Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode!
Some people find their answer in Islam, Hinduism, or Buddhism. I respect those traditions. I’ve explored them, along with other beliefs and practices, and I’ve had experiences with psychedelic and psychoactive drugs that shaped my pursuit of higher consciousness. I’ve come to see Buddhism as a philosophy, a religion, or perhaps both, depending on the person and the perspective.
My first introduction to religion came when I was five and my sister took me to Sunday school. Faith wasn’t a visible part of our home. My mother had been raised Mennonite and sometimes sang “The Old Rugged Cross” while peeling potatoes. My father smoked his pipe and built useful things in his woodworking shop. With nine children to raise, my parents may simply have needed a little peace—and Sunday school turned out to be a place I liked.
I made close friends there and sang Methodist hymns, including “I’m in the Lord’s Army,” “I’ve Got a Friend in Jesus,” and “Bringing in the Sheaves”—though I sang “sheeps.” I attended faithfully until I was thirteen, collecting cross-and-crown badges that made me feel like a decorated war hero.
Then a guest minister invited people to come forward, confess their sins, and receive forgiveness. My friend Dennis went up. I stayed in the pew, frightened by the spectacle. When I asked Dennis why he’d done it, he said, “I thought it would be fun.”
A few weeks later, at a school assembly, a priest gave a benediction. I didn’t know what that was, and the unfamiliar ritual left me bewildered. I looked around for a familiar face and spotted Dennis joining in. When I later asked him about it, he explained that everyone else was doing it—and that he enjoyed joining them.
Those moments ended my participation in organized religion. At thirteen, I began reading about religion and asking questions: What draws people to faith? How do they develop it and keep it? Has organized religion done more harm than good?
I’ve spent a lifetime looking for answers. Some people may call me a doubting Thomas. I can live with that. If you’ve found a path that brings you peace, love, and understanding, I’m happy for you—and a little envious.
In this episode: childhood faith, religious tradition, doubt, the search for higher consciousness, and the many ways people try to become good.