Welcome to The Paradox of Change - your couples therapy and relationship advice channel hosted by three experienced therapists. We believe there has to be an I before We.

Struggling with trust issues, affair recovery, sexual rejection, or intimacy problems? Whether you're dealing with a sexless marriage, low libido, or rejection sensitivity - we help you build a stronger relationship with yourself first, so you can create healthier connections with others.

What You'll Get:
- Expert couples therapy insights from practicing therapists
- Self improvement strategies for personal growth and emotional intelligence
- Real talk about boundaries, attachment styles, and relationship problems
- Practical psychology tools for intimacy issues and emotional intimacy
- Honest discussions about sexual intimacy and healing

In this interview, you’ll learn:
How to Stop Trying to “Fix” Your Partner
How to Recognize the Real Issue Beneath the Argument
How to Make Conflict a Source of Connection
How to Move from Blame to Responsibility
How to Stay Grounded When Your Values Clash
How to Build a Relationship That Grows with You

Hosted by Lottie Parker (Sex & Intimacy Specialist), Elliot Burgess, and Clair Law - therapists who understand that healing starts within.

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Lottie Passell-Syms and Natalie Wanner explore the complexities of OPEN relationships, communication, and intimacy. They discuss the impact of past trauma on current relationships, the dynamics of low desire, and the importance of accountability and radical acceptance in navigating intimacy. You may like this episode https://youtu.be/AC08xbGuadU

The conversation emphasises the need for open dialogue about the intimate act and intimacy, the challenges of celibacy, and the significance of understanding one's own needs and desires within a relationship. They also touch on the evolving definitions of marriage and the necessity of intimacy for growth in any relationship. In this conversation, Lottie Passell-Syms and Natalie explore the complexities of relationships, particularly focusing on open relationships, boundaries, communication, and the importance of maintaining individuality. They discuss the significance of the intimate actin sustaining connection, the impact of trauma, and the necessity of curiosity over blame in communication. The dialogue emphasizes the need for clear boundaries, the role of self-identity, and the importance of seeking intervention when necessary. Ultimately, they advocate for a relationship design that allows for personal growth and mutual support.

Takeaways
Open relationships can provide new perspectives on intimacy.
Miscommunication is a major barrier in relationships.
Understanding past trauma is crucial for healthy intimacy.
Low desire often stems from a lack of effort in relationships.
The intimate act should not be a taboo topic in relationships.
Radical acceptance can help individuals cope with celibacy.


Natalies Links
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@nataliewanner5196/videos
- Natalies Book: Crazy in the inside: https://www.amazon.com/Crazy-Inside-Memoir-Nobody-Special/dp/1701860201
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/reel/1425685391886010
- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/discover/natalie-wanner-openmarried
- IG: https://www.instagram.com/nataliewanner_/?hl=en

POC Links: https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange

Chapters
00:00 Building a YouTube Presence
01:14 Natalie's Background and Open Marriage
05:16 Communication in Relationships
10:07 Desire and Effort in Relationships
14:46 Navigating intimate Health and Boundaries
19:43 Radical Acceptance and Personal Responsibility
23:52 Navigating Intimacy and Compassion in Relationships
25:50 The Importance of Liking Your Partner
27:52 Redefining Marriage: Compatibility vs. Alignment
30:19 Open Relationships: Contracts and Communication
32:20 The Role of Family in Marriage Dynamics
33:58 Boundaries and Transparency in Non-Monogamous Relationships
36:04 Creating a Relationship by Design
38:04 The Impact of COVID on Relationship Dynamics
40:11 Reigniting Passion and Intimacy
45:03 The Role of intimacy in Sustaining Connection
49:37 Rediscovering Individual Identity in Relationships
50:25 Questioning Life Choices
51:31 Community and Collective Growth
52:45 Self-Discovery and Personal Growth
54:48 Navigating Relationships and Support
57:08 Addressing Intimacy Issues
58:21 Communication and Trust in Relationships
01:00:38 The Impact of Comfort on Relationships

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📲 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparadoxofchange/
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Monogamy is a contract: friendship, intimacy and sex. When one stops, that contract gets broken. So what makes it acceptable to opt out of intimacy with your partner? In this raw and honest conversation, Elliot and Lottie Passell-Syms explore the grief, loss and identity crisis that follows when sex disappears from a relationship, and ask the difficult question: should you give him sex?

This episode delves into the complexities of desire, power dynamics and the real reasons couples stop connecting physically. We discuss why women often lose desire first, what men are actually asking for when they initiate sex, and how refusing intimacy can become a weapon that erodes the foundation of your relationship.

Drawing on insights from relationship experts including Esther Perel's work on attachment models and David Snarch's concepts of heart-syncing connection, we explore how our relationship patterns shift depending on who we're with, and why understanding these dynamics is crucial for maintaining intimacy.

What You'll Learn:

• Why communication is the foundation of intimacy, not just sex • The devastating impact of withholding sex for months or years • What men really want when they ask for sex (it's not what you think) • How vulnerability and emotional connection fuel physical intimacy • The role of power and control in sexual refusal • Why "just have a few drinks and have sex" advice destroys relationships • Practical exercises to rebuild intimacy, starting with the Yab Yum pose • How family of origin patterns shape your sexual dynamics • The biological and emotional benefits of regular intimacy.

Chapters:

00:00 Understanding Desire and Intimacy

03:13 The Impact of Withholding Sex

05:58 Men's Perspectives on Sex and Vulnerability

09:00 Communication as the Foundation of Intimacy

11:50 Negotiating Sexual Dynamics in Relationships

15:01 The Role of Power in Withholding Sex

17:52 Rebuilding Intimacy Through Connection

21:11 Practical Exercises for Couples: The Yab Yum Pose

23:59 The Complexity of Relationships and Personal Growth

About Our Guest:

Lottie Passell-Syms is a psychosexual and relationship therapist qualified in CBT and hypnotherapy. She specializes in relationship difficulties, stress, anxiety, intimacy and infidelity recovery, helping couples navigate the most challenging aspects of their partnerships.

Key Takeaways:

"Monogamy is a contract: friendship, intimacy and sex. When one stops, that contract gets broken."

"Choose your choices. You're not single. You chose this relationship."

"Sex is good for us: brain, body and soul. The oxytocin lasts for 14 days. Why are we wasting it?"

If you're in a relationship where intimacy has disappeared, this episode offers honest insights and practical tools to rebuild connection. The work requires effort, vulnerability and a willingness to hold up the mirror and ask yourself: why am I opting out, and how is it impacting my partner?

Related Episodes:

• Can I Be Me With You? Vulnerability in Relationships • The Relationship MOT: Holding Yourself Accountable • I Before We: Building a Relationship with Yourself First

Work With Us:

Interested in couples therapy or our PlayBook course for therapists?

For more relationship advice,

Follow us on:

🎙️ The Paradox of Change Podcast: https://theparadoxofchange.buzzsprout...

📲 Instagram:/theparadoxofchange

📺 Linktree: https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange

📢 If you've experienced infidelity or are working through trust issues, let us know your thoughts in the comments! ⬇️

https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange

💔 why did my boyfriend cheat?

💔 why did my girlfriend che

How to find us: https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange

We have an honest talk with with Poppy Tiltman, who's here to share her perspective on disability without the usual sugar-coating. In this candid episode, Poppy makes one thing clear from the start: she doesn't want to be your inspiration, and she's not here to make you feel good about yourself - thats your job!

Living with cerebral palsy and autism, Poppy cuts through the typical feel-good narratives that surround disability discussions. Instead, she offers her genuine experience - what it's actually like to navigate a world that often prefers comfortable stories to uncomfortable truths.

Hear Poppy's take on why "staying positive" isn't always the answer, her experiences with education systems that didn't quite work for her, and why finding real community matters more than collecting sympathy. She also shares her vision for "Access Granted," her new podcast designed to amplify authentic disabled voices rather than the polished versions that make everyone else comfortable.

This isn't Poppy trying to overcome anything or be inspirational - it's her being human, being honest, and asking for something better.

Poppy Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@accessgrantedwithpoppy

Chapter Markers
00:00 - Poppy's Truth: I Don't Want to Be Your Inspiration**
Poppy sets the tone by explaining why she rejects the inspiration label and what she actually wants from these conversations.
06:27 - Her Reality: What Disability Actually Looks Like**
Poppy shares her honest experience of living with disability, moving beyond the usual sanitised narratives.
12:18 - Access Granted: Poppy's Vision for Real Stories**
Poppy explains her new podcast and why she's committed to sharing authentic disabled experiences rather than inspiration content.
18:14 - Education Through Her Eyes: When Systems Don't Work**
Poppy reflects on her experiences navigating educational systems and the challenges she faced along the way.
25:50 - Finding Her Community: Beyond Well-Meaning Sympathy**
Poppy discusses the difference between genuine support and the often unhelpful responses disability attracts.
30:03 - Being Seen as Human: Beyond Her Conditions**
Poppy talks about wanting to be seen as a whole person rather than just her disabilities or as inspiration fodder.
35:14 - Her Vision: Real Change, Not Just Nice Stories**
Poppy shares her hopes for disability advocacy that prioritises truth and authenticity over comfort.

From her perspective, education systems often failed to properly include her, and society's general awkwardness around disability creates unnecessary barriers. She values genuine community over well-meaning but misguided sympathy, and wants her voice heard on platforms that prioritise authenticity over feel-good content.

Poppy wants to be seen as a complete person with her own agency, not reduced to her conditions or used as inspiration. Her approach to advocacy focuses on challenging systems and having uncomfortable but necessary conversations rather than just sharing uplifting stories that make everyone else feel better.

Filmed in Winchester, Southampton (Note our Southampton accent) in the UK!

Squrimey and Grubs AKa Shanye and Hannah.
The two do a fabulous job of explaining how an interableld relationship ( when one person in
the relationship is disabled and the other is not) can work out just like any other romantic
relationship. They show how the dynamics work when your wife is also your main caregiver.
They share funny, cute and occasionally embarrassing stories along with explaining how the
general public reacts when they find out that the two are in fact married.Their social media

How to find us: https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange

The secret to lasting love isn't about finding the perfect partner or mastering communication techniques. There's one fundamental question that predicts whether your relationship will thrive or fail: "Can I be me with you?" If you are searching for relationship repair or relationship advice, this might be the show for you.

In this deep-dive conversation, Elliot and Lottie explore the core elements that determine relationship success, from emotional safety and vulnerability to the crucial role of boundaries and self-awareness.

Key Takeaways:
• Why emotional safety is the foundation of all healthy relationships
• How childhood experiences shape your adult relationship patterns
• The difference between defensiveness and healthy boundaries
• Why "I like you" might be more powerful than "I love you"
• How to recognise when you're reacting from past trauma vs. present reality

Timestamps:
00:00 Understanding Triggers in Relationships
02:46 The Importance of Emotional Connection
05:28 Navigating Vulnerability and Safety
08:23 Identifying Negative Patterns and Accountability
11:10 The Role of Childhood in Adult Relationships
13:54 The Impact of Boundaries on Relationships
16:44 The Balance of Individuality and Togetherness
19:33 The Significance of Time and Friendship
22:11 The Power of 'Like' in Relationships
25:03 Recognizing Past Influences on Present Relationships
27:46 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Healing
30:28 The Dynamics of People-Pleasing and Assertiveness
33:24 The Complexity of Relationship Expectations
36:04 Summarizing Key Takeaways for Relationship Success
💡 Featured Concepts:
• The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (Gottman)
• Window of Tolerance (Babette Rothschild)
• I Before We Philosophy
• Family of Origin Work

Perfect for:
• Couples seeking deeper emotional connection
• Individuals preparing for healthy relationships
• Anyone struggling with boundaries and people-pleasing
• Those recognising patterns from childhood in their relationships

In this engaging storytime, we explore the power of effective communication. Learn practical communication skills and discover how to talk to people with confidence. Improve your english conversation and master how to start a conversation, making every interaction more meaningful.

Filmed in Winchester, Southampton in the UK!

Released on the day that we saw Protests in Southampton and if you like
Psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel, we might be the show for you...

Follow us on:
The Paradox of Change Podcast: https://theparadoxofchange.buzzsprout...
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparadoxofchange/
Linktree: https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange

If you've experienced infidelity or are working through trust issues, let us know your thoughts in the comments! ⬇️
https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange

💔 why did my boyfriend cheat on me?
💔 why did my girlfriend cheat on me?
💔 why did my partner cheat on me?
💔 why is partner not having sex with me?

How to find us: https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange

Former Royal Navy Lieutenant Commander Jamie Leaper shares his powerful journey from military service to becoming a therapist - and why being part of the 20% of male counsellors is changing how men engage with mental health.

In this honest conversation, Jamie discusses:
• The reality of military-to-civilian transition anxiety
• Why the "veteran" label can be harmful
• How injury recovery challenged his perspective on heroism
• Why men are finally engaging with therapy
• The importance of authentic, unapologetic therapeutic relationships

Jamie discuss’s the challenges of transitioning from military life to civilian life, the impact of personal injury on their identity, and the importance of empathy in therapeutic relationships, and also critiques the hero narrative often associated with recovery, emphasising that not every story is a heroic one and that many individuals struggle with their own unique challenges. Ultimately, they advocate for understanding and supporting those who may not fit the traditional hero mold.

Takeaways
Anxiety can be a crippling experience that affects daily life.
Transitioning from military to civilian life can be challenging and identity-shifting.
Counselling can be a powerful way to help others navigate their struggles.
Personal injury can lead to a reevaluation of one's identity and capabilities.
The hero narrative can create unrealistic expectations for recovery.
Empathy is crucial in building therapeutic relationships.
Not every recovery story is a heroic one; many are mundane yet significant.
Understanding one's own anxiety can enhance the ability to help others.
The importance of psychoeducation in therapy cannot be overstated.
It's essential to meet clients where they are, without judgment.

Chapters
00:00 Understanding Anxiety and Its Impact
05:53 The Veteran Identity and Its Misconceptions
11:55 Transitioning from Military to Counseling
17:52 The Role of Psychoeducation in Therapy
23:55 Navigating Male Perspectives in Counseling
30:11 The Relationship Between Anxiety and Neurodiversity
36:11 Building Trust Through Authenticity
39:59 Navigating Personal Challenges in Therapy
45:10 The Impact of Injury on Identity
51:27 Understanding Recovery and Individual Journeys
56:00 The Physiology of Anxiety and Coping Mechanisms
01:03:19 Challenging the Hero Narrative in Recovery

If you want to get in touch with Jamie, click the link to his website: If you want to get in touch with Jamie our guest today, click the link: https://www.calmercounselling.life/

Other recommendations, search for Super Fast Morning Anxiety Relief Routine! Dr. Mandell

Recent News Headlines
- Justin Bieber is currently in the spotlight (as of 4 days ago) for prioritizing his mental health while focusing on being present for his family, including wife Hailey and their son Jack.
- Luke Combs made news in March 2025 when he opened up about experiencing "one of the most intense anxiety flare-ups in years" due to his rare mental condition - purely obsessional OCD.
- Billie Eilish has been featured prominently in 2025 discussions about how fame led to depression and suicidal ideation.
Ongoing Mental Health Advocates

The search shows several celebrities who continue to be vocal about anxiety:
Long-term advocates include:
- Emma Stone - has spoken about panic attacks and anxiety since childhood
- Ryan Reynolds - describes lifelong struggles with anxiety
- Selena Gomez - continues to be open about anxiety and depression
- Adele - known for discussing stage fright and social anxiety
- Zayn Malik - has been vocal about social anxiety affecting his career

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🎙️ The Paradox of Change Podcast: https://theparado

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Is there a Crisis in Masculinity? Elliot and James Penny from Flex Your Feelings podcast, tackle one of today's most controversial topics head-on!

In this honest conversation, we explore:

- Why modern men feel lost and confused about their identity
- How social media algorithms are warping masculine role models
- The shocking truth about what schools are teaching boys about masculinity
- Why "toxic masculinity" is being confused with healthy masculine traits
- The missing positive male role models in today's society
- How to reclaim healthy masculinity without hatred or division

Key Topics Discussed:
The difference between masculinity and misogyny
Controlled aggression vs toxic behavior
Why men are afraid to be protective and assertive
The impact of educational bias on young boys
Finding balance between masculine and feminine energy
Building emotional intelligence while staying true to masculine nature

Timestamps:
00:00 - Is there really a masculinity crisis?
08:57 - How social media is destroying male identity
17:52 - What does healthy masculinity actually look like?
26:33 - The shocking truth about school curriculums
35:44 - Finding the balance between masculine and feminine
45:12 - Where are the positive male role models?

This isn't about promoting toxic behaviour or putting anyone down - it's about understanding how we can support men to be their best selves while respecting everyone in society.

About The Paradox of Change:
We're three qualified therapists (Elliot, Lottie, and Fi) making mental health insights accessible. Our mission is to help you understand yourself better and build healthier relationships.
Connect with us:

Full episodes on all podcast platforms
Follow @theparadoxofchange for more insights
Share your thoughts in the comments - we read every one

Guest: James Penny from Flex Your Feelings Podcast
#MasculinityCrisis #MensMentalHealth #HealthyMasculinity #ModernMasculinity #MaleIdentity #GenderRoles #SocialMediaImpact #MaleRoleModels #EmotionalIntelligence #MensWellbeing
Welcome to The Paradox of Change, where three experienced therapists guide you. We believe in understanding your needs, because the most important relationship you'll ever have is the one with yourself. Individual therapy and growth coaching focusing on mindset, money, and marketing can help with self confidence and personal development, and we are here to help you with relationship advice.

https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange

How to find us: https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange

Labiaplasty & Ozempic : Understanding the Surge in Popularity... Our resident therapist and coach, Fi, interviews Ceira Robinson, from London's prestigious Mayfair cosmetic surgery scene. Might Like this? https://youtu.be/pK6vVHyeWcs?si=hEY6cYBTGeo4VWd6

This eye-opening conversation reveals the alarming surge in cosmetic procedures, especially labiaplasty among young women, and exposes how social media pressures are driving dangerous beauty standards. The discussion also touches on emerging trends like Ozempic dietary injections and their intersection with body image issues.

Key Topics Covered:
• Labiaplasty surgery trends and consultation surges • NHS policies denying necessary aesthetic procedures • Body dysmorphia cycles in cosmetic surgery patients • Social media's toxic impact on women's body image • Risks of cosmetic surgery abroad vs. UK procedures • Ozempic and dietary injection trends affecting body standards • The emotional journey of cosmetic surgery recovery • Making informed choices about aesthetic procedures • Mental health implications of beauty standard pressures
Essential viewing for anyone considering cosmetic surgery, struggling with body dysmorphia, or concerned about the industry's impact on women's mental health and self-acceptance.

#CosmeticSurgery #Labiaplasty #BodyDysmorphia #MentalHealth #WomensHealth #SocialMediaImpact #BodyImage #NHS #AestheticProcedures #BeautyStandards #Ozempic #DietaryInjections #FiSclif #CeiraRobinson #TheParadoxOfChange"

Chapters
00:00
The Surge in Cosmetic Procedures
03:04
Kira's Journey into Aesthetics
06:12
Understanding Cosmetic Surgeries
08:57
The Impact of NHS Policies on Surgery Access
11:59
Labiaplasty: A Growing Trend
15:13
The Cycle of Body Dysmorphia
17:58
Social Media's Role in Body Image
20:56
Navigating Patient Insecurities
24:00
The Personal Side of Cosmetic Surgery
27:01
The Balance Between Surgery and Self-Acceptance
31:53
Understanding Surgical Procedures and Recovery
36:45
The Emotional Journey of Cosmetic Surgery
39:35
The Impact of Social Media on Body Image
41:19
The Risks of Cosmetic Surgery
51:20
Navigating the World of Cosmetic Surgery Abroad
58:43

How to find us: https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange