Important update from the Ministry, please take note! As of midnight tonight, Port, Shops, Dating and Arguments have all been declared officially glib. Please amend your records accordingly. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

We declare today, Gliberation Day! Yes, the Ministry is jubilant to report that this week: songs, confusion, daughters and offices are appallingly glib and you must amend your records immediately to reflect this. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

In these troubled times, worry not, the Ministry is here for you. This week you will be pleased to hear that Babies, Men, Theatre and Football have all been deemed completely glib. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Greetings and salutations from the Ministry. Please amend your records to note that, this week, auditions, movies and restaurants have been declared extremely glib. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

An important dispatch from the Ministry. Please note that this week charities, vicars, cookery and hotels have been declared particularly glib, please amend your records to reflect this. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

The Ministry has reopened and for our first message we would like it to be known we have declared Taxis, Inventions and Voiceovers to be officially glib this week. Thank you for your attention in this matter.

A very Glib Christmas from all of us at the Ministry. We hope that your festive season is filled with glib and glib-related tidings. We'll see you all again in the new year!

For our final regular dispatch of the year, the Ministry has declared most shops, restaurants, the concept of silence and the Bali Time Chamber to be glib.

We will be back to deliver the traditional Christmas message of glib to the nation, but until then thank you for your attention in this matter.