*i accidentally wiped the SD card with the audio, ignore the ambient dog noises*

Riley is out of town so the boys hold it down in the dark. Topics include: Kendrick vs. Drake, Nintendo killing GMod, copyright policy, (sensei) Steven Seagal, Kavon learning hapkido from Master Kim, TFATK hate, The Ultimate Fighter Season 10 (s/o Titties). Kavon reveals our new mascot, a fully bearded James Harden bobble head

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in which we cement ourselves as the fattest podcast on earth by literally breaking our couch on air. topics include: Riley's past as an aspiring magician, John Mulaney, the fall of Haiti and the Sudanese civil war. we discuss Wyclef Jean possibly being a CIA asset and realize that he wasn't actually in the Black Eyed Peas. we talk about prison power dynamics and declare that the only winners in prison are the guards. skip the 15 minutes where we try and put the couch back together, which is left in for posterity's sake***

IG: @kavonrassi @rileyfallcomedy @uglypeoplepodcast
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in which we talk about Neal Brennan's specials, mix up airplane movies and (newly married 18 year old) Riley introduces us to Saucy Santana. we try and figure out proper jelqing technique. we talk buff indian guys and figure out that we all suck at accents. we are once again wrong about geography. Blood Diamond gets brought up again somehow. Kavon explains what a Mary Sue is and talks about making an enemy at Planet Fitness. we practice our ad read skills, sponsor us please Bad Dragon

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in which we talk about Miyazaki movies being too sad, Kavon being a sports guy now, starchy socks, messing up people's Netflix algo's, stealing fight PPV streams, debate Key & Peele vs Chapelle for the best black sketch show, and consider becoming Red Pill grifters

IG: @kavonrassi @rileyfallcomedy @uglypeoplepodcast
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in which we mispronounce James Harden's name, debate the validity of Diddy-Meek Mill audio, our experiences talking to naked people on Omegle & Kavon's recent training in his quest to jump higher. we discuss the 21 Savage is Tupac theory and decide who the winner of the J. Cole/Kendrick/Drake beef is. ***this was recorded 2 days before OJ died*** s/o to our buddy Chris and his ol' big d*ck. RIP Rec Room (2017-2024)

IG: @kavonrassi @rileyfallcomedy @uglypeoplepodcast
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in which we hit the pen(s) too hard and end up in Blinkerville, USA. topics include chimp combat tactics (they fight dirty), Gen Z being hungry for blood, dogs getting the big stretch, and celebrity sex tapes. we confuse LeVar Burton with Verne Troyer and somehow fail to remember his biggest credit (he was the Reading Rainbow guy). Paulo Costa is a dawg and a future bond villain. i'm extra fat in this episode

IG: @kavonrassi @rileyfallcomedy @uglypeoplepodcast
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in which we confuse Al Bundy and Ted Bundy and declare that Rosa Parks could get it. we don't know what Dixie means but its probably racist. we talk about TikTok'ers invading Walmart and how strong our tummies are. we learn to pregame with Pepto Bismol. we advocate for AI drivers but not AI cops. we argue that robots are inherently racist because they can't recognize darker skin tones. we reminisce about being attacked by animals and other traumatic childhood experiences. we call out comedy tmz channels for the low effort trash that they are. JuiceWRLD was good change my mind

IG: @kavonrassi @rileyfallcomedy @uglypeoplepodcast
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in which we talk about height insecurity, the unskilled labor market, right-wing accordion players and wheelchair comics. we go down the black 2A rabbit hole. we show why the Midwest is mid at best. Kavon finds out what a defensive back does. we realize that we are too old for kiwi farms and reminisce about the old internet. kenny does kettlebell hammer swings offscreen for us. superboy Riley sits this one out as he had to work. S/O misters mutahar & metokur. rogan boards 4 lyfe

IG: @kavonrassi @rileyfallcomedy @heykennyitskenny @uglypeoplepodcast
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