What happens when something you really want slowly starts to feel like something you have to do? The pressure adds up.

In this episode, I’m taking you inside my mind in real time. I was stuck - on the podcast, my space, even volleyball - and instead of looking for another answer, I decided to get curious about what was actually happening underneath it all.

With a little help from Chatty (yes, ChatGPT), I started pulling at the thread. What I thought was procrastination or perfectionism led somewhere I didn’t expect: control, responsibility, obligation - and a realization about desire that stopped me in my tracks.

What happens when something you really want slowly starts to feel like something you have to do? The pressure adds up.

In this episode, I’m taking you inside my mind in real time. I was stuck - on the podcast, my space, even volleyball - and instead of looking for another answer, I decided to get curious about what was actually happening underneath it all.

With a little help from Chatty (yes, ChatGPT), I started pulling at the thread. What I thought was procrastination or perfectionism led somewhere I didn’t expect: control, responsibility, obligation - and a realization about desire that stopped me in my tracks.

Someone described my first episode as “raw,” and my brain immediately decided what that meant. Then volleyball got me thinking about showing up, being wanted, how we expect other people to show up for us - and the scoreboards we quietly keep for ourselves.

How much of what we experience is what actually happened, and how much is the story we’ve attached to it?

In this episode, I’m talking about the rules we carry, the lens we see through, being a little gentler with ourselves, and what might happen when we get curious enough to question what we think we already know.

Who made the rules, anyway?