Grindr is one of the easiest dating apps to actually connect on—no endless swiping, no waiting for a match, just people nearby and the ability to start a conversation. But that accessibility comes with another side.

In this episode of This Is It, I’m Just Me, I take an honest look at Grindr from the good, the bad and the downright ugly: hookups, dating, friendship, love, catfishing, stolen photos, harassment, transphobia, obsession, rejection and unwanted contact.

As a trans woman, I also explore why Grindr can sometimes make it easier to find men attracted to trans women, while also creating its own complications. I look at Canadian research into queer adults and dating apps, and most importantly, the role boundaries play in online dating.

Because attraction doesn’t give anyone ownership of another person. “No” is an answer. “Don’t call me” is a boundary. And when someone repeatedly crosses that line, it’s time to pay attention.

Grindr isn’t automatically good or bad. Some people find hookups. Some find friendships. Some find love. But whatever you’re looking for, you deserve to feel safe, respected and heard.

Extra reading:
• Grindr Safety & Privacy Resources
• Pew Research Center: Online Dating & LGBTQ+ Experiences
• Canadian research on queer adults and dating apps
• Australian Institute of Criminology: Dating-App-Facilitated Sexual Violence
• Research on trans women’s experiences of Grindr

Content note: This episode discusses harassment, stalking, transphobia, sexual violence, threats and unwanted contact.

After decades of dating, I have learned that words can be beautiful—but they aren’t always evidence. From the disappearing “good morning gorgeous” to promises to call that never become phone calls, I explore what happens when the excitement of early dating fades and you’re left looking at someone’s actual behaviour.

Blending personal experience with current psychology and reflections on how dating has changed from the pre-texting 1990s to today’s apps, FaceTime and endless messaging, I talk about what trust, authenticity and genuine communication really look like. Because words can tell you what someone wants you to know—but eventually, believing means seeing it with your own two eyes.

We’ve been taught that being single means something is missing — but does it?

In this chapter of This Is It, I’m Just Me, I explore singlehood, relationships, loneliness, and the changing ways people around the world seek connection.

From changing attitudes toward marriage and living alone to Japan’s companion robots and the growing role of AI, we look at what happens when people want connection but can’t always find it through another human being.

Because your relationship status does not determine your worth.

Sometimes the greatest flex is knowing you can stand on your own — while still leaving room for someone who deserves a place beside you.

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Sources & Further Reading

This chapter draws on research about loneliness, living arrangements, relationships, mental-health access, social robots, and AI companionship.

• World Health Organization — Social Connection, Social Isolation and Loneliness

• Statistics Canada — One-person households and Canadian household trends

• Statistics Finland — People living alone and household statistics

• Pew Research Center — Loneliness and social connections in the United States

• OECD Family Database — Marriage, divorce, cohabitation and changing family structures

Additional research was also consulted on Japan’s aging population, social robots, AI companionship, and artificial forms of intimacy.

The research in these areas is continually evolving. Some AI-companionship research is still emerging and should be viewed as early evidence rather than settled conclusions.

For anyone interested in exploring the statistics further, the organizations above are a great place to start — and, of course, you can always Google the topics and explore the research for yourself.