If LGBTQIA+ has only ever half fitted you, you’re not alone. In this episode I unpack why “queer” became the word I could finally call home, and why my definition stretches a little further than the acronym does. We look at Gayle Rubin’s Charmed Circle and ask what neurotypical has to do with heteronormativity. There’s also a small, low-pressure thing to try afterwards.

• Why I use queer for myself, the worry about not being “queer enough”, and why it’s still a slur for some people (and that’s OK)
• Gayle Rubin’s Charmed Circle from the 1980s, and how it divides “good” and “bad” sex
• Why I see that line as the line between heteronormativity and queerness, and who historically wrote the rules
• Early thoughts on whether neurotypical and normativity are closer than they look (I’m still working on this one)
• A small task: notice one rule about how you should love, dress or behave that you picked up by default, and ask whose rule it is

People don’t fit into nice, neat boxes, so why should you have to fit into one in coaching? Neuroqueer coaching starts with your whole identity and builds from there. If you’d like to talk, I offer a free consultation: https://emmaleadleycoach.com.

References:

- Gayle Ruben – introduced the "Charmed Circle" as a theoretical framework in her 1984 essay, "Thinking Sex: Notes for a Radical Theory of the Politics of Sexuality".

- Kimberlé Crenshaw – introduced the term ‘intersectionality’ in her essay, "Demarginalizing the Intersection of Race and Sex," to point out how anti-discrimination law and early feminist theory failed Black women.

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