Ever write your gratitudes in the morning, then find yourself annoyed fifteen minutes later by the trail of crumbs across the kitchen?

Welcome to Part 2 of our four-part gratitude series. This week Lori takes on the part of gratitude nobody puts on a mug: what to do when you’re grateful and frustrated at the same time.

There’s a myth that keeps smart, capable women stuck: grateful women don’t complain. Lori isn’t buying it. You can love the life you built and still have real moments when it’s hard. Gratitude doesn’t ask you to ignore problems; it asks you to see them clearly.

Lori shares a story from one of her 14+ corporate reorgs. I’m sure you can imagine the mixture of emotions, you’ve probably lived through something very similar. She then teaches a simple five-minute practice, along with a filter for deciding what’s yours to act on and what you can set down.

When you can name what’s good and what’s hard, your team learns they can trust what you see. This is JOY in action, you leading with JOY.

1. Gratitude and frustration can live side by side. Saying “this is hard” is where problem-solving starts. Frustration you stuff down tends to come back out sideways.
2. Naming a feeling helps calm it. A 2007 UCLA study led by Matthew Lieberman found that putting feelings into words reduced activity in the amygdala, the brain’s alarm center.
3. Your hula hoop decides what’s yours. Pick one small next step for what’s inside it, and set the rest down for today.

• The Two-Column Practice
• Lieberman et al., UCLA (2007), on affect labeling and the amygdala
• The Hula Hoop Theory
• The bonus third column: what I have, what I lost, what I want
• Extreme Gratitude: 30 days of short daily audio from Lori plus a workbook. Day one is free when you join the waitlist, and doors open November 23rd.

1. Draw a line down the middle of a page.
2. Write five things you're grateful for on the left and five things still frustrating on the right (you can start with the frustrations).
3. Circle everything inside your hula hoop.
4. Pick one small action step for one circled item.

• Where have I been stuffing down frustration because I thought gratitude meant I wasn’t allowed to have it?
• What in my life am I grateful for and frustrated by at the same time?
• Which frustrations can I set down today because they aren’t mine to fix?
• How might holding both columns make me a more trusted leader?

• Accomplished women who feel guilty for being frustrated when “life is good”
• Leaders who are the load-bearing wall for their team or their family
• Anyone who finds most gratitude advice a little too “Pollyanna”

Extreme Gratitude is a 30-day audio and workbook experience, opening November 23rd. Join the waitlist and get day one free: https://www.loripine.com/extreme-gratitude-waitlist

• Connect with Lori on LinkedIn and Instagram @loripine
• Explore coaching, retreats, and more at loripine.com

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