This is a message given by a friend, Tim Coen, who spoke with me at a men's retreat in October of 2025. It's profound. It explains the questions, frustrations and doubts that we feel as we desire to offer the life and gifting that God has given us for others.

Here are a few of the talking points:

Every man has three circles…

• My circle of ABILITY - what God made me able to do. My gifts, passions, strength, and effort.
• My circle of CARE - what God has given me to care about and be responsible for.
• My circle of AWARENESS - everything I know something about.

Our circle of awareness doesn’t really affect us much, but the relationship between our circles of ABILITY and CARE deeply affects how we live…

• In adolescence, our circle of ABILITY is likely to be just as big or bigger than our circle of CARE, not because we have such amazing ability (even if we’re impressed with it), but because we mostly just care about ourselves. It feels like if we just try, we can achieve whatever we care most about.
• In young adulthood, and throughout our lives if we take God’s mission seriously, our circle of CARE quickly outgrows our circle of ABILITY. Our ability has grown, but there is just so much to care about. No longer can we easily achieve all that God has put in our heart to be responsible for. This is uncomfortable!

There are more free resources at TheNobleHeart.com

We should be intrigued with God, with our life (heart) and with others. When we are, we discover that God speaks and guides frequently.

The disciples were intrigued with Jesus asking questions like:

• What does the parable mean?
• Why could we not drive out the evil spirit?
• When will these things happen?
• Is it I, Lord?

Sometimes we are not intrigued about God, our life and others because we are afraid of what we might discover.

When we are not living intrigued we often react to things with the expression, “whatever”.

This message was given by Gary Barkalow at a men's retreat in October, 2025.

For further free resources go to TheNobleHeart.com

This is a message I gave on Father's Day to fathers, but it's relevant to everyone.

There are times when we sense an urgency to speak into our children's life no matter what their age...or anyone's life. The concern feels like a potential wildfire that could grow out of control, causing great damage.

When a wildfire is spotted, firefighters will do reconnaissance - they will get eyes-on to gather information about the fire and the surrounding environment to guide the response and ensure the safety of firefighters.

• Identifying the fire's origin and extent
• Assessing potential hazards
• Locating victims and determining rescue needs
• Informing a tactical plan

This is what we must first do to bring kindness and truth, wisdom and understanding to someone's heart.

My text was Proverbs 3:3-7, which is probably very familiar to you. I hope that perhaps you will think about it differently as I now do.

Gary Barkalow