Rachel tried pottery this week. It was peaceful, meditative, and lasted right up until someone told her to “enter the clay.”

Elsewhere on the Patreon: Henry Cavill loses his hot-guy privileges, Hazel gets 50 hugs, and Jason makes the Air Bud argument for shitting yourself at HYROX: show me where it says you can’t.

We finish with a timed word game.

We’d like to thank the P-Hounds for making this kind of work possible.

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️ FULL SPOILERS

Rachel left Wild Horse Nine ready to hand John Malkovich an Oscar. Jason left ready to file a complaint about the sound of a gunshot.

Our spoiler review of Martin McDonagh’s CIA dark comedy is up. We get into Malkovich, Sam Rockwell, Easter Island, and whether a trailer can tell you the same joke so many times it becomes a personal grievance.

Two thumbs up. One of those thumbs would like to read a prepared statement.

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️ FULL SPOILERS for La Bola Negra, including the ending.

La Bola Negra (The Black Ball) gave us three timelines, a heartbreaking story.

Jason and Rachel review La Bola Negra, the Spanish drama from Los Javis—Javier Calvo and Javier Ambrossi—exploring queer identity, repression, family secrets, and the freedom to live openly. We unpack its interconnected stories, Federico García Lorca’s role, and an ending that had Rachel attempting to carry her tears out of the theater.

We discuss the performances, including Penélope Cruz and Glenn Close, the film’s striking visual styles, its awards potential, and whether appreciating serious cinema requires understanding why the snow is talking.

Plus: how long is too long for a standing ovation? Because we liked the movie, but we also have somewhere to be.

Two thumbs up. Some symbolism went over our heads. The feelings did not.

What did you think of La Bola Negra? Which storyline stayed with you?

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️ FULL SPOILERS

Somehow, Palpatine returned. Somehow, we watched this again.

Our Star Wars rewatch reaches The Rise of Skywalker—and even our resident defender of a galaxy far, far away is having trouble keeping the peace. Jason, Rachel, and returning guest Jeshua review Star Wars: Episode IX, debate the sequel trilogy’s ending, and finish by ranking all 12 Star Wars movies from worst to best.

We tackle Palpatine’s return, Rey’s parentage, Kylo Ren’s redemption, Finn’s wasted potential, and a Sith dagger apparently designed by the Goonies. There’s also plenty to love: spectacular visuals, the Death Star lightsaber duel, and Adam Driver doing his absolute best in a galaxy held together with exposition.

Did J.J. Abrams deliver a satisfying ending to the Skywalker saga—or spend an entire movie arguing with The Last Jedi? And can Ash defend Episode IX without inventing a better movie halfway through?

Then comes our final Star Wars movie ranking. The Last Jedi’s placement should ensure a calm, respectful comments section.

Where does Episode IX land on YOUR Star Wars ranking? Tell us your best and worst movies below.

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️ FULL SPOILERS

Getting swallowed by a sperm whale is bad. Having to work through your daddy issues while you’re in there? Bit much.

We review Whalefall, Brian Duffield’s survival thriller starring Austin Abrams and Josh Brolin, based on the novel by Daniel Kraus. What looks like an underwater nightmare turns out to be an emotional story about grief, father-son relationships, and the least convenient place to have a breakthrough.

Jason and Rachel break down the claustrophobic whale scenes, the giant squid encounter, the gruesome body horror, and Whalefall’s ending. Austin Abrams fights to survive. Josh Brolin brings the emotional baggage. Rachel cries enough to slightly raise sea levels.

But does the survival story hold together—and how much questionable whale anatomy are we willing to forgive?

What did you think of Whalefall?

Moving survival thriller, deep-sea nightmare, or a very expensive argument for staying on land?

Subscribe to Thumb War for movie reviews, film discussions, and marital disagreements.

Join our Patreon for ad-free episodes, monthly hangouts, and bonus content.

️ Available on YouTube, Apple Podcasts & Spotify

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Did Elizabeth Holmes con Nathan Fielder? Or did Nathan Fielder just make the best movie of 2026?

This week, JD and Rachel go all in on You Can See Everything, the astonishing new A24 documentary from Nathan Fielder and Lance Oppenheim about the disgraced Theranos founder and her final days before prison.

What begins as a surprisingly intimate portrait of Elizabeth Holmes quickly spirals into a bizarre, hilarious, and deeply unsettling examination of truth, manipulation, and the people who desperately want to believe their own bullshit.

We debate whether Holmes is a world-class con artist or a woman being manipulated by the men in her life, unpack Billy Evans' increasingly strange behavior, marvel at Amanda Seyfried's involvement, and consider whether Fielder himself has become the latest victim of the con.

Plus, those EYES. My God, those eyes.

JD thinks this might be the best movie of the year. Rachel has questions. So many questions.

Full spoilers! Watch the movie first, because you're going to want to talk about this one.

Thumbs up or thumbs down? Let us know what you thought!

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SPOILER ALERT

Jason and Rachel break down Mike Flanagan’s Carrie, the new modern reimagining of Stephen King’s classic horror story. Somehow we do eight hours of Carrie in under an hour.

We get into how the series updates Carrie White for 2026, the role of social media and smartphones in modern bullying, why the expanded runtime makes the characters much more complicated, and how Summer’s performance stacks up against Sissy Spacek’s iconic version.

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How can the funniest people we know NOT love Widow’s Bay?!

We need answers.

Our Patreon-only Thumb War episode is here, and we’re laying down our thumbs to shoot the shit:

Dune 3 hype vs. Avengers: Doomsday dread The movies and TV shows we can’t wait for—and the ones we’re already complaining about ️ Our entirely reasonable Matthew Rhys obsession Nathan Fielder, Elizabeth Holmes and celebrity felon roommates A mystery in our bed that probably should’ve stayed off the podcast

Plus Billie Jean King, Rachel’s new pickleball job, and the usual loving disrespect.

What movie or show are YOU hyped for—or absolutely dreading?

Full episode exclusively on Patreon. Join the P-Hounds through the link in our bio!

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