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Former Chief People Officer Oksana Lukash used to lock her knees in fear before speaking in public. Now she's a TEDx speaker who built her career on one habit: asking the question she was scared to ask.

In this Untamed Leader conversation, Lauri and Oksana trace what happens when curiosity becomes a leadership practice: from a stranger at a summer social, to a keynote in the Caribbean, to the TEDx stage where the story finally left her head and moved into her body.

They talk about why “that’s how we’ve always done it” might be the most dangerous phrase in leadership, what changes when you stop performing for validation, and why the people who love you without needing your dream to make sense are the ones worth keeping close.

Tune in if you’ve ever swallowed a question, a compliment, or a “crazy idea” because it didn’t seem practical.

1. Curiosity is a leadership skill, not a personality quirk. Asking the uncomfortable question, even risking a no, beats walking away wondering “what if.”

2. Fear and calling can live in the same body: Oksana's knees locked before her TEDx talk, and she still walked on stage and delivered it from muscle memory and heart.

3. “That’s how we’ve always done it” is the sound of a system resisting its own growth.

4. When the focus shifts from performing perfectly to reaching the one person who needs the message, the fear loses its grip.

5. Pay attention to who pulls back when you start to grow, and who stays.

6. Small out-loud moments, like a compliment to a stranger or a real answer to “what can I do for you?” can be the doorway to the biggest opportunities.

The Speaker Alter Ego Quiz

Take the Speaker Alter Ego quiz to find out which protective mask hides your natural radiance so you can learn how to get present, connect deeply, and share your vision when it matters most!

https://voice-matters.com/speaker-alter-ego-quiz/

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Thank you so much for listening!

Take the free Speaker Alter Ego Quiz to find out which protective mask is hiding your wild, untamed radiance.
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Master certified coach Linda Bucher used to wear a crown in a jail cell she built herself, performing “poor Linda” so convincingly that even she almost believed it. In this episode of the Untamed Leader Podcast, Linda walks Lauri through the belief continuum that carried her from a locked hallway of impossible to an untamed life she calls easy, abundant, and fully her own.

Along the way: the moment mid-training as a master coach when freezing in front of an audience became her clearest lesson in untamed leadership, why envy is often longing wearing a disguise, and why you can't be an imposter while you're being yourself.

If you've ever performed a version of yourself just to keep the peace, this conversation hands you a way out.

🔗 Find Linda: lindabucher.com

1. Untamed doesn't mean rabid. It means one of a kind. It's what's left when you stop performing for safety.
2. Self-abandonment can look like personality for years, until life or your body forces a different choice.
3. There's a difference between believing something is possible and believing it's possible for you, and the gap between them is where most of us get stuck.
4. Envy points at what you’re longing for and being called toward, not a blueprint to copy.
5. Imposter syndrome shows up when you're borrowing someone else's script. You can't be an imposter while you're being yourself.
6. Sometimes Untamed Leadership is as simple as noticing when you're not present, and having the courage to pause.
7. Give attention, don’t get attention: the difference between performing leadership and actually serving the room.
8. Freedom looks like being able to say no to a good opportunity that simply isn't yours to say yes to.

The Speaker Alter Ego Quiz

Take the Speaker Alter Ego quiz to find out which protective mask hides your natural radiance so you can learn how to get present, connect deeply, and share your vision when it matters most!

https://voice-matters.com/speaker-alter-ego-quiz/

If you love this show and you’re looking for some new shows to fill your queue, head over to feministpodcasterscollective.com to explore everything FPC has to offer.

Support the show

Thank you so much for listening!

Take the free Speaker Alter Ego Quiz to find out which protective mask is hiding your wild, untamed radiance.
https://voice-matters.com/speaker-alter-ego-quiz/

Follow me on:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/voice_matters_llc/

Linkedin https://www.linkedin.com/in/lauri-smith-voice-matters/

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@voicematters9646

Send Lauri a message

What if untaming your presence isn't about becoming someone new, but remembering who you already are?

In this off-season episode, Lauri Smith joins Linda Bucher on Conversations Worth Your While to explore what it costs mission-driven leaders to keep performing the version of themselves that feels safe, and what opens up when they stop. They cover the difference between fitting in and belonging, why your issues are in your tissues, and how to set an intention that puts your soul self in charge instead of your inner critic.

Linda also shares her own story of physical breakdown as a signal (back pain, gallbladder failure, 20 pounds) and what it took to finally listen. If you've ever felt the gap between who you are when you're trying to get it right and who you are when you're fully alive, this conversation goes there.

🎙️ Originally aired on Conversations Worth Your While with Linda Bucher

🔗 Find Linda: lindabucher.com/podcast

Takeaways

1. Untaming is a releasing, not an adding on.

We think we need to fix, acquire, or become something new. In reality, untaming is about shedding identities that were never ours (the shoulds, the protective postures, the contortions we learned to make ourselves acceptable) and returning to who we already are.

2. Your issues are in your tissues.

The body keeps the score of every place we've gone against our essential self. Jaw tension, headaches that last 15 days, a back that won't let you sit, a gallbladder working at 25%. That’s the body communicating. When we finally listen, it stops having to scream.

3. The catch-22 of performing to belong.

When we contort ourselves to fit in, we stop knowing whether the world loves us or loves the person we're pretending to be. Worthiness feels elusive because we're not showing anyone the real thing.

4. Fitting in requires you to change. Belonging doesn't.

5. You are here to live your purpose, not figure it out.

Purpose isn't a puzzle to solve. It's a discovery: something you uncover by removing what doesn't fit rather than by adding on what you think should.

6. Leadership shows up in many forms (including your own life).

Leadership isn't necessarily running for president or building a movement with millions. It's the sensation in your gut and spine when something needs to be said and no one else is saying it. Sometimes it’s hosting the salon, speaking the truth in a room of six people, or showing up where your soul is called to hold space.

7. Set an intention for what you want to create, not what you want to avoid.

When we don't set an intention, our protectors do it for us. When they do they focus on avoiding danger. "I hope I don't upset her." "I hope I don't screw this up." Flip it: What do I want to create? More trust, more connection, more aliveness … that's where the soul self gets to drive.

The Speaker Alter Ego Quiz

Take the Speaker Alter Ego quiz to find out which protective mask hides your natural radiance so you can learn how to get present, connect deeply, and share your vision when it matters most!

https://voice-matters.com/speaker-alter-ego-quiz/

Support the show

Thank you so much for listening!

Take the free Speaker Alter Ego Quiz to find out which protective mask is hiding your wild, untamed radiance.
https://voice-matters.com/speaker-alter-ego-quiz/

Follow me on:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/voice_matters_llc/

Linkedin https://www.linkedin.com/in/lauri-smith-voice-matters/

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@voicematters9646