After months of silence and emotional stalemate, my father finally writes a letter that sounds less like a plan and more like a performance. In this episode, we examine how “being selfish” becomes a weapon in the hands of someone who uses emotional collapse as control — shifting from aggression to pathetic fragility in a way that would make Gollum himself proud.

But this episode isn’t only about manipulation. It’s also about clarity. When my teenage brother — the most neutral, easygoing person in our family — finally steps in with a letter of his own, he becomes the truth-teller. His words cut through the chaos like a lifeline, urging our mother to choose herself after a year of living in a home that felt like a Monty Python sketch gone dark: denial, exaggeration, theatrics, and endless circular arguments..

⚠️ Content Note:
This episode discusses sensitive themes, including suicide, abuse, and coercive control, and may not be suitable for all listeners. If you or someone you know is struggling, call or text 988 in the U.S. for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

🎵 Music Credit:
Moonlight Sonata by Paul Pitman

In this episode of Vassalage: Truth, Lies, and Power, I continue reading my mother’s letters — one to my father, and one to my sister and me — as she reflects on the choices that shaped her marriage and the lessons she wanted us to learn from it. Through her words, I see how painful examples become powerful teachers, and how role models don’t just show us daughters what to do — they show us what to survive. I also explore the concept of triangulation, a manipulation tactic at the heart of so many family dynamics, and compare it to what unfolds in the film The Talented Mr. Ripley — where charm, deception, and emotional control become a means of power. In working on this episode, I realize that my father’s manipulation didn’t begin years into their marriage — it started right at the beginning.

⚠️ Content Note:
This episode discusses sensitive themes, including suicide, manipulation, emotional abuse, and family conflict, and may not be suitable for all listeners. If you or someone you know is struggling, call or text 988 in the U.S. for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

🎵 Music Credit:
Moonlight Sonata by Paul Pitman (used with permission under Creative Commons license).

For thirty years, my father controlled every version of the story — what was said, what wasn't, and what was changed to suit the story he wanted to tell.
But in this episode, something shifts. My mother finally demands that everything be put in writing. It is the first moment she begins taking back her power — by keeping a record he can no longer rewrite at will.

In this episode, I read an excerpt from the letter that changed everything — and marked the beginning of the brief silence that leads up to an explosion none of us saw coming. I explore how one simple demand — put it in writing — set the stage for what would eventually expose him, in his own words.

I also look at how written proof exposed the truth in several highly publicized cases — from Erin Brockovich and Taylor Swift to Monica Lewinsky, Theranos, and Britney Spears.

Because in the end, stories can be spun. Memories can be doubted. But writing… writing is evidence. And evidence changes everything.

⚠️ Content Note:
This episode discusses sensitive themes, including suicide, abuse, and coercive control, and may not be suitable for all listeners. If you or someone you know is struggling, call or text 988 in the U.S. for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

🎵 Music Credit:
Moonlight Sonata by Paul Pitman