PRESS RELEASE: FOR IMMEDIATE DISTRIBUTION

THE TURKISH DIPLOMATS PRESENT CHARMING NOISE UNVEIL THEIR REVIEW OF “THE 18 BRONZE GIRLS OF SHAOLIN” — THE MOVIE YOU DIDN’T KNOW YOU NEEDED (OR FEARED). Forget logic. Forget physics. Forget knowing what’s happening half the time. The 18 Bronze Girls of Shaolin is here, and your devoted crew at Charming Noise are dragging it into the podcast spotlight whether the world is ready or not. This legendary slice of Kung Fu cinema from the deep, dusty corners of the genre vault features Shaolin martial arts, ancient temples, bronze-coated heroines, and a plot so twisty, it could double as a pretzel. The fighting? Epic. The acting? Let’s just say… bless their hearts. Our mission: To suffer gloriously through these cinematic oddities so you don’t have to — but we won’t judge if you track this one down for the chaos. Dive into our breakdown of The 18 Bronze Girls of Shaolin in the latest episode of The Turkish Diplomats Present Charming Noise. Follow the madness, join the Facebook community, and celebrate bad movies done beautifully wrong. Available wherever podcasts hide — Spotify, Apple, iHeartRadio, YouTube — we’re there, regretting life choices so you can laugh at them.

Your favorite gentlemen of B-movie distinction, The Turkish Diplomats. a.k.a. Tom, Calvin, and Paul, are back with a true classic of the drive-in genre, 1961's Mothra. The boys defend this movie as the greatest of the Toho monster movies, and it is arguably one of the greatest monster movies of all time. It is also one of the weirdest, mostly thanks to the singing miniature twin sisters that you will never forget. The special effects and attention to detail were absolutely amazing, thanks to partial bankrolling by Columbia Pictures. The plot? Seriously, that's your concern? What does it matter when you have a larvae the size of Tokyo tower! Dialogue? Yes, it has that, but why do you care when moth starts destroying major world capitals? In any case, you can't miss this episode.

No man stands so tall as when he is walking and carrying some wood. And speaking of wood, would you believe the boys have posted a new episode? Tom, Calvin and Paul talk about one of, if not the king of drive-in movies, the 1973 classic "Walking Tall," starring Joe Don Baker as the legendary (and after we recorded, newly alleged murderer) Buford Pusser. This has so many staples of the drive-in scene in the seventies...rednecks, murder, sticks, hookers, moonshine. The boys do their level best to explain the significance of this classic and what it did for B-movies and drive-in culture.

We invite you to listen, and you can catch and subscribe to us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and other fine podcast resources to find this and many other insightful, mature commentaries by old men going through their second or third childhoods, at least. By the way, check out our website, www.turkishdiplomats.com.

Finally, the boys bring you a new Episode! This time it's the 1974 drive-in hit, "Macon County Line," which once you see it, you'll say, "Well...it was 1974." This hicksploitation classic has everything you want in a drive-in movie, and quite a few minutes of stuff you don't. Jethro Bodine himself, Max Baer, Jr., is the Sheriff in Macon County, and he's also the co-writer of the movie. I won't tell you much before you listen to the episode or see the film, but know it's not going to be an animated Disney classic anytime soon. Several recognizable character actors are in the movie, including the great Geoffrey Lewis. The boys talk about all this, and how it wasn't quite what they thought it would be.

The Turkish Diplomats are back, but this time it's a double feature! It's two movies in one show, so you know the time mismanagement is strong with this one. First up, Tom, Calvin, and Paul tackle the 1976 Ron Howard vehicle (literally) called "Eat My Dust," followed by the 1971 Florida monster flick no one can spell called "ZAAT." Our first movie is about a kid who steals a race car, angers his dad who is also the county sheriff, nearly murders a couple of dozen spectators, and somehow evades dozens of police and prison. The second movie is about how a really bitter scientist with an apparent fish fetish transforms himself into a monster, murders rivals and anyone else in his way, kidnaps beautiful sunbathers to make his own seafood spouse, and creates a Superfund site in the middle of the Florida wetlands. Both are bad, but in their own way, and the boys try to make sense of all this for you, dear listeners.

As always, this show is available on most of the finest podcast platforms, and also available on the Turkish Diplomats channel on YouTube.

The Turkish Diplomats are back, and we have reviewed a movie to create what can be described as audio! Only Tom, Calvin, and Paul love you enough to review movies out of any semblance of order, so this episode is on the movie "The Big Doll House," another women's prison escape movie set in the Phillipines. This came out a couple of years before "Black Mama, White Mama" which was also directed by Jack Hill, and also starred Pam Grier and Sid Haig. The difference between the two is, unfortunately, that they made a far better movie with their next outing. Still, there's shootouts, violence, torture, inappropriate sexual overtones, drugs, and humidity, and it just gets better from there!

Remember, we are on all the big services, like Apple Podcasts, Spotify, TuneIn, and even YouTube (and a couple of others that slip my mind). Don't forget to check out our Facebook page and our website for all things Turkish Diplomattilicious.

Greetings! The boys from Charming Noise are back with a movie that is both terrifying and cringe-inducing. We could only be describing "I Dismember Mama" from 1972, also known as "Poor Albert & Little Annie." Albert has, let's call them issues, and ends up institutionalized just because he tried matricide once. Unfortunately, therapy has not helped much, and he escapes and heads home to finish off mama. She's not there, but...well, it gets bad. It's got murders, sure, and then a long section where he grooms one of his victim's daughters. That's right, you do not want to see this movie. But we have, and are willing to convey our displeasure with hilarity and a bit of therapy.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE – AND POSSIBLY PAROLE The Turkish Diplomats Present: Charming Noise Next Episode – “Black Mama, White Mama”: Pam Grier, Chains, and Mid-Jungle Mayhem

Hold onto your polyester, kids—because the Turkish Diplomats are back, and this time we’re handcuffed to 1973’s Black Mama White Mama, a film that asks the timeless question: “What if The Defiant Ones had more cleavage, a flamethrower, and a funk soundtrack?” Starring the indestructible Pam Grier and her very sweaty co-star Margaret Markov, this explosive romp through revolution, bathhouse brawls, and jungle justice gets the full diplomatic treatment in our next Charming Noise episode. It’s social commentary with a side of gunfire, smuggled cash, and an evil nun who probably missed her calling in Bond villainy. Coming soon to Podbean, Spotify, Apple, iHeartRadio, and anywhere fine podcasts flee the authorities. Subscribe now, or risk solitary confinement with nothing but a VHS copy and no tracking button.