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“Gift in a Box” is the episode where we unwrap the good, the bad, and the aggressively lazy side of gift giving 🎁

What actually makes a gift good? We’re talking effort, intention, and knowing your person… not panic-buying a last-minute candle or defaulting to a Starbucks gift card (Shelley has very strong feelings about that… and a very specific place she suggests you put it).

We get into our husbands’ gifting track records, the hits, the misses, and the “did you even try?” moments. Plus, we spill on some of the rudest, most questionable gifts we’ve ever received.

And then… one of the Shit Apples gets a surprise that is in a league of its own. Elite. Life-altering. You’ll have to listen to find out what it is 👀

Tap in now and come judge everyone’s gift-giving skills with us.

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Welcome to the most wildly entertaining world-building exercise you didn’t know you needed. In this episode, we crown ourselves the slightly unwell, highly opinionated dictators of our own fictional country… and the laws? Immediate madness with a sprinkle of common sense.

We’re talking strict enforcement of turn signals (miss one and say goodbye to that little finger 👋), relocating the Super Bowl to Saturdays where it belongs, and officially moving Halloween to the last Saturday of October so it always falls on a weekend. Public displays of affection? Absolutely not. Keep it moving. And while beauty is required (sorry, we didn’t make the rules… wait, we did), filters and catfishing are banned. If you’re gonna serve face, it better be your actual face.

Meanwhile, Shelley reveals she may already be living her dictator fantasy, considering her water glass never stays empty and her “citizens” somehow know when to refill it without being asked. Coincidence? We think not.

It’s petty. It’s aggressive. It’s wildly unrealistic. And honestly… some of these laws might improve society.

Tune in and find out if you’d survive in our country or get exiled immediately.

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Somewhere between the airport security line and the gas pump, society quietly agreed on a set of unspoken rules… and yet, here we are. This week, we’re unpacking the chaos of people acting like they just arrived on Earth five minutes ago. Shoes off at TSA? A mystery. Credit card at the ready in the checkout line? Revolutionary concept. Pumping gas without a full-blown identity crisis? Apparently too much to ask.

We spiral into the everyday moments that make you question everything, from the slow-motion shuffle of unprepared shoppers to kids suddenly “on their deathbed” when it’s time for school. (Spoiler: unless you’re actively fading into the light, you’re going.)

It’s a mix of petty grievances, relatable rants, and the kind of brutally honest commentary that lives rent-free in your head but maybe shouldn’t leave your mouth… except here, it absolutely does.

Press play, feel seen, and for the love of all things efficient… don’t act brand new.

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Dirty Little Brains 🧠✨

Welcome to the group chat inside your head… the one that should absolutely never be shared out loud. This episode is all about those thoughts that pop in uninvited and really should’ve stayed put. You know the ones—judging a meal someone made for you while smiling politely, imagining completely unhinged “what if” scenarios, or mentally playing out alternate lives with people you definitely shouldn’t be picturing yourself with.

We go there. All the way there.

From intrusive thoughts that make you question yourself, to wondering what people look like naked—and not the hot ones, the oddly shaped ones your brain had no business picturing—we’re saying everything you’re thinking but would never admit. It’s chaotic, it’s inappropriate, and it’s way too honest.

At the end of the day, some thoughts are meant to stay locked in your brain… but unfortunately for everyone, we brought ours to the mic. 🎙️

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This week on The Shit Apple Podcast, we’re sharing our personal “pro tips”—the life hacks we’ve picked up through experience, trial and error, and a little bit of chaos. From why you should never assume someone is pregnant, to our belief that most problems can be solved with water or sleep, we cover the practical, the petty, and the slightly questionable. We also get into getting what you want (even when your spouse says no), avoiding things you don’t want to do, and why you should stop saving things for “someday” and just use them now. It’s equal parts real-life advice and laugh-out-loud moments… take what you need and leave the rest.

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We’re back in the studio and immediately choosing chaos. This episode is all about the little things people do on purpose just to watch someone lose their mind… and apparently everyone in our lives knows exactly which buttons to push.

Shelley gets rage-baited at the dentist when someone tells her her designer bag looks like it came from TJ Maxx. No poo spray in the bathroom? Mirrors may not survive. She does NOT believe in seven years bad luck, so don’t test her.

Also on the list of crimes:

cutting baked goods the wrong direction to steal the best piece, taking the end corner of the lasagna, eating all the pie crust off the pie, baby-talking to someone who is already mad, or chewing on ice on purpose just to watch your spouse spiral. Yes… some people live for the reaction.

We also get into the art of funny rage bait — like telling someone “eyes up here” when they weren’t even looking, talking to people while staring at your phone, or doing that one thing you KNOW will set them off.

If you’ve ever been rage baited, rage baited someone else, or married someone who does it for sport… this episode is for you.

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This week we’re getting Mixed Up with Jason Asher. 🍸

Jason is one of the most creative minds in the cocktail world and a Phoenix hospitality veteran with more than two decades in the industry. After studying culinary arts and building a reputation for bold, technique-driven cocktails, he went on to help create some of the Valley’s most immersive bar concepts and has been recognized nationally for his innovative approach to mixology.

In this episode we talk about where Jason’s from, how culinary school shaped his path, and how he turned cocktails into “cocktail theatre” — creating drinks that are as much about experience and storytelling as they are about flavor.

We also get into what’s next for him, including his upcoming concept Hornbill, a modern Southeast Asian–inspired cocktail lounge featuring dim sum-style dishes and inventive cocktails. The new spot is set to open at Indian School and 36th Street, bringing flavors and inspiration from places like Singapore’s vibrant cocktail scene!!

Grab a drink and join us as we get a little mixed up with Jason Asher.

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Some people wake up ready for the day. We wake up already side-eyeing it.

This week we explore the fine art of being pre-annoyed… irritated in advance, bothered before the bother, emotionally buffering before the Wi-Fi even drops.

Why does the sound of the garage door trigger a full internal monologue?

Why does “I’m hungry” land like a personal accusation?

Why do people say, “I gotta question…” and then pause like they’re building suspense for a Netflix docuseries? Just ask it. Rip the Band-Aid.

We also unpack:The aggressive “…or?” follow-up like we missed an invisible option.

• People who confidently narrate your life back to you.
• Line crowders who believe breathing on your neck builds community.
• And Diana declaring 7 PM dinner plans legally late. Seven. PM. The sun is still clocked in.

It’s petty psychology. It’s household chaos. It’s three women admitting we sometimes live in a constant state of pre-irritation for absolutely no reason… and also for very valid reasons.

If you’ve ever been annoyed before anything technically happened, this one’s for you.

Listen now, rate, review, follow, and send it to the person who says “I gotta question…” and then forgets it mid-sentence.