Can anything ever truly be still (apart from David Blaine)? Perhaps this is what Lou of Bend, Oregon would have the beans ponder by suggesting “stationary” as this week’s topic. Or perhaps Lou is in the middle of getting stalked by a brown bear and, while playing dead and only able to operate a mobile telephone from inside the pocket of a pair of waterproof trousers, thought posting this suggestion into the bean machine would be the quickest and surest way to get help.

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Samuel of 84a High Street selects village fêtes as this week’s topic for the beans. You may well ask yourself why Samuel has made this choice and wonder if perhaps Samuel was never voted as Village Fête Prince or if Samuel’s motorised float never podiumed or if Samuel shoved his hand in a lucky dip barrel and pulled it out again expecting to be holding a prize only to find his fingers had been replaced with very long springs but Samuel’s motive for his choice is Samuel’s business and Samuel’s business alone.

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Tickets for Henry's tour: www.henrypaker.com

Ticket's for Benjamin's Beef And Dairy Network live show: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/podcast/beef-and-dairy-network-podcast-5/

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Plumbers. Noon. The Planets. Just a few of the things that probably wouldn’t even exist today if it weren’t for the Roman Empire probably. And here’s another one: Luke from Bolton via Bremen. Little wonder then that he chose it as this week’s topic for the Three Bean Salad Podcast (which definitely would have existed either way).

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Seaside towns have had a shaky reputation ever since the people of Hastings lifted the rope for those meddlesome Normans. Almost a millennium on is it time their notoriety was reassessed? Owen of Rhyl thinks yes and that the people for the task are beans three.

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People often say it’s not the size of a clown’s trousers that matters but the state of the custard pie in the clown’s pocket. Perhaps that’s something we should all reflect on more deeply with peak circus season fast approaching. No doubt that’s what Charlotte was thinking when she luzzed “The Circus” into the Bean Machine for use as this week’s topic.

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Agatha Christie has had her works translated into more languages than any other author in history according to the most superficial of Googlings. But would she have given a monkey’s? It’s impossible to know and fruitless to ask so why Alan of the Surrey Borders entered her name into the Bean Machine is a mystery the likes of which even Jack Reacher would struggle to solve but we’re here now so let’s all make the most of it.

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Munashe of Birmingham kicks of a new season of the Three Bean Salad by feeding the topic of martial arts into the Bean Machine. So far the Bean Machine hasn’t awoken abruptly from a deep trance-like state to say the words “I know Kung Fu” but you’ll know when it does because it will quickly lead to an extinction level event.

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

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Details of Henry's tour here: henrypaker.com

Details of Mike's tour here: mrmikewozniak.com

A freebie Patreon episode to give you a taste of what we do over there.

Henry tells Mike and Ben three stories by the Brothers Grimm.

www.patreon.com/threebeansalad