I have always been big on telling the truth, being authentic and doing what is right when no one is looking. I have burned bridges, lied, hurt others and had to learn the hard way. Being kicked out four times, once for Diet Coke, the soda. and others I really don’t remember, was it extreme yes, was I perfect no. Walking on egg shells, being choked and pinned against the wall, being slapped, I wasn’t just sexually, mentally,

physically and verbally abused by someone I was related to. I did lie, but I chose to make amends, but anything would set this person off. Never having a relationship with this person, and they still ask why? It’s not because of the mistake I made, it was taking everything to extreme, being physical and never making amends just holding everything over my head, even til this very day you hold everything over my head. You tell everyone I wasn’t the black sheep, I was lying to get attention or

Not telling all the truth. Which I have, I knew the rules, I broke them, but at I least I can admit everything. You solved everything by being physical, you could never have understand why I was close my dad. I forgive you, but I will never have a relationship with you. I could never talk to you, with being scolded, or told walking on egg shells. Everything was about how perfect you were. I don’t really care what you say to others, because at least I can be honest with my story, the mistakes I did and what I did was wrong. You will always flip the story to play the victim and no accountability, that’s why I am big on accountability, telling the truth and being honest and authentic. You change things so it doesn’t look so bad. What matters to me, is telling everything how it was even if

It hurts. You can never amend a burned

bridge. I’m sharing every part,to help others. I’m over the anger, sadness and hurt. We shouldn’t be made to feel guilty for telling the truth. Telling everything, because it shows how we became. We have thrived and survived without you,

Which was held over our heads as well. We couldn’t live without you or survive. Everything we accomplish was because of you. We are given some tools to survive, while the other part we say how we didn’t want our life to be. What matters to me is my reputation, integrity because it’s hard to get respected or believed when you have hurt so many and burned so many bridges.

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I will always support the education system, but I have had my fair share of teachers who hated me, who didn't like me and wanted to see me fail or they would do illegal things that would cost them their license. I was never the perfect student, I made mistakes, hurt others and had to learn the hard way from many things I did. With many teachers taking the side of the bully, then playing the victim when the truth came out or acting nice because you got caught. It's not my problem that your true intentions were exposed, and don't think I forgot either. You are enough, don't let a grown adult tell you nothing will ever happen for you, that they try to fail you illegally and lie when they get caught. You are enough and you will be someone someday. All of us make mistakes and none of us are perfect, but many of us choose to learn from our mistakes instead of lying and hurting innocent people. Lying on your resume that you have the qualifications to be a professor at a technical college and also trying to pull illegal moves on several students, not just you. It's too late now to apologize now, you didn't destroy any of us, you went to jail because you committed a crime. That only the technical college had to apologize on your behalf but many schools you attended had to apologize. Even the unit the commander was part of, their own representative had to apologize for someone else's actions. Each profession will have some sour fruit, some will give dirty looks, talk bad about you. That's a them issue not an you issue, the choice is yours if you want to break and destroy everything or make it better.

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During 2024, I learned I had Fibromyalgia and CPS (Central Pain Syndrome), where my body no longer knows how to process pain. Dealing with two people who violated HIPPA, which both of them worked in the medical field before. Should know how to keep confidential information to themselves, but no they had to run their mouth. They had no permission to share this information because it was confidential, but you never gave a damn. You were proud to share it with the world. It boosted your ego and arrogance until it all fell down. Showing back up months later like I forgot, I don’t forget a damn thing. It’s not problem that the guilt is eating you alive. You gave me no choice but to give you the cold shoulder. You can’t handle what you did, not my problem. Then having an ex to show up six years later this year. Thinking like nothing happened, I will never forgive you. Don’t come back around like I forgot or that I will forgive you. Forgiving what you did, will make you think that you won. I only forgive myself for the hell I had to go through. I survived each trap or setup. I’m not stupid but clearly you think that. The reason I remain quiet and lurk in the shadows, is because I let you think I am clueless or don’t know what is going on. When I know exactly what is going on. I let you run your mouth and make a fool of yourself before I make my next move. While you playing checkers, I was playing chess. You thought you had me, put you were wrong.

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During 2024, I learned I had Fibromyalgia and CPS (Central Pain Syndrome), where my body no longer knows how to process pain. Dealing with two people who violated HIPPA, which both of them worked in the medical field before. Should know how to keep confidential information to themselves, but no they had to run their mouth. They had no permission to share this information because it was confidential, but you never gave a damn. You were proud to share it with the world. It boosted your ego and arrogance until it all fell down. Showing back up months later like I forgot, I don’t forget a damn thing. It’s not problem that the guilt is eating you alive. You gave me no choice but to give you the cold shoulder. You can’t handle what you did, not my problem. Then having an ex to show up six years later this year. Thinking like nothing happened, I will never forgive you. Don’t come back around like I forgot or that I will forgive you. Forgiving what you did, will make you think that you won. I only forgive myself for the hell I had to go through. I survived each trap or setup. I’m not stupid but clearly you think that. The reason I remain quiet and lurk in the shadows, is because I let you think I am clueless or don’t know what is going on. When I know exactly what is going on. I let you run your mouth and make a fool of yourself before I make my next move. While you playing checkers, I was playing chess. You thought you had me, put you were wrong.

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The consequences I get when I survived the worse nightmare of my life. Being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and CPS (Central Pain Syndrome), from being in survival mode. Being mentally, physically, emotionally and sexually abused two weeks before my thirteen birthday, By someone I wasn’t related to. I don’t blame my parents. Still the flashbacks and nightmares waking up in sweat or crying still haunts me. I won’t go any deeper because it still hurts. You think years later you would be healed, but it’s the opposite. You are learning to break bad habits and to unlearn the way you were while you were in survival mode. Being blamed for something that you didn’t cause, or told it never happened or you’re not telling the whole truth, you were never there so how would you know? You still don’t feel safe, but you don’t blame yourself anymore. God got you out of this dark moment. You and him have a long history, but you survive because of God. To face this is realizing you will never get over this just like when someone passes away. You learn to be okay, but it will come back in waves. You are in a better place and that’s all that matters.

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Being judged for my own health problems, people thinking I am making it up for attention or it’s not real. Listen to yourself, you are talking about things that you don’t even understand or know about. If you put yourself in other people's shoes maybe you will understand, but you are too arrogant to care. Wait until you have health problems and others treat you the way you treated me, then give you a view from my perspective. Being in pain, sick and dizzy all the time wasn’t what I chose. This was a battle given to me, I have no cure but at least I still show up to help others. I always put others before me, and I always go out of my way to help others and make sure their day is better. I don’t have to do that, but I love helping other people and just doing God’s work. I am not about the popularity or what comes back to me, I could care less. Every good deed that is done is out of helping others, you never know you have made their day. Nowadays everyone is about themselves or trying to tear everyone else down. It's a sad world we live in and we need to do better. Long story short, I could have given the ones who hurt me the same treatment, but I walked away. I gave them the cold shoulder as well. Two classy ways to be, without falling to the same level as them. This is why many people don’t like me or always have a problem with me, when they have a problem with themselves. I will never change or think I am better because I am not. I am thankful to be who I am and be where I am today. I am thankful for the support and that I get to do what I love. It was a tough fight, but it’s a fight I am glad I kept fighting.

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