The Calm Before the Rugby Storm (and a Whole Lot of Bullshit)

Not a huge amount of rugby has happened this week, but bloody hell, there's a lot about to happen!

With the second half of the Nations Championship about to kick off, the Northern and Southern Hemispheres are preparing to go head-to-head in what promises to be an absolute feast of international rugby.

This week on Two Cents Gets Distracted, we dissect the big questions. Who's got the best No. 6? Who's got the best of every other kind of six? Which teams are on the rise, which are heading backwards, and what would constitute a pass mark—or an absolute disaster—for each nation?

We look ahead to some mouth-watering matchups, make a few bold predictions, and attempt to sound like we know what we're talking about.

But with bugger-all rugby actually played this week, we also spend a considerable amount of time talking absolute bullshit.

So, if you love rugby, questionable analysis, wild tangents and two blokes getting distracted by their own conversations, you've come to the right place.

Grab a beer AND ENJOY

Well, well, well. Would you look at that? The All Blacks have gone and absolutely PUMPED the Wallabies. AGAIN.

And my word, that first half was a thing of beauty.

Champagne rugby. Free-flowing attack. Forward dominance. And a Wallabies defence that looked like it had collectively forgotten how tackling works.

The All Blacks piled on 36 points in the first half, and just three minutes into the second, they'd reached 43! Arguably the best rugby we've seen from them under Dave Rennie. It was glorious.

And at the heart of it all? BEAUDEN MOTHERFLIPPIN' BARRETT.

The old boy turned back the clock, bagged himself two tries, silenced the doubters, and reminded everyone of a very important lesson: Form is temporary. Class is permanent. And that man is ALL class.

But then... something happened.

The second half arrived, the champagne went flat, the injury stoppages piled up, the TMO decided to get involved, and the Wallabies finally remembered they were allowed to play rugby too. What had looked like a potential cricket score turned into a slightly frustrating second-half slog.

Still, a 43–21 thumping is a 43–21 thumping. We'll take it!

We dissect the good, the bad, and the slightly baffling from another All Blacks demolition job.

And, at long last, WE'RE TALKING WOMEN'S RUGBY!

Ding dong! The Red Roses' extraordinary 41-match unbeaten run is OVER!

Canada have finally knocked England off their perch with a historic 24–21 victory in Toronto, in front of a record-breaking crowd of 18,621 fans. An incredible performance, a dramatic finish, and exactly the sort of result women's rugby needs. We get stuck into what this means for the women's game.

Plus, the usual collection of tangents, absolute nonsense, and questionable rugby opinions.

Oh, and Mark has discovered the sound effects button on our recording software.

God help us all.

Anyway, grab a beer and enjoy

THE BLEDISLOE IS SAFE, BABY! 🏆🍻

After weeks of doom, gloom, injuries, nervousness and general All Blacks-induced depression, we headed into the fortress that is Eden Park with the Bledisloe Cup on the line and absolutely no idea what to expect.

Well, after a lightning start, a bit of a scare from the Wallabies up front, and some genuinely outstanding rugby, the All Blacks absolutely PUMPED the Aussies. And my God, we actually caught some aerial balls!

That's right. AERIAL BALLS. IN THE AIR. CAUGHT BY ALL BLACKS PLAYERS. WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!

We won the aerial battle, dominated up front, and put together the kind of performance we've been crying out for. For the first time in what feels like an eternity, we're actually happy! And naturally, we've decided to sit down and talk about it.

Which probably means nobody will watch this episode, because apparently you sadistic bastards only tune in when we're miserable. Not that many of you watch us anyway, but still. We appreciate the suffering.

We break down the big win, look ahead to Bledisloe number two, talk our usual mountain of absolute bullshit, and bring back everyone's favourite utterly ridiculous game show: Post-Game Predictions of the URC!

It's a rare episode featuring two relatively happy All Blacks fans. Make the most of it. Who knows how long it'll last?

Grab a beer and enjoy! 🍻