Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• I’m in a tough situation. I’m in a Betrayal & Beyond group, navigating betrayal from my husband’s porn use, and have recognized serious shame surrounding my own struggle with masturbation. I feel hypocritical for being hurt while struggling myself, and I’m unsure how to prioritize my healing. Should I address my personal struggles before fully processing the betrayal trauma, or can both healing journeys happen together?
• In my own struggle with addiction, I’ve noticed how often I fall into lies and manipulation, even when I don’t want to. Why does this pattern feel so automatic and deeply tied to my behavior? What is happening in me that makes honesty feel so difficult when I’m acting out?
• As a woman who struggles with sexual brokenness, I've tried to find help within the church, but it often feels unsafe, minimizing, or even shame-inducing. I thought the church would be the safest place to heal, so why does it feel so hard to be honest there? How do I find support when the place I expected safety feels so complicated?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

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Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• After discovering my husband’s long-hidden porn addiction and affair, my adult children and I are struggling to reconcile his deep involvement in faith and ministry with the secret double life he lived for decades. I don’t know how to explain the disconnect between genuine devotion and destructive behavior. Was his faith real, or was it all a mask?
• After years of recovery work, I’m concerned my husband’s addiction may have shifted from pornography to an unhealthy fixation on sex and physical access to me. His constant touching and spiritual justifications leave me feeling objectified instead of safe or loved. How do I set healthy boundaries around intimacy without damaging connection or recovery progress?
• After 27 years of marriage and years of counseling and recovery work, my husband recently admitted he follows his own definition of sobriety, leaving me feeling deceived and deeply used. As we prepare for full disclosure and a polygraph, I feel emotionally exhausted and ready to leave, yet conflicted by my faith and church beliefs. Am I wrong for wanting divorce after so many broken promises and shifting truths?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Adult Children of Sex Addicts

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• After five years of betrayal and partial recovery efforts, I’m seeing new honesty and engagement from my husband, but repeated slip-ups leave me unsure what’s truly changing. I’m caring for myself well, yet struggling to discern whether this reflects early sobriety with setbacks or simply a different addiction pattern. How do I know the difference?
• Three and a half years into recovery, another disclosure of relapses has left me devastated and questioning whether I’ll ever feel deep love for my husband again. Even before this, my feelings already felt distant and dulled compared to before the betrayal. Can love truly return after repeated heartbreak, or does it change permanently?
• A year into recovery after my husband confessed long-term struggles with pornography and lust, I can see real transformation in him, yet I still feel deeply wounded by the reality that lust may always be something he battles. Even his honesty and progress don’t remove the pain this creates in me. How do I live with the ongoing reality of that struggle without feeling devastated by it?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Lapse Vs Relapse

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.