When Bart Berkey asks Poonam Bhuchar what she does that most people don't, she doesn't hesitate. "I think most people don't listen. I think most people react, and that is the problem for so many things."

Poonam is a divorce strategist, a coach, a corporate immigration attorney, the author of SAFE from the Pain, and the founder of Kozy Wheels. She and Bart met co-hosting David Meltzer's Office Hours, and in this conversation she explains how she learned to stop reacting: at least an hour every morning checking in with herself, because most people "check their bank accounts before they check in with themselves."

She shares a moment from the week before the recording when she was absolutely correct in why she was reacting, but wrong in the reaction, and the habit that served her when she ran a law firm: telling her staff, "I'm going for a walk," before any major decision. Bart connects it to a story about firefighters and choosing to be kind over being right.

Then Poonam brings it to her work. People spend tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal fees because they are reacting, so she helps her clients emotionally stabilize before they strategize, and asks them about the life they want to lead rather than the life they did lead. Do you really want the house? Do you really want 100% custody?

In this episode:

Most people don't listen, they react

Checking in with yourself before your bank account

Correct in why, wrong in the reaction

Going for a walk before a big decision

Kind over right

Find what works for you, even ten minutes watching the birds

Emotionally stabilize before you strategize

The life you want to lead, not the life you did lead

The SAFE method

Kozy Wheels: buy two, donate one

ABOUT POONAM BHUCHAR

Divorce strategist, coach and corporate immigration attorney, author of SAFE from the Pain: How to Lead a Happy and Fulfilled Life, and founder of Kozy Wheels, a wheelchair blanket company partnered with the Disabled American Veterans.

Most People Don't... But YOU Do! is hosted by Bart Berkey, who spent 16 years as a global executive with The Ritz-Carlton and now builds HUMANALITY™, a system for making people feel cared for, valued, seen and heard rather than processed.

CHAPTERS00:00 Cold open: most people don't listen, they react00:43 Welcome, Poonam Bhuchar02:15 What Poonam does that Most People Don't02:53 Checking in with yourself every morning05:02 Correct in why, wrong in the reaction05:46 I'm going for a walk06:30 Kind over right: the firefighter video09:54 Find what works for you11:45 Ten minutes watching the birds12:15 How she became a divorce strategist14:38 Emotionally stabilize before you strategize15:04 The life you want to lead15:27 Do you really want the house?15:48 HUMANALITY™ in divorce18:01 The SAFE method18:41 Most People Don't, four times over19:25 Kozy Wheels21:46 What Bart is taking away22:46 Where to find Poonam

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