If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• As my husband and I walk through recovery—he’s in Seven Pillars, I’m in Betrayal & Beyond—I’m nearing the end of my group and preparing for full disclosure. I wish there were clear resources to help our Christian parents, including my retired pastor father-in-law, understand sex addiction and how to support us. Could you create an episode specifically for parents of adult children in recovery?
• I'm navigating a delicate situation with my 16-year-old daughter and a male youth group leader. He has been texting her personal prayers and has crossed boundaries, despite our requests for him to stop. My concern is whether this relationship is appropriate, as it feels like he’s overstepping. We're meeting with him and church leadership soon, and I’m wondering what questions to ask and how to handle this in a God-honoring way. I'm also healing from my own betrayal trauma and struggling with how to approach this situation without letting past wounds cloud my judgment. Would love any advice.
• My husband and I are celebrating 25 years in August, but my recovery has been a rollercoaster since discovering his porn addiction 15 months ago. We’ve planned an anniversary trip, but I’m struggling to book it. Part of me thinks it could be healing, but I’m afraid it might end up being a painful reminder. How long into recovery is it safe to take an extended vacation?

Girl Talk

SI 101

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Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• I’m 26, single, and struggling with porn addiction. While I have filters in place, I’ve turned to sexually explicit romance books as a substitute. It feels less harmful since the characters aren't real, but I know it still impacts me. Can reading these books damage my future relationships, or will marriage truly make the cravings disappear?
• I'm 46, still single, and always thought I’d be married by now. Over the years, I’ve felt disappointed, but that hasn’t stopped my natural sexual desire. Learning about my body through self-pleasure has helped me grow in confidence and body acceptance. Is it okay to self-pleasure while waiting for a future partner, and can it actually prepare me for a healthy sex life in marriage?
• I'm in my 40s, and don't struggle with fantasy, however, in the last year I have noticed that I'm struggling with masturbating at specific times of the month. It seems like this is related to hormonal changes. Even though I'm not thinking about anything specific or watching anything inappropriate, I still get filled with shame when I lose the battle. What should I do?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

• During our full disclosure, my husband confessed to having fantasies about my young adult daughter. She is his step-daughter and he did not raise her. He then confessed that he is aroused by most developed females. I suppose my question is this: is there really hope that his arousal template can change and our marriage can survive and thrive? I am scared to stay in this marriage and circle the drain for years. I am scared I will never feel safe around any other females, including my own daughter.
• After years of struggling, including a particularly destructive 2023–2024, my husband claims to have maintained five months of sobriety following a brief relapse. Yet he’s not active in a men’s group or recovery program and only recently resumed counseling. Can long-term sobriety truly begin without consistent support, especially after a lifetime of addiction and minimal accountability?
• I struggle with unmet expectations after years of addiction and my own enabling. My husband’s emotional affair lasted months, with multiple other women involved. He now says he wants change—for himself—and is more present with our kids. But I’m exhausted doing the work alone while he remains passive in recovery. Am I asking too much to want true partnership and understanding in this healing process?

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)