Are you avoiding difficult conversations at work or at home and finding you pay the price for it down the line? Scarlett McCabe is the co-founder and CEO of Debate Mate Training, an organisation that has spent 15 years teaching young people and leaders how to think critically, communicate clearly, and disagree productively.

In this conversation, Scarlett makes the case that our collective ability to disagree well has collapsed, and that the cost shows up everywhere, from quiet quitting and disengagement to toxic conflict and poor decision-making. She traces her own We Don't Have to Live Like This moment to an early investor meeting where she lost her cool, matched the energy of a combative room, and left feeling like she had given away the win. That moment became the foundation of everything she now teaches.

We explore why listening to understand rather than to respond is the single most powerful thing you can do before any difficult conversation, how to find common ground even when you fundamentally disagree, and why disagreement over a misunderstanding is, as Scarlett puts it, almost unforgivable, because it is entirely solvable.

You will leave this conversation with a two-step framework for any high-stakes conversation, a reframe on conflict as a route to connection rather than a threat to it, and a simple pause practice that works whether you are in a boardroom or a kitchen.

Find out more about Debate Mate Training at: https://www.debatematetrain.com

You can connect with Sarah on:

• her website: www.thorpe-scott.com

• LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/sarahthorpescott

• Instagram: www.instagram.com/thorpe__scott

• by subscribing to Sarah's ⁠Field Notes newsletter⁠: https://sarahthorpescott.myflodesk.com/podcast-join

If you’d like to revisit this conversation, you can check out the transcript: ​​https://thorpe-scott.com/scarlett-mccabe-transcript​​

Production support from ⁠Rethink Audio⁠ & Alice Giuditta.

Are you pushing yourself to stay on top of everything—yet feeling as though the ‘aliveness’ has been quietly optimised out of your life?

In this episode, we welcome Oliver Burkeman, bestselling author of Four Thousand Weeks and Meditations for Mortals and former Guardian columnist on productivity and living well. Oliver reflects on his decade-long journey from cynicism to sincerity, sharing how his search for the perfect system ultimately revealed a deeper truth: the effort to conquer our limits is fundamentally at odds with reality.

We explore the pervasive urge to “clench”—a physical and psychological bracing against life—and how this habit pulls us away from the truth of our finite time. Oliver argues that embracing our limitations is not a failure, but a powerful gateway to greater freedom. Challenging the modern obsession with mastering time, he offers a more humane perspective on living well.

This conversation invites you to rethink what truly matters, loosen your grip on constant optimisation, and rediscover a more intuitive approach to time—one that restores your capacity to feel fully alive, present, and human.

You can connect with Sarah on:

• her website: www.thorpe-scott.com
• LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/sarahthorpescott
• Instagram: www.instagram.com/thorpe__scott
• by subscribing to Sarah's ⁠Field Notes newsletter⁠: https://sarahthorpescott.myflodesk.com/podcast-join

If you’d like to revisit this conversation, you can check out the transcript: https://thorpe-scott.com/oliver-burkeman-transcript

Production support from ⁠Rethink Audio⁠ & Alice Giuditta.

Do you feel like you slip back into childhood dynamics the moment you visit your parents? Kan Yan is the founder of Parents Reimagined, a platform helping people transform adult parent-child relationships, something even high-performing adults struggle with.

To help us make sense of these dynamics, Kan shares his personal journey of healing a difficult relationship with his father and offers a roadmap for shifting from a hierarchical "Parent-Child" dynamic to a balanced "Adult-Adult" connection.

Kan brings a huge breadth of knowledge to the show, leaving you with the building blocks to create deeper connections with your parents and, in turn, your own children.

You can connect with Sarah on:

• her website: ⁠www.thorpe-scott.com⁠
• LinkedIn: ⁠www.linkedin.com/in/sarahthorpescott⁠
• Instagram: ⁠www.instagram.com/thorpe__scott⁠
• by subscribing to Sarah's ⁠Field Notes newsletter⁠: ⁠https://sarahthorpescott.myflodesk.com/podcast-join

Find out about Sarah’s Nervous System Summit ⁠here⁠: www.thorpe-scott.com/nervoussystem.

If you’d like to revisit this conversation, you can check out the transcript: https://thorpe-scott.com/kan-yan-transcript

Production support from ⁠Rethink Audio⁠ & Alice Giuditta.

Do you ever wonder why you handle money, conflict, or stress exactly like your parents, even when you swore you wouldn't? Dr. Christina Brezing is a psychiatrist and researcher at Columbia University who has spent her career studying what drives behavior and how patterns get passed on.

In this episode, we explore the invisible forces shaping our families, from genetic predispositions (epigenetics) to the stories we tell and the secrets we keep.

We dive into the critical difference between explicit communication (what we say we value) and implicit communication (what our children actually absorb). Dr. Brezing explains why admitting "I don't know" is often a stronger leadership move than faking certainty, and reframes conflict not as a failure, but as a necessary engine for true connection.

You will leave this conversation with a liberating perspective on "repair", it’s not about erasing the damage, but patching the jeans so you can keep moving forward. Dr. Brezing reminds us that you can't change a pattern you don't acknowledge, but simply saying, "I don't like how we handle this," is the first step toward freedom.

You can connect with Sarah on:

• her website: www.thorpe-scott.com
• LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/sarahthorpescott
• Instagram: www.instagram.com/thorpe__scott
• by subscribing to Sarah's ⁠Field Notes newsletter⁠: https://sarahthorpescott.myflodesk.com/podcast-join

Find out about Sarah’s Nervous System Summit ⁠here⁠: www.thorpe-scott.com/nervoussystem.

If you’d like to revisit this conversation, you can check out the transcript: https://thorpe-scott.com/christina-brezing-transcript

Production support from ⁠Rethink Audio⁠ & Alice Giuditta.

Have you ever pushed yourself harder, done all the "right" things, and still felt worse? Sarah Ann Macklin is a model turned nutritionist, author of Healthy Shouldn't Be This Hard (Penguin Random House), and host of the acclaimed Live Well Be Well podcast, one of the UK's top health shows dedicated to demystifying wellbeing with compassion and evidence-backed insight.

In this episode, Sarah Ann shares her personal story of being hospitalised at 23 despite following every health protocol she had been given, and how that experience sent her down a completely different path, one that led her to a radical rethinking of what health actually means.

We explore why self-compassion is not a soft, feel-good concept but a science-backed performance and leadership tool, and how the relentless self-criticism most of us carry is quietly driving inflammation, poor metabolic function, and burnout. Sarah Ann also unpacks the fascinating research of Dr. Ellen Langer, whose hotel maid study showed that simply changing your perception of what you are doing can change your physiology.

For leaders, this conversation asks a question most never think to ask: not what do I need to do to get results, but how do I need to be? Sarah Ann introduces her three-stage model of self-compassion and explains why understanding whether you are a thinker or a feeler is the key to knowing which tools will actually work for you.

You will leave this conversation with a fresh lens on health, performance, and what it really means to be on your own side.

You can connect with Sarah Thorpe Scott on:

• her website: ⁠https://www.thorpe-scott.com/

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarah-thorpe-scott-93a78a12

• Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/thorpe__scott/

• by subscribing to Sarah's ⁠Field Notes newsletter⁠: https://sarahthorpescott.myflodesk.com/podcast-join

  
  

Find out more about Sarah and Matthew's Nervous System Summit ⁠here⁠: ⁠https://www.thorpe-scott.com/nervoussystem⁠.

You can hear more from Sarah Ann Macklin:

• on her⁠ website: https://www.sarahannmacklin.com/
• on⁠ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahannmacklin/⁠

You can find her book Healthy Shouldn't Be This Hard wherever books are sold.

If you’d like to revisit this conversation, you can check out the transcript: https://www.thorpe-scott.com/sarah-ann-macklin-transcript

Production support from ⁠Rethink Audio⁠ & Alice Giuditta.

Do you find yourself going full speed ahead all week, only to crash the moment Friday evening hits? Matthew Cooke is a nervous system expert who coaches senior leaders to find sustainable success by working with their physiology. Matthew is also the founder of Body-Based Breakthrough, a leading somatic coaching program designed to teach nervous system literacy.

In this episode, Matthew shares his personal story of hitting burnout at 24, dives into how this age of "Computer Consciousness" is driving the mistaken belief that humans can run like machines, and shares how this damages our wellbeing and our performance – showing that we cannot override our biology without consequence.

We explore why so many high-performers live in a state of "Functional Freeze," going through the motions of leadership while totally disconnected from their physical selves, and how the science of the "Window of Tolerance" can bring your nervous system back to a responsive state.

Matthew argues that the future of work depends on "nervous system literacy," teaching us how to balance "directed attention" with necessary states of rest and creativity.

You will leave this conversation with a practical understanding of how to read your body’s signals. Matthew also shares a simple, 10-second "Orientation" tool to help you reset immediately, which, trust us, really works!

Find out more about Sarah and Matthew's Nervous System Summit ⁠here⁠: https://www.thorpe-scott.com/nervoussystem.

You can connect with Sarah on:

• her website: ⁠https://www.thorpe-scott.com/

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarah-thorpe-scott-93a78a12

• Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/thorpe__scott/

• by subscribing to Sarah's ⁠Field Notes newsletter: https://sarahthorpescott.myflodesk.com/podcast-join

If you’d like to revisit this conversation, you can check out the transcript: https://www.thorpe-scott.com/matthew-cooke-transcript

Production support from ⁠Rethink Audio⁠ & Alice Giuditta.

If you’ve ever looked around and thought, “there’s GOT to be a better way of doing this,” you’re not alone.

We Don’t Have to Live Like This invites you into conversations that challenge the status quo of how we work, lead and live, offering alternative perspectives on creating more fulfilling lives and a more functional society.

Sarah Thorpe Scott Sarah is an Executive coach, Founder of Thorpe Scott Coaching & Advisory. Previously Managing Director, EMEA of The New York Times, she now works with corporate leaders, investors, and multigenerational family enterprises to tackle complex challenges, prepare the next generation of leadership, and drive meaningful impact.

Sarah is joined by global leaders in their fields, to explore the systems – corporate, societal, and personal – that often fail us, and reimagine how they could better serve us.

If you’re looking for honest, human conversations to improve how you work, lead and live, and build a better world for generations to come – then you’re in the right place.