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Apples Love Summa ☀️🍹

It’s our last episode before we disappear into summer mode, and what better way to send ourselves off than with a little vacation chaos? Inspired by our favorite quote from The Real Housewives of Rhode Island, we’re talking summer plans, family vacations, and the questionable decisions that happen when 14 people travel together.

We break down the matching family T-shirts nobody will actually wear, reveal our summer shoe trend predictions (welcome back, wedges), and share the vacation essentials we refuse to leave home without. From heating pads and AirTags to chapstick and good coffee, our packing priorities say a lot about who we are.

Then we play a round of Most Likely To, exposing which Shit Apple is most likely to miss a flight, overpack, lose everything, get hopelessly lost, or turn a random family moment into podcast material.

Will we return from our East Coast adventures with funny stories, intact friendships, and all of our luggage? Only time will tell.

Grab your thong sandals, book the trip, and remember: bitches and apples love summa. 🌴✈️ 🍎

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Ever get invited somewhere and immediately start looking for a way out? Same.

This week, we’re sharing all the reasons we’d rather stay home than say yes. From boring parties, bad food, expensive sporting events, acoustic guitar performances nobody asked for, and splitting the dinner bill when you only had two beers, nothing is off limits.

We’re talking invitation deal-breakers, travel pet peeves, social obligations, group gifts, book clubs, wine nights, and the very specific conditions required for our attendance. Spoiler alert: there better be good food.

Before you send that invite, you might want to listen first.

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Apple Logic 101 🍎

Welcome to Apple Logic 101, where we expose all the irrational thoughts, unnecessary anxieties, and oddly specific pet peeves that make perfect sense… at least in our heads.

This week, we’re diving into the things that instantly send us into a silent spiral: making sure everyone gets an equal number of oysters, calculating dip-to-person ratios like we’re solving advanced algebra, and wondering why people who “aren’t that hungry” always end up eating half the table.

We also discuss the panic of double dippers, self-appointed rule enforcers in public, people who park themselves right next to you at the gym despite 47 open machines, and the race to beat strangers to the return line before they unload their entire trunk.

Tiffany shares her ongoing battle with the relentless TJ Maxx credit card pitch, her frozen yogurt sample scandal, and why somehow all the exciting drama happens exactly 10 minutes after she leaves an event.

Plus, we tackle the Irish Goodbye, the horror of being compared to people you don’t even like, and other completely ridiculous things that somehow live rent-free in our brains.

If you’ve ever found yourself mentally dividing appetizers, judging line strategy, or getting irrationally annoyed by something that shouldn’t matter, congratulations… you may already have a degree in Apple Logic.