Sometimes you just need to unburden yourself… and apparently, this week, the burden is men.

In this episode of The Soft Parts, Nik and Nhi are letting it ALL out, from dating pet peeves and terrible hygiene to men who can’t make plans, don’t listen, offer unsolicited advice, lack emotional awareness, and somehow still expect women to do all the emotional heavy lifting.

What starts as a much-needed rant quickly turns into a bigger conversation about effort, consideration, accountability, entitlement, cheating, emotional intelligence, and why the current dating climate can feel so damn exhausting.

There are stories. Of course, there are strong opinions. There is a rogue toenail. And somewhere along the way, we have to ask: are women really asking for too much… or are we just tired of asking for the bare minimum?

Not all men, but, as we say in this episode, somehow it’s always a man.

Come laugh, vent, and unpack it with us.

Haiti has survived revolution, exploitation, foreign intervention, political instability, devastating natural disasters, and generations of being asked to rebuild again and again. But Haiti is more than what has happened to it.

In this episode, Nik and Nhi reflect on the recent gang attack in Kenscoff, the end of Temporary Protected Status for hundreds of thousands of Haitians in the U.S., and the complicated experience of watching your home country hurt from afar.

Nik also looks back at Haiti’s history, from the revolution that created the world’s first independent Black republic to the debt imposed by France, foreign occupation, the 2010 earthquake, and the crises that followed, and wrestles with what it means to continually describe Haitians as “resilient.” Because resilience can be a source of pride. But how many times should a people be expected to prove that they can survive?

This is a conversation about grief, diaspora, identity, compassion without pity, and refusing to let tragedy become the entirety of Haiti’s story.

To Haitians at home and across the diaspora: we see you.

What does it actually mean for a society to protect women, and why does that protection so often seem conditional?

Nik and Nhi begin with discussing a TikTok video of a woman documenting her pregnancy in South Korea, where expectant mothers can receive government-supported benefits and accommodations. That leads to a bigger question: if societies are willing to invest in women once they become pregnant, what are they doing to make women feel safe, supported, and autonomous before motherhood, or whether they become mothers at all?

Using South Korea’s 4B Movement as a starting point, the conversation expands across cultures and systems. Nik and Nhi discuss gender-based violence, cultural expectations around marriage and motherhood, sexual assault and the justice system, abortion and reproductive autonomy, and the ways women navigate safety in countries including South Korea, Vietnam, Haiti, and the United States.

They also explore anger, accountability, and what justice can mean when institutions fail, and turn toward healthcare to examine the responsibility providers carry when caring for people at their most vulnerable.

At the center of the conversation is one question: Do our systems actually value women, or only certain roles women are expected to fill?

Content note: This episode includes discussion of sexual assault, child sexual abuse, gender-based violence, abortion, reproductive rights, and mental-health crises.

Resources & References

Books

• Pedagogy of the Oppressed by Paulo Freire
• Reproductive Justice: An Introduction by Loretta Ross and Rickie Solinger.
• Hood Feminism by Mikki Kendall
• Entitled: How Male Privilege Hurts Women by Kate Manne
• Killing the Black Body by Dorothy Roberts

Podcasts/Further Listening

• The Briefing- The 4B Movement is going viral...What is it? episode.
• Throughline "After Roe: A New Battlefield" Episode.
• Looking Back, Moving Forward "Inside the Feminist Fight to Reclaim Our Reproductive Freedom" Episode.

Website Links

• UN Women — Global Database on Violence Against Women and Girls
• World Health Organization — Violence Against Women
• SisterSong — Reproductive Justice

What if you could know whether you and your partner carried genetic risks that could affect your future child before having children? Would you want to know and what would you do with that information?

In Episode 8 of The Soft Parts, we start with a question about genetic compatibility and end up somewhere much bigger: What does it actually mean to choose parenthood responsibly?

We unpack genetic testing, disability, reproductive choice, abortion, designer babies, eugenics, and the ethical line between having more information and trying to control exactly who a child becomes. The conversation also turns toward dating with intention, choosing a compatible partner, physical versus emotional safety, cultural expectations around relationships, and the responsibilities parents take on long before a child is ever born.

At the center of it all is one uncomfortable question: Does the ability to reproduce mean you should?

As always, there are tangents, disagreements, questionable analogies involving asthmatic lions, and plenty of opinions we refuse to soften.

What does it mean to become the person your younger self dreamed of? Someone you're proud of?

In this episode, Nik and Nhi reflect on the people they've become, the versions of themselves they've had to leave behind, and the experiences that shaped who they are today. From moving across the country and finding independence to navigating relationships, family expectations, and cultural identity, they explore how growth often requires uncomfortable conversations, stronger boundaries, and the courage to stop making yourself smaller for the comfort of others.

This is a conversation about choosing authenticity over approval, learning to trust yourself, and discovering that the right people won't ask you to become less of who you are.

Growth isn't always about becoming someone entirely new, sometimes it's about allowing yourself to become who you were always meant to be.

Whether you're navigating adulthood, redefining relationships, or simply wondering who you're becoming, this episode is a reminder that growth isn't about becoming someone new, it's about finally becoming yourself.

Resources:

Books

• The Gifts of Imperfection — Brené Brown
• Set Boundaries, Find Peace — Nedra Glover Tawwab
• Attached — Amir Levine & Rachel Heller

🎙️ Continue the Conversation

• Episode 3: Chosen Family, Real Friendships
• Episode 5: Children Deserve More Than the Bare Minimum

Bigfoot is minding his business. The Earth is round. But some institutions have given us very valid reasons to ask, “Now what the hell is going on here?”

In this episode, we tumble headfirst into the rabbit hole of conspiracy theories. We start with a suspicious soccer match and somehow make our way through hidden cancer cures, Big Pharma, cannabis criminalization, prison labor, vaccines and autism, flat-earthers, the Tuskegee Syphilis Study, MKUltra, torture, the human capacity for evil, porn, political hypocrisy, Lindsey Graham’s alleged extracurricular activities, and whether everyone deserves a second chance.

You know, just a little light conversation.

Along the way, we explore why mysteries feel so satisfying, why problem-solving can become addictive, and why some people would rather keep digging than accept the official explanation. We also ask what happens when suspicion is not born from nowhere. Because while some conspiracy theories fall apart the second you introduce gravity or basic evidence, history has also shown us that governments and powerful institutions have lied, experimented on people, withheld treatment, protected profits, and caused real harm.

We disagree about whether humans are inherently evil or simply capable of doing evil things, discuss the difference between healthy skepticism and becoming completely detached from reality, and call out the very special kind of hypocrisy that comes from publicly condemning what you privately consume.

As always, we’re unscripted, unapologetic, occasionally unhinged, and full of opinions we are more than willing to be challenged on. Come down the rabbit hole with us, but please bring evidence. And maybe snacks.

Then tell us: What conspiracy theory do you believe has more truth to it than people admit, and what evidence, if any, could change your mind?

Follow us on our socials. Listen, share, and join the conversation at NikandNhi.art.

Want to Learn More? Start Here.

• The U.S. Public Health Service Untreated Syphilis Study at Tuskegee — CDC

• Project MKUltra — CIA Reading Room

• Vaccines and Autism — World Health Organization

• Is the Earth Round? — NOAA

• Mass Incarceration: The Whole Pie 2026 — Prison Policy Initiative

Food, clothing, and a roof over a child’s head are necessary, but parenting asks for more than simply keeping a child alive. Children also need emotional safety, guidance, discipline, protection, opportunity, and adults who are willing to examine what they may be passing down.

In this episode, we have an honest and passionate conversation about the responsibility that comes with raising children. Drawing from Nik’s experiences as a therapist and Nhi’s experience helping care for and raise the children who came after her, we reflect on how parenting choices can shape a person’s identity, relationships, emotional well-being, and understanding of the world.

We explore generational trauma, financial and emotional readiness for parenthood, the difference between discipline and punishment, and the ways religion, culture, family expectations, and personal values are passed from one generation to the next. We also discuss foster care, adoption, bodily autonomy, and the difficult ethical questions that arise when we consider what children deserve, and what society owes them.

This conversation also turns toward adult children and the expectations placed on them. Does providing the basic necessities entitle a parent to lifelong loyalty, forgiveness, access, or care? And what happens when the people responsible for protecting a child are also the ones who caused the harm?

Neither of us has children of our own, and we are not claiming to have every answer. But we both believe that bringing a child into the world carries an enormous responsibility, and that children deserve more than survival.

We’d love to hear your thoughts. Join the conversation at nikandnhi.art and let us know:

Which part of parenting do you think people underestimate most?

We'd love to hear your thoughts!