The Self-Absorbed

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The Self-Absorbed

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SHOW NOTES: Signs of the self-centered: •Every conversation is turned back to themselves. •They pause to discuss the play in the middle of the theater exits. •They stop to look around at the bottom of descending escalators. •They never signal for a turn or lane change. •They will wear a hat in any seating arrangement, not caring if others can't see. •They talk over you. •They make noises in public when they yawn, stretch, or belch. •They start sentences with, "Let me explain to you...." •The constantly exaggerate, "I have the best doctors in the world," "We had the best meal imaginable," "My blood pressure is perfect." •They turn to talk to someone else while a person is in the middle of a story. •They will spoil the punch line of someone else's joke. •They inflate experiences: "This had to be at least a two-star Michelin restaurant" (it actually had no stars). •They never discuss or converse, they lecture. •They don't have the most expensive car in the lot because "they really didn't want it." •If they can't have something that others have, they deride it: "Coach gets there the same time as first class," or "Your kid was accepted into Cornell? I assume that was her backup school?" •They ask people to come to the bar to have a drink, but once a crowd has developed and before the bill is presented, they disappear. •Everything their kids do is "gifted": "Did you see how he blocked the ball with his head? That's a gifted move." •They point out that great success of others are basically from luck, or connections, or sexual favors granted. •They constantly critique the government, but don't bother to vote.

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