—and how to finally create meaningful change in your relationship.

Xxoo,

Darcy

REFERENCES/RESOURCES

www.alternativescounseling.com

Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen.

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling

X:@DrDarcySterling

YouTube:@DarcySterling

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you've ever found yourself walking on eggshells in relationships, struggling to set boundaries, or feeling like your emotional needs are too much, this episode is for you.

I sat down with clinical psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Lindsay Gibson—whose groundbreaking work has helped millions of adult children of emotionally immature parents understand the long-term effects of childhood emotional neglect. We’re talking about the kinds of parents who were emotionally unavailable, unpredictable, or unable to meet your needs—and what that means for your adult relationships today.

This conversation isn’t about blaming or bashing. It’s about clarity. It’s about reclaiming your story. And it’s about learning how to break the cycle of emotional immaturity so you don’t keep reenacting the same painful patterns with partners, friends, or even your own children.

Whether you’ve gone no-contact, low-contact, or you’re still trying to make it work with a difficult parent, this episode will give you insight—and practical tools—to help you move forward.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The relational habits and coping strategies that adult children of emotionally immature parents often carry into their closest relationships.
• Why people who didn’t receive emotional intimacy in childhood often struggle to recognize their own needs—and stay too long in one-sided relationships.
• How to coexist with this kind of parent—without cutting them off.

If this resonates with you, make sure you follow the show—and please share it with someone who might need to hear it.

If you listen to 1 podcast this month, THIS IS IT.

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES/RESOURCES

www.alternativescounselng.com

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen.

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling

X:@DrDarcySterling

YouTube:@DarcySterling

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Holiday weeks always make me feel nostalgic, and that feeling tends to make me reflect on people who used to be in my life but no longer are… That’s why, this week, we’re re-releasing our most popular episode of all time—on family estrangement.

Clearly, this topic resonates. So many of us live in the tension between missing someone we’ve cut off, and fearing that reconciliation would just reopen the same wounds that caused the break in the first place. If that’s you, I hope this episode gives you some clarity—and a little bit of peace.

The threads that bind us to our families have begun to feel optional in recent years.

And in our culture of social media — where anyone with a phone can proclaim themselves to be an expert on subjects that they have no training or qualifications in — influencers are everywhere, some of them encouraging followers to end what they deem to be toxic relationships, or to break unhealthy cycles, or to rethink the obligation of being in our closest relationships.

I am a fan of healthy relationships. And when they become exploitive, manipulative or harmful, I am OK with someone making the decision to exit the relationship — even when it’s with a family member.

I am truly torn when it comes to family estrangement. I know first hand the wounds that come from being in a painful relationship. I understand why someone would make the decision to step away. And as a therapist and a human being, I’ve seen the cost people pay when they lose their tribe.

Joining me in this discussion is Dr. Joshua Coleman, author of the book Rules of Estrangement. Dr. Coleman is a psychologist in private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area, and he has carved out a specialty in family estrangement.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• The #1 cause of family estrangement.
• How well-meaning friends and family tend to exacerbate estrangement.
• The biggest mistakes people make when they’re trying to reconcile.

AND… Dr. Coleman gives us his greatest tool for those who want to bridge the gap between themself and a loved one they’re cut off from.

REFERENCES

www.alterntivescounseling.com

Is Cutting Off Your Family Good Therapy?

Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties & How to Heal the Conflict

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani.

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling

X:@DrDarcySterling

YouTube:@DarcySterling

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.