Therapists are human. So what happens when they miss the mark, move too fast, assume too much, or damage trust?

Therapists make mistakes too. In this episode, Paula and Lillian count down five common therapist mistakes and talk honestly about what those moments can feel like from both sides of the couch. From not fully listening and working harder than the client, to moving too fast, assuming instead of asking, and failing to repair the therapeutic relationship, they explore why mistakes do not automatically mean therapy has failed.

Therapy is not perfect, because therapists are not perfect.

In this episode of Therapy Unraveled, Paula and Lillian talk candidly about five mistakes therapists can make in the therapy room and what those mistakes can feel like from both the therapist and client perspective.

This is not about blaming therapists. It is about understanding the process better so clients can recognize when something feels off, speak up, and understand how repair can become part of the work.

Paula and Lillian draw from their own 17-year therapeutic relationship, including moments when Paula felt unheard, invalidated, pushed too quickly, or misunderstood. Lillian reflects on times she worked too hard, assumed she knew what Paula needed, or had to repair trust after difficult clinical decisions.

THE TOP 5 THERAPIST MISTAKES

#5: Not fully listening

Sometimes a therapist may be physically present but not fully grounded or tuned in. Paula talks about what it felt like when she believed Lillian missed the point of something vulnerable she was sharing. They also unpack the difference between a therapist truly not listening and simply responding differently than the client expected.

#4: Working harder than the client

Therapists care deeply about their clients, but sometimes that can lead to over-functioning. Lillian reflects on times she may have offered too much support or answered calls when stronger boundaries would ultimately have helped Paula build confidence in using her own skills.

#3: Moving too fast or too slow

Therapy has to move at the right pace. Paula shares how a previous EMDR experience moved too quickly and left her feeling re-traumatized, and how safety and preparation mattered before she was ready to try trauma work again. They also discuss the opposite problem, when therapists become so cautious that clients stay stuck.

#2: Assuming instead of asking

When a therapist assumes they know what a client is feeling, thinking, or needing, it can feel deeply invalidating. Paula shares an old email exchange with Lillian about a moment when she felt her story had been taken away from her. Lillian reflects on why therapists need to check assumptions rather than present interpretations as fact.

#1: Not addressing the relationship itself

Therapy is a relationship, and relationships have ruptures. Paula and Lillian talk about one of the most difficult moments in their work together, when Lillian pushed for Paula to be evaluated for hospitalization during a severe depressive episode. The aftermath required time, honesty, anger, fear, and rebuilding trust. That repair became part of the therapy itself.

IN THIS EPISODE, WE TALK ABOUT

• Why feeling unheard in therapy matters

• How therapist boundaries can actually help clients grow

• Why trauma work must be paced carefully

• How clients can correct their therapist

• The power of repairing ruptures in the therapeutic relationship

Email us: hello@therapyunraveledpodcast.com

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