In this episode, “She’s Attractive but I’m Not Attracted: Unboxing Desire and Conditioning,” Samantha Fox explores how society, religion, culture, heteronormativity, and the male gaze condition us to confuse being desired with genuine attraction. She unpacks the difference between recognizing someone’s beauty and feeling real sensual desire, and shares how many women experience attraction through emotional safety, energetic fit, and connection over time (including demisexuality). This episode is an invitation to step off the “conveyor belt” of approval, question mainstream rules about sex and romance, and compassionately discover what attraction and intimacy actually mean for you.

Keywords:

attractive vs attracted, demisexual, demisexuality, lesbian attraction, queer desire, late bloomer lesbian, coming out later in life, heteronormativity, compulsory heterosexuality, comphet, male gaze, patriarchy, women and desire, emotional safety, intimacy, sensuality, sexuality spectrum, asexual spectrum, internal family systems, IFS, self-acceptance, unlearning conditioning, romantic spark, queer relationships

TRIGGER WARNING-

Traumatic topics discussed in this episode

In this episode of Unbox Yourself with Samantha Fox®, Samantha talks with Mandy about trauma, complex PTSD (CPTSD), and sexuality, and what it can look like to be coming out later in life (as bisexual/queer) inside a long-term marriage.

Mandy shares her story of starting therapy in 2020, coming out in 2022, and navigating the nervous system reality of healing: codependency, fight-or-flight, feeling “too much,” internalized homophobia, and the grief that can come when a partner can’t fully accept your identity. They also discuss the stigma and complexity of divorce, co-parenting after separation, and why sexuality is about more than sex, it’s about self-trust, belonging, and being seen.

If you’re navigating CPTSD, a mixed-orientation marriage, late-in-life coming out, or rebuilding after divorce, this conversation will help you feel less alone.

In this episode of Unbox Yourself with Samantha Fox®, we explore why a not straight awakening can feel emotionally overwhelming for women coming out later in life, whether you’re realizing you’re gay/lesbian, bisexual, or queer after years of living a straight, heteronormative life.

If you’re experiencing shame, guilt, fear, or self-judgment as you notice same-sex attraction, you’re not broken—your emotional system may be stuck in survival mode, using protective strategies to keep you safe. Samantha breaks down the core emotions we’re wired with, how childhood conditioning can teach us to shut feelings down, and why those “protective parts” get loud when you begin exploring your sexual identity.

You’ll leave with a compassionate reframe for the inner backlash (including internalized shame/internalized homophobia), and a path toward moving from surviving to thriving so you can access what’s truly authentic for you—without forcing one “right” outcome for your relationship or your life.

***I create this content for a general audience and may not address every access need or circumstance in each episode. Please adapt what you hear to your own body, mind, and lived experience, and seek appropriate support when needed