In this episode, “She’s Attractive but I’m Not Attracted: Unboxing Desire and Conditioning,” Samantha Fox explores how society, religion, culture, heteronormativity, and the male gaze condition us to confuse being desired with genuine attraction. She unpacks the difference between recognizing someone’s beauty and feeling real sensual desire, and shares how many women experience attraction through emotional safety, energetic fit, and connection over time (including demisexuality). This episode is an invitation to step off the “conveyor belt” of approval, question mainstream rules about sex and romance, and compassionately discover what attraction and intimacy actually mean for you.

Keywords:

attractive vs attracted, demisexual, demisexuality, lesbian attraction, queer desire, late bloomer lesbian, coming out later in life, heteronormativity, compulsory heterosexuality, comphet, male gaze, patriarchy, women and desire, emotional safety, intimacy, sensuality, sexuality spectrum, asexual spectrum, internal family systems, IFS, self-acceptance, unlearning conditioning, romantic spark, queer relationships

TRIGGER WARNING-

Traumatic topics discussed in this episode

In this episode of Unbox Yourself with Samantha Fox®, Samantha talks with Mandy about trauma, complex PTSD (CPTSD), and sexuality, and what it can look like to be coming out later in life (as bisexual/queer) inside a long-term marriage.

Mandy shares her story of starting therapy in 2020, coming out in 2022, and navigating the nervous system reality of healing: codependency, fight-or-flight, feeling “too much,” internalized homophobia, and the grief that can come when a partner can’t fully accept your identity. They also discuss the stigma and complexity of divorce, co-parenting after separation, and why sexuality is about more than sex, it’s about self-trust, belonging, and being seen.

If you’re navigating CPTSD, a mixed-orientation marriage, late-in-life coming out, or rebuilding after divorce, this conversation will help you feel less alone.

In this episode of Unbox Yourself with Samantha Fox®, we explore why a not straight awakening can feel emotionally overwhelming for women coming out later in life, whether you’re realizing you’re gay/lesbian, bisexual, or queer after years of living a straight, heteronormative life.

If you’re experiencing shame, guilt, fear, or self-judgment as you notice same-sex attraction, you’re not broken—your emotional system may be stuck in survival mode, using protective strategies to keep you safe. Samantha breaks down the core emotions we’re wired with, how childhood conditioning can teach us to shut feelings down, and why those “protective parts” get loud when you begin exploring your sexual identity.

You’ll leave with a compassionate reframe for the inner backlash (including internalized shame/internalized homophobia), and a path toward moving from surviving to thriving so you can access what’s truly authentic for you—without forcing one “right” outcome for your relationship or your life.

***I create this content for a general audience and may not address every access need or circumstance in each episode. Please adapt what you hear to your own body, mind, and lived experience, and seek appropriate support when needed

Summary:

In this heartfelt episode of Unbox Yourself®, sexuality coach Samantha Fox is joined by two former clients, Rebecca and Trish, who came out as gay later in life after long marriages with children ranging from teens to adults. Together they explore the fear behind the question “What about the kids?”, the reality of the messy middle of separation/divorce, and what happens when you stop living “half-dead” and start living authentically. This conversation offers reassurance, real-life perspective, and practical emotional guidance for anyone navigating late-bloomer coming out, parenting, and family change.

Keywords:

coming out later in life, late bloomer lesbian, gay later in life, sexuality coach, sexuality coaching, LGBTQ+ parenting, telling your kids you’re gay, divorce with kids, separation, co-parenting, internalized homophobia, authenticity, messy middle, resilience, Glennon Doyle Untamed

What’s the difference between a soulmate and a karmic relationship and why do some connections feel so magnetic you can’t stop thinking about them? In this episode of Unbox Yourself,® Samantha sits down with her spiritual life coach, Angela, to unbox the language of spiritual love and soul-level bonds with clarity, compassion, and depth.

Together, we explore how relationships can act as mirrors, revealing our deepest core needs (like the longing to be seen and witnessed) and guiding us back to our highest timeline.

Angela shares her personal path into intuitive work including channeling, the Akashic Records, and shamanic journeying and introduces the healing practice of soul retrieval for the moments when you feel lost, fragmented, or like traditional “mind work” isn’t reaching the root.

We also touch on why “twin flame” can be a trendy label that doesn’t always support healing, and how a divine partnership is less about obsession and more about mutual willingness, growth, and aligned evolution.

If you’re navigating an intense connection and wondering whether it’s soulmate medicine, karmic lessons, or a sacred invitation to come home to yourself… this conversation is for you.

In this episode, Samantha Fox speaks to women who are partnered or married to “a good man” yet feel a powerful late-in-life lesbian awakening. Intense same-sex attraction, obsession, fantasizing, emotional disconnection, and a growing resistance to physical intimacy with their male partner.

If you keep thinking, “My biggest fear is hurting him,” Samantha invites a deeper question: Is the fear of hurting him masking the fear of facing your own gayness shaped by compulsive heterosexuality and internalized homophobia?

You’ll learn common ways queerphobic conditioning can show up, including:

• Self-gaslighting (“Is what I’m feeling even real?”)
• Judging queer people as “too gay” or only feeling safe with straight-passing partners
• Avoiding certain types of intimacy or pleasure because it feels “too gay”
• Over-performing femininity to “fit in” with straight friends

Samantha also explores a hard truth: staying while disconnected and miserable may already be hurting both partners and honesty can be the first step toward freedom, healing, and aligned love.

If this resonates, Samantha shares a self-led course designed to help you unbox yourself from queerphobic conditioning.

Are you suddenly questioning everything you thought you knew about yourself-especially your sexuality, your relationships, or your identity later in life?

You're not alone.

In this episode of Unbox Yourself, Sam Fox explores the real fears and surprising freedom that come with embracing uncertainty after years (or decades) of “certain” living.

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Hear true stories of women rocked by unexpected connection. Dig into why our brains crave certainty, why “playing it safe” isn’t always safe, and how the roots of shame, traumatic aloneness, and regret can haunt (and heal) us.

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Sam shares practical ways to befriend the unknown, validate your own messy questioning, and discover why not-knowing may be the bravest thing you do.

In this episode:

• The panic (and possibility) of not-knowing
• Why “eternal safety” is a dangerous myth
• Being alone vs. traumatic aloneness
• The reality of coming out later
• Learning to live and love in the present

If you need reassurance, real talk, and permission to not know what's next, this one’s for you.

Listen now and claim your seat in the messy, beautiful unknown.

Resources Mentioned:

• Unbox Your Sexuality Program: HERE
• Connect with Sam: HERE
• Join the community: HERE

Love this episode? Rate, review, and share! Questions or thoughts? Reach out to Sam on Instagram or TikTok

Kicking off 2026 with raw honesty and heart, Samantha Fox reflects on a year of grief, transformation, and coming home to herself. Inspired by lessons from her parents (especially her father’s unusual embrace of being different), Samantha explores the bittersweet aftermath of coming out and unboxing one’s true self especially for queer women breaking free from expectations and “normal.” With empathy and realness, this solo episode looks at grief (yes, it’s part of the journey!), the myth of normalcy, reclaiming your power, and how honoring your difference is a radical gift. Samantha shares her own experience, lessons from her clients, and a soulful invitation to embrace your own unique, beautiful path this year.

• Coming out later in life
• Grief and self-acceptance
• Queer women’s journeys
• Patriarchal norms & liberation
• Unboxing your sexuality
• Power & financial independence
• Embracing difference
• Family lessons
• Authentic living
• Healing after divorce

Welcome to 2026 and a deeply personal solo episode with Samantha Fox. In this kick-off for the new year, Samantha:

• Reflects on the challenges, losses, and transitions of 2025 (including the passing of her father, who inspired this podcast and her embrace of being “different”).
• Shares raw stories of grief-her own and her clients’. Why is it so common to feel lost and sad after breaking free? And why is this grief not only valid, but necessary?
• Explores the myth of “normal” and the immense pressure to fit in especially for women and queer folks. What happens when we unlearn those old scripts?
• Offers candid insights on why financial independence is crucial for women’s empowerment (and why getting “unstuck” often means walking away from dependency, even if it’s scary).
• Looks at her parents’ unconventional choices and how those “pioneer” spirits paved a path for her to embrace her own unique, beautiful journey.
• Extends heartfelt encouragement (with a little tough love): give yourself permission to grieve, and to be different. The pain is real, but so are the gifts on the other side.
• Invites you to celebrate your difference and to find ease, curiosity, and self-love as you chart your course for 2026.

Connect with Samantha:

• Website
• Instagram: @lesbiancuriositycoach
• TikTok: @lesbiancuriositycoach