Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• I discovered my husband’s porn addiction 4 years into our marriage. By the grace of God we’re still married. Then 20 years into our marriage discovered that our son was addicted to same sex porn. At the time, we chose not to tell our younger daughter or extended family. Our daughter is now 20 and still doesn’t know. I don’t want to be the secret keeper or betray my daughter, and yet feel like this is my son’s story to tell. If you were in my shoes, what would you do?
• My husband disclosed his porn addiction before we married. Despite all of counseling, coaching, and ongoing recovery work, he still relapses once a month. Recently he crossed one of my firm boundaries: watching porn while home alone with our three young children. When I tried to talk with him about it, he said he felt unsafe and questioned whether my boundaries were helping me. I’m at a loss on how to move forward in this relationship and how to protect my kids.
• As a parent, I’m determined to break the cycle and create a healthier home for my children than the one we’ve experienced. What are the most important things I can do today to help them grow up with safety, trust, and healthy views of sexuality?

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Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• I used ChatGPT to understand the pornography my husband viewed because I was desperate for answers. He now says this proves I have poor judgment. Was my response understandable or harmful?
• My husband continually fantasizes about my best friend. This has been the most enraging part of his addiction for me. How do I navigate this friendship while trying to heal?
• My wife says I'm constantly triggering her healing. I may have mild autism and struggle with empathy. Besides therapy, what can I do to support her better?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Determined For More

Is This Autism?

Living Stones Coaching

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• Eight years into repeated disclosures and relapses, I'm separated again. Am I required as a Christian to keep pursuing reconciliation?
• After 27 years of marriage shaped by pornography addiction, I don't know if sexual intimacy is emotionally safe for me anymore. Can companionship without sex be a healthy marriage?
• My husband has hidden compulsive sexual behavior despite years in accountability groups, and my therapist now suspects severe personality pathology. How do I rebuild trust in myself after deception, gaslighting, trauma bonding, and spiritual abuse?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• After years of healing, I recently discovered information that makes me wonder whether I ever truly received a complete therapeutic disclosure. Is it ever too late for full disclosure?
• My husband recently hit rock bottom and is finally engaging in recovery, but he's had six slips in two and a half months. How do I distinguish early recovery from simply changing addiction patterns?
• Everyone talks about 90 days of abstinence, but many therapists recommend waiting 6–12 months before rebuilding sexual intimacy. What timeline should betrayed spouses consider?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

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SOCIALS

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• My husband struggled with pornography and a wandering eye for nearly 40 years before quitting. How long does it take for those brain pathways and bonds to change?
• I was recently told, addiction aside, that "biology kicks in" for men. Besides resisting the urge, what actually happens in the brain and body?
• What is your opinion on oral sex within marriage?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

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SOCIALS

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• My husband has two years of recovery, but I'm still devastated by the fact that lust will always be part of our marriage. How do I accept that without it destroying me?
• Six months after discovering my husband's betrayal involving sex workers, pornography, dating sites, and ongoing dishonesty, is it really possible for a relationship to recover from this?
• Even after two years of recovery work, I still feel profoundly alone because my husband remains emotionally unavailable. How do I navigate betrayal trauma when emotional repair isn't happening?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

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SOCIALS

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• My sexually addicted husband is 3 months into recovery. He said he’s never been fully honest with me. How much should he share? How can he learn to be vulnerable after 30 years of being a lone wolf?
• My husband has been sober from pornography for 12 years. He is sober but not recovering. He connects to everyone else in his life, but emotionally and physically neglects me. How do we address respect and connection when relapse isn't the issue?
• My husband and I have been on the recovery road for a long time and while our relationship is solid, we still personally sometimes struggle with emotional intimacy, like sharing our feelings with each other. Do you have suggestions or tools?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• I’m in a tough situation. I’m in a Betrayal & Beyond group, navigating betrayal from my husband’s porn use, and have recognized serious shame surrounding my own struggle with masturbation. I feel hypocritical for being hurt while struggling myself, and I’m unsure how to prioritize my healing. Should I address my personal struggles before fully processing the betrayal trauma, or can both healing journeys happen together?
• In my own struggle with addiction, I’ve noticed how often I fall into lies and manipulation, even when I don’t want to. Why does this pattern feel so automatic and deeply tied to my behavior? What is happening in me that makes honesty feel so difficult when I’m acting out?
• As a woman who struggles with sexual brokenness, I've tried to find help within the church, but it often feels unsafe, minimizing, or even shame-inducing. I thought the church would be the safest place to heal, so why does it feel so hard to be honest there? How do I find support when the place I expected safety feels so complicated?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

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Follow us on X (Twitter)

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.