This is a message given by a friend, Tim Coen, who spoke with me at a men's retreat in October of 2025. It's profound. It explains the questions, frustrations and doubts that we feel as we desire to offer the life and gifting that God has given us for others.

Here are a few of the talking points:

Every man has three circles…

• My circle of ABILITY - what God made me able to do. My gifts, passions, strength, and effort.
• My circle of CARE - what God has given me to care about and be responsible for.
• My circle of AWARENESS - everything I know something about.

Our circle of awareness doesn’t really affect us much, but the relationship between our circles of ABILITY and CARE deeply affects how we live…

• In adolescence, our circle of ABILITY is likely to be just as big or bigger than our circle of CARE, not because we have such amazing ability (even if we’re impressed with it), but because we mostly just care about ourselves. It feels like if we just try, we can achieve whatever we care most about.
• In young adulthood, and throughout our lives if we take God’s mission seriously, our circle of CARE quickly outgrows our circle of ABILITY. Our ability has grown, but there is just so much to care about. No longer can we easily achieve all that God has put in our heart to be responsible for. This is uncomfortable!

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