Vertrauen ist gut, Kontrolle ist besser? Trust is good, Control is better?
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There is a German saying that I grew up hearing: “Vertrauen ist gut, Kontrolle ist besser.” Trust is good. Control is better. And whether or not we actually believe that, I think a lot of us parents can relate to it.
While our kids are still in high school, there is a natural frame around their lives. School, sports, activities mean we usually have a pretty good idea where they are, what their days look like, and when they’ll be home — and their schedule still shapes ours too.
Then they graduate, leave for college, start working or move into their own place, and that frame disappears. Their lives no longer include us in all the everyday details. And that means we have to rely much more on trust — in them, in what we have taught them, and in their ability to figure things out for themselves.