When asked about the impact on a relationship when an intoxicated partner begs for or demands sex, and the coercion works because the drinker’s partner is trying to keep the peace, Amanda Dames tells Sheri and Matt that the dynamic damages trust. And the partner who agrees to unwanted sex is using her body to find or maintain safety. Amanda Dames is a sexologist, a somatic certified sex and relationship coach, and the host of the Kink Consultant podcast. This is a wide-ranging conversation about everything from sexual exploration to relationship recovery after trauma. Click here to link to the free guide Amanda mentions, and for all the resources on her website. Enjoy these insights from people comfortable crying in public.

Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey and learn more about our Echoes of Recovery and SHOUT Sobriety programs. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

Sheri and Matt have covered the ways emotional safety improves relationship dynamic for the person on the receiving end: nervous system regulation, peace and relaxation, and comfort being authentic and vulnerable. In this episode, they consider the benefits for the person providing the emotional safety. Don’t do it just for her. Do it for yourself, too.

Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey and learn more about our Echoes of Recovery and SHOUT Sobriety programs. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

This is the latest essay from our Untoxicated Blog. To read our hundreds of essays on drinking, emotional safety, and the underlying issues of addiction, please go to SoberAndUnashamed.com. We hope you get a lot out of: “Requisite”

That’s a picture of my bride from the summer we got married. Isn’t she cute? It’s a digital capture of a real photo taken with a camera that doesn’t make or receive phone calls. The picture is printed on glossy paper, and you can see the date stamp on Sheri’s tanned arm.

Now, I know you don’t know her as well as I do, but this picture is striking to me because of the genuine, authentic joy on Sheri’s face. Based on her eyebrows, cheeks, and nose, and even through her sunglasses, I can see the trust in her eyes. Not only is she enjoying a sunny day on Lake Winnipesaukee, but she’s enjoying the people she’s with, including me, with a fully relaxed nervous system.

Contrast that face with the one she’s making…

If you are ready to consider the impact of alcohol and a lack of emotional safety, on you and your family, as the drinker or the partner of a drinker, please take our brief survey at UntoxicatedSurvey.org so we can share resources, including a free ebook.