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To Face This

To Face This

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 The consequences I get when I survived the worse nightmare of my life. Being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and CPS (Central Pain Syndrome), from being in survival mode. Being mentally, physically, emotionally and sexually abused two weeks before my thirteen birthday, By someone I wasn’t related to. I don’t blame my parents. Still the flashbacks and nightmares waking up in sweat or crying still haunts me. I won’t go any deeper because it still hurts. You think years later you would be healed, but it’s the opposite. You are learning to break bad habits and to unlearn the way you were while you were in survival mode. Being blamed for something that you didn’t cause, or told it never happened or you’re not telling the whole truth, you were never there so how would you know? You still don’t feel safe, but you don’t blame yourself anymore. God got you out of this dark moment. You and him have a long history, but you survive because of God. To face this is realizing you will never get over this just like when someone passes away. You learn to be okay, but it will come back in waves. You are in a better place and that’s all that matters.

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