Shame can be shaping our lives without us even realizing it’s there. Unlike feelings we can easily recognize, shame can sit underneath our reactions, our beliefs about ourselves, and the way we interpret what is happening around us.

It can turn a mistake into evidence that something is wrong with us. It can change what we hear when someone brings a problem to us. And it can influence our relationships, the things we allow ourselves to receive, and even the things we say we want.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why shame can be difficult to recognize even when it is having a significant impact on our lives.
• How shame can become connected to other emotions and experiences.
• How shame can influence self-sabotage and the things we believe we deserve.
• Why shame can change how we hear and respond to other people in our relationships.
• How self-compassion and questioning our own perceptions can begin to interrupt shame.

“Shame is like one of those emotions that you really don’t know it’s coming into play. You really don’t understand the impact that it’s having on you.”

“Shame is what creates this perception of all-encompassing versus this one little issue that somebody addressed.”

“When you can question what you perceive reality to be, to quote-unquote fact check your reality, you can see if what you’re perceiving is adding up to.”

“Shame can direct your whole life.”

• Healing the Shame That Binds You by John Bradshaw
• Embracing Shame: How to Stop Resisting Shame and Turn It into a Powerful Ally by Bret Lyon & Sheila Rubin
• Center for Healing Shame founded by Bret Lyon & Sheila Rubin

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who might need to hear it.

Join me over on Substack at The Better Question for more of what I’m thinking about and exploring: The Better Question

To get in touch about the show: ajarutledgecoaching@gmail.com

Thank you for listening to The Reality Between Us.