Send us a text

Still deported to Cozumel, our hosts take a test that, if passed, will get them back into the US. The problem is our hosts are very bad testees...wait...so to get ready they prepared with practice tests and decided to take the test live on the podcast. Thrill to their efforts to peer into the dark recesses and open sewer lines of the minds who create situations like this, and tests like this. Steve spent the rest of the day working out on the boxing speed bag. Jeff made a series of weekly appointments with Dr. Brian. Johnny wishes he had his ICE mask back.

Steve - Steve

Jeff - Jeff

Johnny - Punchinello

"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra

#satire #comedy #politicalsatire #improv #tests #testes #testtakers #MAGA #ICE #nokings #DC #Chicago #Montreal #supremecourt #scotus #constitution #popovvodka #popov #vodka

Send us a text

Sure, Halloween is over. But don't you want to get a jump on what the trends will be for next year? We hope so, because the studio never got our hosts' tape this week from their deportation camp. So here is an encore presentation of the best in Halloween wear.

Steve and Jeff welcome back the delightful fashion influencer Chrysanthemum for a look at what is hot in Halloween costumes for this year. She lets us all know that the prevailing theme for this year is "slutty," and all other themes revolve aroud it. Chrysanthemum's grandmother makes a surprise visit and brings valuable knowledge that only a few will understand. Steve spent the show looking at photos of a 1965 Chevy Impala. Right after the show Jeff booked two appointments a week for the next year with his dentist. Johnny is oddly happy watching them drill finger holes in a bowling ball. Miss Clare is practicing her nun chucks.

Chrysanthemum/ Grandma - Natalie Osborne (natalie-osborn.com) (Insta, TikTok and YouTube as @nataliemosborne)
Steve - Steve
Jeff - Jeff
Miss Clare - Clare
Johnny - Dr. Richard Slutsky
"Chase" from "Midnight Express" written and performed by Giorgio Moroder

#podcast #comedy #comedypodcast #improv #improvisation #comedyimprov #sketch #funny #Halloween #Halloweencostumes #slutty #sluttydoctor #sluttydentist #sluttyobgyn #catlady #couch #1965impala #eyeswideshut #sluttycostumes #comcast #verizon #harney #harneyhotel

Send us a text

Still at their deportation site (the Cozumel Hilton Resort and Deportation Center), our hosts talk about the rapid-fire revenge tour indictments coming out of the White House faster than Epstein denials. Steve's Uncle Sal's Rogers Park sports book hasn't been this active since the 2003 playoffs, and don't ever ask him about that one. Our hosts discuss the newest indictments and the substantial non-evidence behind them. Steve resorts to song lyrics again. Jeff wishes Taco Tuesday could last all week. Johnny takes pepper spray target practice.

Steve - Steve

Jeff - Jeff

Johnny - Isbrand Tushar

"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra

#satire #politicalsatire #ICE #deportation #jdvance #mismivice #floridaman #antifa #trans #dragshow #weaponized #weaponizeddoj #doj #tang #uranus #revengetour #marytrump #huberthumphrey #surrenderedpress #tearsforfears #mlkday #king #pambondi #obama #bush #wbush #W #georgebush #scotus #supremecourt #theapprentice #emmyaward

Send us a text

Our hosts kick off season 4 from their new and hopefully temporary location, a deportation camp in Mexico. For once they found the silver lining though, because through a clerical error they wound up being deported to the Hilton Cozumel resort. I could tell you what the clerical error was, but you really should listen to the show and find out, and you should be ashamed of yourself for trying to find out without listening. Our hosts have made many friends among fellow deportees and recount the stories they've heard over a Don Julio Reposado or two. Jeff is still at his massage appointment. Steve may never go swimming again. Johnny is still with ICE and is waiting outside a Chicago church for Mass to end so he can arrest a few grandmothers who he swears are with MS-13, or have MS, or something, or maybe nothing at all.

Steve - Steve

Jeff - Jeff

"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra

#podcast #satire #politicalsatire #nokings #protest #nokingsday #deportation #ICE #kristinoem #chuckschumer #tedcruz #loumalnati #italian #polish #chinese #pfchang #mongolian #comedy #aryan #aryannation #nuremberg

Send us a text

As season 3 winds down, and before season 4 starts next week, our hosts are informed that they must prove themselves to be REAL Americans in order to stay on the air, in the country, and on the planet. Conveniently, Johnny signed up with ICE, so he was deputized to administer the questions to see just how real our hosts are. We don't know the results yet, but I hear they both signed up for lessons in Spanish and Arabic, just in case. Play along at home and see whether you, too, may want to consider your options. Steve looks at cheerleader photos. Jeff wonders if he could host his own quiz show. Johnny looks for a spot he's allowed to eat lunch. Miss Clare was nowhere to be seen, but she did get a message from Kristi Noem.

Steve - Steve

Jeff - Jeff

Johnny - Franz Rolfe

"Lollipops and Roses" written by Tony Velona and performed by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass

#satire #comedy #politicalsatire #ICE #MAGA #kashpatel #pettycash #epstein #scam #nokings #antifa #anti-fascist #soros #kristinoem #pambondi #deportation #realamerican #USA #gameshow #chicago #illinois #pritzker

Send us a text

They say true love conquers all, and just to prove it may be true occasionally, our hosts invite newlyweds Larry and Maria Milder to discuss their military deployments to American cities. See, Larry is with ICE and Maria is with the National Guard. One day a chance deportation put these two lovebirds together, and they share that love on this episode. I mean, not literally. Jeff considers a new cockfighting side gig. Steve decides to call his cousin Marci for some extra cash. Miss Clare mysteriously vanished with all of our hosts' passports and IDs. Johnny wonders how he would look in a mask.

Maria - Kate Wiig

Larry - Chris Wiig

Steve - Steve

Jeff - Jeff

Miss Clare - Clare

Johnny - Curtis Peter

"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra.

#satire #comedy #politicalsatire #ICE #nationalguard #deportation #stephenmiller #weaponization #mexican #newmexico #deancain #raid #immigration #immigrant #democratcities #robschneider #portland #chicago #memphis #pillen #omaha #nebraska

Send us a text

With our king's stunning return engagement in the UK, our hosts decided it was time to revisit an earlier show discussing his earlier visit. Jeff's wife Kathy loves podcasts--not this podcast, no, podcasts about the British Royal Family gossip. Steve and Jeff thought that since we now have our own king, it was time to invite onto the show someone who hosts a podcast about American Royal Family gossip. Ms. Stacy Blank, host of the hot podcast "A Royal Scam," (not the Steely Dan album) told us all kinds of goodies about our new king's family. Let's just say golf is in for some surprises. Steve hosts a meeting on Signal about shoe sizes and invited all kinds of people. Jeff is being fitted for a crown, and no dentist is involved. Miss Clare is selling a royal line of kneepads--DC just can't get enough of them. Johnny is talking to Steve's mom's neighbor over the back fence.

Stacy Blank - Tracie Mauk

Steve - Steve

Jeff - Jeff

Miss Clare - Clare

Johnny - Tommy Paine

"Holiday for Strings" written by David Rose and performed by David Rose and his Orchestra

#satire #political #nokings #trump #rapture #royals #kingcharles #scam #jimmykimmel #tylenol #london #mayorkhan #nationalguard #jamescomey #indictment #weaponizeddoj #jdvance #lindseygraham #dollyparton #princessdiana #comedy #gossip #tigerwoods #golf

Send us a text

Not only were our hosts simulated on an interview show they don't remember doing, but they learned that their show had been scammed by season after season of fake guests. Oh, they were real guests, they just weren't really who...well, if you listen to the episode you'll get it. Their cynicism melted just enough to bring on the host of the podcast they were (allegedly) interviewed on. The show is called I Have to Ask with Elizabeth Hess, or something like that, and Ms. Hess helped our hosts learn how to interview real people, should there be any. Steve's thinking of buying an electric car. Jeff is studying for his IQ test retake. Miss Clare is angry that nobody cut her in on the scams. Johnny developed a sudden interest in estate planning and robotic intelligence.

Elizabeth Hess - Elizabeth Hess

Steve - Steve

Jeff - Jeff

Miss Clare - Clare

Johnny - Hal Data

Jimmy Kimmel - (Scenes deleted)

Sanford and Son Theme Song ("The Streetbeater") written and performed by Quincy Jones

#humor #satire #comedy #sex #gasprices #stevemartin #martinshort #martini #stevejobs #kuntsler #sanfordandson #suits #queenelizabeth #AI #fake #fakenews #fakeinterviews #stephencolbert