You say you want pleasure. More connection. More intimacy. More ease in your body.

But when it actually shows up… something tightens. You pull back. You overthink. You start bracing.

This isn’t a mindset issue. It’s a safety issue.

In this conversation, we get into what it really means to receive pleasure and why so many people struggle to stay in it. From nervous system responses to the stories we carry about intimacy, this episode breaks down why feeling good can feel unfamiliar, overwhelming, or even unsafe.

We talk about the “should” patterns that pull you out of the moment, the fear that shows up when connection deepens, and the reality that pleasure is something your body has to learn how to hold.

This is about noticing your patterns without shaming them and starting to build capacity for something you actually want.

If you’ve ever felt like you can’t fully relax into love, intimacy, or even simple moments of joy… this one’s for you.

Listen all the way through. Then take one thing from this episode and actually practice it in your real life. That’s where this work starts to land.

Themes Explored in This Episode

• Why pleasure can feel unsafe even when you want it.
• Nervous system regulation and its role in intimacy
• The connection between emotional safety and physical sensation
• “Should” thinking and how it disrupts presence
• Pleasure as a skill, not just a feeling
• Fear of intimacy and pulling away from connection

Key Takeaways

• Wanting pleasure is not enough. Your body has to feel safe to receive it.
• Shame does not go away by force. It shifts through awareness and understanding.
• Your nervous system determines how long you can stay in pleasure.
• Overthinking and “should” patterns pull you out of the experience.
• Emotions are signals. Ignoring them disconnects you from your body.
• Intimacy can trigger fear, even when it’s something you want.

Jump to the Part That Calls You

0:00 Intro
6:23 The Problem with “Should” Thinking and Losing Presence
11:03 Reactivity, Overstimulation, and Pulling Away
22:05 Belief Systems and Internal Narratives
36:23 Being Disruptive and Advocating for Yourself

Connect with Sara:

• IG: https://www.instagram.com/confidentpelvicrehab
• Website: http://www.confidentpelvicrehab.com

Connect with me:
Instagram
desiretheforbidden
justasuccugirl

Tiktok
desiretheforbidden | pleasure professor 🍒 sage

Website
https://www.desiretheforbidden.com/

Welcome back to Truth Meets Taboo and to another episode of DTF Better with Sage and Sara, the series where we explore how to become more connected, more expressed, and more turned on by life itself.

In this conversation, Sara and I continue unpacking pleasure, but not in the way you’ve been taught to think about it. This isn’t about performance, perfection, or peak experiences. It’s about the small, intentional ways you build a life that actually feels good.

We introduce the idea of “planting pleasure seeds"; tiny, everyday practices that expand your capacity for joy, creativity, and self-expression over time. Because pleasure isn’t something you stumble into. It’s something you cultivate.

We move through everything from self-expression in your space, to creativity, to relationships, to the way you’ve been conditioned to prioritize others over yourself. And I share more about my own process of learning how to choose what I actually want—without filtering it through anyone else.

This is not just about seggs.

It’s about becoming someone who is deeply available; for pleasure, for truth, and for life.

This episode is an invitation to slow down, get present, and start building a relationship with yourself that actually feels good.

Themes Explored in This Episode

• Pleasure as something you cultivate, not chase
• “Planting pleasure seeds” and building capacity over time
• Why pleasure is often externalized instead of self-led
• The difference between performing pleasure vs. experiencing it
• Self-expression through space, creativity, and environment
• How your environment reflects your internal world
• Relearning joy through small, intentional practices
• The role of curiosity in accessing pleasure

Jump to the Part That Calls You

0:00 Intro
7:34 Planting Pleasure Seeds in Our Lives
16:49 The Importance of Self-Pleasure and Self-Care
27:31 Embracing Self-Governance and Intimacy Skills
36:04 Exploring Personal Desires and Whimsy
46:40 The Importance of Presence in Experiencing Life
1:01:35 The Vulnerability of Sharing Personal Experiences
1:14:34 Seeking Community in Non-Monogamous Spaces

Connect with Sara:

• IG: https://www.instagram.com/confidentpelvicrehab
• Website:
  http://www.confidentpelvicrehab.com

Connect with me:
Instagram
desiretheforbidden
justasuccugirl

Tiktok
desiretheforbidden | pleasure professor 🍒 sage

Website
https://www.desiretheforbidden.com/

I’m officially opening the first-ever Truth Meets Taboo series—a six-month conversation (two episodes per month) on pelvic floor physical therapy, sexual wellness, and healing painful sex without treating pain as the point of sex.

For this series, I’m joined by my co-host Dr. Sara Sohn, a pelvic floor physical therapist, sex counselor, mentor, and professional belly-letting-outer. Sara helps people stop leaking, stop hurting, have better sex, and feel at home in bodies that have changed after weight loss, surgery, or big life shifts—and she talks about bodies and sex the way real people actually live in them.

In this first episode, we talk about moving from pain-centered sex to pleasure-centered sex, pelvic health and pleasure, nervous system regulation, sexual counseling, kink and intimacy, intentional abstinence, watering the rose garden metaphor, choosing 2026 mantras, and staying authentic while identity and desire evolve.

This series is where truth meets taboo—and where pleasure finally gets a seat at the table.

🌹 In This Episode We Explore:

• The difference between moving away from pain vs. moving toward pleasure
• Why our nervous systems often cling to suffering
• How shame shapes our relationship to seggs, bodies, and worthiness
• The connection between pelvic floor pain and emotional safety
• Self-abandonment, resentment, and boundary collapse
• Burlesque as body reclamation
• Abstinence as self-authority and erotic agency
• Ritual vs routine: cultivating pleasure intentionally
• Rewriting body narratives after weight loss or surgery
• Living “many lives in one lifetime”

Listen & Connect

• Follow the podcast for new episodes in this six-month Truth Meets Taboo series
• Share this episode with someone navigating pleasure, pelvic health, and identity shifts

Connect with Sara:

• IG: https://www.instagram.com/confidentpelvicrehab
• Website:
  http://www.confidentpelvicrehab.com

Connect with me:
Instagram
desiretheforbidden
justasuccugirl

Tiktok
desiretheforbidden | pleasure professor 🍒 sage

Website
https://www.desiretheforbidden.com/