SPOILER ALERT

Jason and Rachel are joined by Hollywood Insider/Master of Macabre DanDanThePieMan to review Zach Cregger’s Resident Evil — a video game movie about what happens when a completely normal guy with no survival skills suddenly finds himself trapped inside a survival-horror nightmare.

Jason talks about discovering the original Resident Evil on PlayStation in the ’90s and staying up until sunrise watching friends play, while the gang gets into why this movie works by capturing the feeling of playing a video game instead of simply recreating the game’s story.

Plus: why Jason thinks this is a smarter way to adapt video games, why some Resident Evil fans are furious, the surprisingly dark ending, and our official ranking of Cregger’s three movies: Barbarian, Weapons, and Resident Evil.

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SPOILER ALERT

Jason and Rachel review The Uprising, Paul Greengrass’ Andrew Garfield historical rebellion movie that somehow becomes a Robin Hood origin story — a twist the marketing apparently decided to spoil before anyone got there.

We get into the rough opening weekend, the confusing Robin Hood pivot, the lack of bows and arrows, Andrew Garfield as the Plowman, Jamie Bell as John Ball, the historically messy Peasants’ Revolt, Richard II going from simpering teen king to strategic despot overnight, and whether the movie’s modern political parallels are too blunt to ignore.

Subscribe to Thumb War for movie reviews, TV breakdowns, historical nitpicks, and Paul Greengrass camera operators who refuse to own tripods.

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Jason and Rachel review Hope, the bonkers Korean monster movie set near the DMZ that somehow combines horror, comedy, action, alien empathy, anime energy, and a whole lot of running.

We get into why the movie is very long but rarely boring, the incredible production design, the cowardly/incompetent police chief who somehow becomes hilarious, the rookie cop stealing the show, the gross-but-funny alien dissection scene, the baby alien reveal, the creepy hunter garage, and Michael Fassbender’s digital alien.

Subscribe to Thumb War for movie reviews, TV breakdowns, horror chaos, and deeply unnecessary debates about alien anatomy.

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Full Patreon-only chaos is up now.

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Rachel is back from Nova Scotia, and she brought stories, thrift-store intel, small-town pop-in trauma, and a new insult Jason immediately regrets hearing.

This week’s Patreon episode has throat burps, lake-house dreams, naked-door-answering strategies, Wharf Rat Rally leather-daddy discourse, Frenchy’s chaos, Rachel discovering “gutter sluts,” Jason refusing to wear chaps and Crocs, Hazel learning the vacuum is the real enemy, Nathan Fielder’s secret Elizabeth Holmes doc, Dolly Parton mourning, and Metro-box drama.

Game we play in the episode– https://krillion.io/

Subscribe to Thumb War for movie reviews, TV breakdowns, Patreon chaos, and conversations that should probably not happen in front of our children.

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SPOILER ALERT

Jason and Rachel review Onslaught, a bloody throwback super-soldier B-movie that somehow includes weird kinks, terrible old-man makeup, exploding jack-o’-lanterns, bad barbecue, poison gas, practical squibs, and Dan Stevens looking like Cousin Matthew got trapped in a student film.

Jason wanted to like it. Rachel maybe kinda did. Mostly, it made us want to watch The Guest and Overlord instead.

Full spoiler review is up now.

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Jason, Rachel, and Jesh continue their Star Wars journey with The Last Jedi, aka the movie that split the fandom in half like Snoke in a red throne room.

In our spoiler-filled review, we dig into why Jesh saw the movie five times in theaters, why Jason still loves Rian Johnson’s take, and why Rachel is having a harder time with Luke, Poe, Snoke, Rose, and one deeply upsetting green-milk moment.

We also talk about the opening bombing run, Poe’s Marvel-style comedy, the “bombs in space” nitpicks, Leia using the Force in space, Holdo not telling Poe the plan, Rose Tico, Canto Bight, Kylo Ren smashing his mask, Rey and Luke on Ahch-To, the sacred Jedi texts, and the jaw-dropping Snoke throne-room scene.

Subscribe to Thumb War for movie reviews, TV breakdowns, Star Wars chaos, and arguments about alien milk that nobody asked for.

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Jason and Rachel review The Dink on Apple TV, a pickleball comedy that somehow seems to hate pickleball.

We get into why the movie isn’t very funny, why the pickleball makes no sense, why the cast deserved better, how Andy Roddick and John McEnroe are wasted, why the “dink off” ending is painful, and how a Hallmark movie called Pickleball Christmas somehow did this premise better.

Plus: spoon mics in a backyard, Jake Johnson, Ed Harris, Mary Steenburgen, Ben Stiller’s gross doctor scene, fake pickleball extras, grunting, May-December weirdness, and the eternal question: who is this movie actually for?

Subscribe to Thumb War for movie reviews, TV breakdowns, Patreon chaos, and occasional accidental pickleball advocacy.

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New Patreon Only episode is up!

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The August Patreon episode was recorded in a Bowmanville backyard with spoon mics, train noise, a loon, and Daddy Doyle possibly hearing way too much.

Jason and Rachel talk road trip chaos, Buc-ee’s, Texas Roadhouse, haunted car diagnostics, stale farts, Lawrence’s thousand-mile t-shirt journey, nostalgic garbage-beer smells, certified Santa sightings, Canadian snack pairings, and Rachel’s theory that Amazon trucks look obscene.

Also: Ghost Town as a Buc-ee’s poop anthem, spoon-mic etiquette, Rachel’s swearing intervention, and FMK movie hypotheticals.

Full Patreon chaos is up now.

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