How much attention are people really paying to what we do?

In this episode of Trying to Figure This Out, I start with a question that sounds a little worse than I mean it: What if nobody cared?

Not what if nobody cared about me. What if people simply weren't paying as much attention to my decisions, accomplishments, mistakes, and everyday life as I sometimes imagine?

That question leads somewhere I didn't expect. I think about the difference between wanting something to be shared and needing it to be validated, why being seen isn't the same as being cared for, and what happens when caring about someone starts to feel like responsibility for the choices they make.

Maybe the people who love us don't have to carry our lives with them to prove they care. And maybe we don't have to carry theirs either.

I don't want to live like nobody cares.

I just don't want to live like everybody's watching.

We talk a lot about growth. We encourage people to learn, try new things, and become better versions of themselves.

Then somebody actually does it, and they hear:

“You’ve changed.”

In this episode of Trying to Figure This Out, I explore what it means to give ourselves permission to evolve without rejecting the people we used to be. I talk about changing my mind, choosing new directions, the joy of being a beginner again, and why knowing who I am doesn’t mean I have to know exactly who I’ll become.

But that freedom can’t only belong to me. The people in my life are changing too, and part of loving them may be continuing to get to know who they are now—not holding them to who they used to be.

I’m comfortable with who I am.

I just don’t want to mistake that for being finished.

What does happiness actually look like—and why does it seem like the definition keeps changing?

In this episode of Trying to Figure This Out, I explore our tendency to attach happiness to what comes next: the next accomplishment, the next opportunity, the next version of ourselves. The goalpost moves, and before we know it, we're already chasing something else.

I also take a closer look at what genuinely makes me happy—freedom, time, good conversations, new experiences, and having nowhere I have to be—and what it means to actually make room for those things.

Choosing happiness isn't about pretending everything is good or giving up on ambition.

I'm going to keep moving the goalpost.

I just don't want happiness to have to move with it.