In this episode of The Weight and the Wonder, Jason Herndon and Philicia Ross, discuss the Netflix documentary Should I Marry a Murderer? and the complicated story of Caroline—a doctor who became involved in a relationship with a man who confessed to participating in a fatal hit-and-run and cover-up.

But this conversation isn't really about true crime.

It's about attachment wounds, loneliness, emotional vulnerability, and the ways unresolved pain can shape our choices in relationships. Together, Jason and Philicia explore why intelligence doesn't make someone immune to unhealthy dynamics, how trauma can affect decision-making, and what happens when institutions misunderstand mental health struggles.

Together, we discuss:

• Why cognitive intelligence and emotional regulation are not the same thing
• The impact of previous abusive relationships on future decision-making
• The dangers of assuming successful people should "know better"
• How attachment crises can influence behavior and judgment
• The role of privilege in how victims are perceived and treated
• The devastating consequences of institutional failures and lack of trauma-informed care
• Love-induced mania, emotional dependence, and relationship dissonance
• The importance of accurate mirrors, healthy support systems, and community care
• Why unhealthy relationships aren't always abusive relationships
• The difference between being chosen and feeling whole

Media Referenced

• Should I Marry a Murderer? (Netflix)
• "Cranes in the Sky" — Solange
• Erika Badu's "Bag Lady"

Mental Health Resources
If this conversation brought up concerns about abuse, trauma, unhealthy relationships, or mental health struggles, please consider reaching out to a licensed mental health professional or a local crisis resource in your area.

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline https://988lifeline.org/
• BEAM https://beam.community/get-help-now/
• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (800-799-7233)

Connect With Us
Instagram: @weightandwonderpodcast
YouTube: @theweightandthewonder

Find Our Hosts
Philicia Ross: @byphilicia | villageofsoundmind.co | LinkedIn @ Philicia Ross, LCSW-C
Jason Herndon: LinkedIn @ Jason L. Herndon | somemen.substack.com

Wonder Club, thank you for continuing to grow this cozy corner of the internet with us. We appreciate every listen, every conversation, and every moment you spend reflecting alongside us. We'll see you next time.