Guest: Kirstin Bouse, clinical and forensic psychologist and founder of All About Her, the Centre for Menopause

What happens when a woman who has always managed to cope suddenly feels as though she no longer can?

In this episode of Unfiltered & Unbound, Kate speaks with Kirstin Bouse about the complicated overlap between anxiety, perimenopause, burnout, identity and the invisible load many women carry through midlife.

Kirstin explains why anxiety can appear for the first time during perimenopause, or return in a form that feels very different from anything a woman has experienced before. They discuss panic-like symptoms, disrupted sleep, overwhelm, brain fog, reduced confidence and the frightening sense of no longer recognising yourself.

Kirstin also shares one of the simplest and most memorable ideas from the episode: chase joy. Supporting mental health is not only about reducing difficult symptoms. It is also about actively making room for the people, experiences and moments that help life feel more like your own.

Kate and Kirstin discuss:

• why anxiety can emerge or intensify during perimenopause
• what midlife anxiety can look like in women who have never considered themselves anxious
• the overlap between perimenopause, burnout and chronic overwhelm
• sleep disruption, panic symptoms, brain fog and reduced confidence
• why hormonal changes can affect mental health
• preparing for a conversation with your GP or psychologist
• the importance of self-compassion and becoming more discerning with your energy
• why feeling better does not have to mean returning to overfunctioning
• the role joy can play in supporting wellbeing through midlife

Kirstin Bouse is a clinical and forensic psychologist with nearly 30 years of experience. She is the founder of All About Her, the Centre for Menopause, and works primarily with women navigating perimenopause, menopause, burnout and late-diagnosed neurodivergence.

Kirstin brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work, helping women understand what is happening, access appropriate support and move through midlife with greater clarity and self-compassion.

All About Her, the Centre for Menopause
https://www.allabouthercentre.com.au/

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This episode provides general information only and is not a substitute for individual medical or psychological advice. Do not stop or change medication without speaking with a qualified health professional. If anything discussed in this episode feels familiar or concerning, please speak with your GP, psychologist or another appropriately qualified practitioner.

Solo episode

The Unfiltered and Unbound campaign explores the impact of societal rules on women's lives, particularly during midlife. It encourages women to identify and challenge rules that no longer serve them, promoting agency and empowerment.

Takeaways

• Midlife as a time of reinvention
• Challenging societal rules

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Have an idea for a story? What to share what rule you are breaking with us?

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Content note

This episode discusses substance dependence, intravenous drug use, homelessness, abusive relationships, trauma and a drug-related medical crisis. Please listen with care.

I struggled to find the right place for this episode in the Unfiltered & Unbound release schedule.

Brendan’s experience is different from many of the stories we usually share, but the heart of this conversation crosses gender, age and the boundaries we sometimes place around whose stories belong where.

It is a story about shame, identity, asking for help and rebuilding a life when change feels impossible. It also reminds us that we rarely know what someone has survived before they arrive in the version of their life we see today.

One Day at a Time: Brendan’s Story of Addiction, Recovery and Rebuilding

When people meet Brendan today, they see a respected professional, a homeowner and someone who appears confident, capable and successful.

What they would not know is that there was once a time when they might have walked past him living on the street without recognising the person he would become.

In this deeply honest conversation, Brendan shares his experience of addiction, homelessness, shame and the moment he realised that continuing on the same path could cost him his life.

He talks about the experiences that shaped his early years, the gradual loss of control and why asking for help felt almost harder than continuing to struggle.

Brendan also takes us inside the early stages of recovery: entering a therapeutic community, walking away from almost everyone he knew, rebuilding family relationships and learning to live with structure and boundaries.

This is not only a conversation about addiction. It is about identity, resilience and the repeated decisions involved in building a different life.

Brendan’s story reminds us that we rarely know what someone has lived through, shame thrives in silence and people are not defined by their hardest chapter.

In this episode:

• What people misunderstand about addiction
• The connection between addiction, shame and self-hatred
• Why Brendan struggled to ask for help
• The experience that became his turning point
• Life inside a therapeutic community
• Why structure and accountability mattered
• Walking away from people and environments that threatened his recovery
• Rebuilding trust with his family and himself
• Managing the fear of slipping backwards
• How Brendan’s definition of success changed
• Taking recovery one day, hour or second at a time
• Brendan’s message for anyone who believes it is too late to change

Support

You do not need to manage addiction or concern about someone you love alone.

WA Alcohol and Drug Support Line

• Perth: (08) 9442 5000
• Regional WA: 1800 198 024
• Available 24 hours a day

For immediate crisis support, contact Lifeline:

• Call 13 11 14
• Text 0477 13 11 14

In an emergency, call 000.

A final note from Kate

Change is not always dramatic. Sometimes it is quiet, consistent and deeply courageous.

It can be a daily decision to keep going, rebuild trust, create structure, walk away from what no longer serves you and believe that another life is possible.

Please share this episode with someone who may need to hear Brendan’s story.

Unfiltered & Unbound
Honest conversations for women navigating midlife on their own terms.

Rewrite the rules. Then live them.