After a year of grief, endings, and major life shifts, this episode opens a new chapter for the podcast.

In this episode, I share why I began a vow of intentional abstinence as an act of self-authority rather than restriction.

After everything that unfolded last year, I realized I needed to slow down, put clear boundaries around my body, and rebuild trust with my own discernment. Growing up in a highly structured military household taught me how to obey, but not how to choose for myself. Over time, that loss of agency showed up in my relationships, my boundaries, and my relationship with sex.

Now 21 days into my abstinence journey, I reflect on reclaiming autonomy, ending cycles of self-betrayal, and coming back into relationship with my body from a place of choice.

This episode marks a shift — into deeper self-authority, clearer boundaries, and a more intentional relationship with desire, agency, and self-trust.

This conversation is for anyone navigating self-authority, sexual boundaries, and learning how to trust themselves again.

In this episode, I talk about:

• Why I chose intentional abstinence as an act of self-authority
• How a highly structured, military upbringing shaped my relationship to obedience and safety
• The connection between people-pleasing, lack of boundaries, and sexual self-betrayal
• What I’m learning about discernment and self-governance 21 days into abstinence

Listen & Connect

• Follow the podcast for new episodes
• Share this episode with someone navigating self-authority and boundaries

Connect with me:
Instagram
desiretheforbidden
justasuccugirl

Website
https://www.desiretheforbidden.com/

This episode is about the truth I kept dancing around.

I talk about how hiding became second nature for me. How silence felt safer than honesty. How telling the truth was something my nervous system learned to associate with danger, conflict, and loss.

As I reflect on this year, I share what grief, breakups, and major life transitions have taught me about authenticity. About emotional honesty. About the cost of not being real with myself.

I explore how trauma shapes our relationship with truth, why environments need to feel safe for honesty to exist, and what it looks like to build relationships that can actually hold the truth without punishment.

If you’ve ever felt afraid to name what you really want, this episode is for you.

Connect with me:
Instagram
desiretheforbidden
justasuccugirl

Website
https://www.desiretheforbidden.com/

This episode is the sound of my pleasure breathing through my grief.

I’ve been having the kind of energetic seggs that makes my chest open, my legs shake, and my past dissolve. The kind of intimacy where a securely attached man looks me in the eyes and says, “Interrupt me. Tell me what you feel. I want you in real time.”

And the moment he does, my nervous system softens.
My grief loosens.
My whole body remembers I’m still alive.

I talk about seggs as spiritual energy exchange, the raw heat of being met in my insecurity, the way his voice in my ear helps me regulate, breathe, and surrender. I talk about being Dickmatized in the most conscious, intentional, divine way — where the pleasure isn’t a distraction from the pain, but the portal that moves me through it.

If you crave episodes on grief and pleasure, secure attachment co-regulation, self-discovery through seggs, and the ritual of letting someone inside your energy field… press play.

Connect with me:
Instagram
desiretheforbidden
justasuccugirl

Website
https://www.desiretheforbidden.com/