In this deeply personal episode of the NEXT Podcast, Jay reflects on the complex emotions that surround his five-and-a-half-year mark of grief. With raw honesty and spiritual depth, he explores what it means to live in the tension between sorrow and joy, faith and frustration, longing and resilience.

Jay shares how he's learning to move forward—not by erasing the pain, but by integrating it into his journey. Through what he calls the “Four Rs of Grief Work”—Relentless, Resilient, Repeatable, and Rigorous—Jay offers a framework that gives grief meaning and space to shape us without defining us.

This is an episode for anyone walking through grief, wondering if it’s okay to say, “I still hurt, but I still believe.”

In Episode 33 of the NEXT Podcast, Jay reflects on the 5.5-year mark since the passing of his beloved wife, Christine. What does grief feel like when the calendar keeps moving, but the ache remains? What happens when the expected emotions don’t arrive on cue—or when numbness sets in instead?

Through raw honesty, scriptural reflection, and deeply personal insight, Jay shares how grief continues to reshape his life—and how God is still doing something good in the middle of the sorrow. Because as Jay says:

“The heart doesn’t get better by avoiding pain… it gets better when we let God lead us through it.”

If you’ve ever wondered how to keep believing when you are still hurting, this episode is for you.

Calendar Grief: When the Numbers Don’t Add Up

In Episode 32 of the NEXT Podcast, host Jay Cookingham opens up about “calendar grief”—those dates on the calendar that carry deep emotional weight. Whether it’s an anniversary, a birthday, or a day of loss, these numbers don’t just track time… they hold stories, and sometimes, sorrow.

As Jay reflects on what would have been his 43rd wedding anniversary, he explores how grief messes with our math—and how God meets us in the moments that no longer add up. Through a powerful personal story, practical ways to navigate hard dates, and a reminder of our identity in Christ, this episode invites listeners to embrace their grief with honesty, purpose, and hope.

Because even when the dates hurt... God never misses a moment to draw near.