In this episode, I finally open up and share something deeply personal — my Ibogaine journey, from the moment the day began through the night that changed everything.

I take you with me into the nerves, the prayers, the intentions, and then into the ceremony itself — the capsules, the visions, the purging, the fear, the tenderness, and the moments of love, clarity, and deep healing that felt like they were guiding me home to myself.

There were parts that were intense.

There were parts that were beautiful.

And there were moments that felt like the truth I had been waiting my whole life to see.

This was the night everything shifted — in my body, my heart, my relationships, my healing, and the way I see my life.

Next week, I’ll share what comes after…

The Gray Day, and the rest of our time in Mexico — leading into my 5-MeO-DMT experience.

Thank you for being here with me — and for letting me share this part of my story with you. 🤍

There’s a moment right before something changes your life — not when it happens, but when you realize there’s no turning back.

In Episode 9 of The Medicine Spoke, I take you with me through the quiet, sacred threshold before Ibogaine — from leaving home, crossing the border into Tijuana, and arriving at Ambio Life Sciences, to the moments of surrender, safety, and inner stillness that came before the medicine ever touched my body.

This episode isn’t about Ibogaine itself.

It’s about the decision, the waiting, and the subtle ways healing begins long before the ceremony.

I share the details of travel, trust, medical intake, the power of intuition over logic, and the deep emotional preparation that unfolded — including a traditional temazcal ceremony that opened the door to inner child healing.

If you’re standing on the edge of something big — healing, change, or choosing yourself — this episode is for you.

In the next episode, the medicine speaks.

In this episode, I’m finally sharing the part of my ibogaine story that no one really talks about — the calling, the curiosity, the preparation, and the unraveling that happened long before I ever stepped foot in Mexico.

It all began in January 2025 with a Joe Rogan episode… and a moment that shifted everything for me and my husband.

Today, I walk you through:

✨ Why I said yes to ibogaine even when I didn’t think I needed healing

✨ How the medicine began calling me before I even understood it

✨ The emotional rollercoaster of preparing for treatment

✨ What happened when the center went silent and fear finally showed up

✨ Meeting my preparation coach and learning what ibogaine really does

✨ My raw and vulnerable burn list — everything I wanted to release

✨ The intentions I hoped to gain, and how they became questions for the medicine

✨ The altar I created, the meaning behind every item, and why it mattered

✨ The final week before we left: the Zoom calls, the packing, the nerves, the excitement

This episode lays the foundation for everything that comes next.

Next week, in Episode 9, I’ll take you with me to Mexico —

the house, the people, the emotions,

and the two days that softened me into the deepest healing of my life.

If you’ve ever felt the medicine calling you…

or you’ve been curious about the process before an ibogaine journey…

this episode will make you feel seen, supported, and less alone.

Let’s peel back the first layer together.

In this episode, I break down the truth about one of the most powerful plant medicines on the planet—something most people have never heard of, especially if you grew up in a small town like I did. This is the episode I wish someone had made for me before I ever stepped into this world.

Ibogaine is known for its impact on trauma, PTSD, anxiety, depression, addiction, and deep emotional healing. Whether you’re simply curious or exploring this medicine for your own life, this episode offers a grounded, honest introduction to what Ibogaine actually is and why people feel called to it.

Inside this episode, we explore:

• Iboga vs Ibogaine and how the medicine is really taken

• How Ibogaine works in the brain and nervous system

• Neuroplasticity, dopamine resetting, and nor-ibogaine

• Purging, ataxia, breathwork, and what the experience truly feels like

• Why precise dosing and medical screening are essential

• Preparation, integration, and choosing a safe treatment center

• Program lengths, detox considerations, and medical supervision

• Clinical trials happening in the U.S.

• The stigma, the misconceptions, and who Ibogaine is actually for

If you’ve ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, disconnected from yourself, or curious about deeper healing… this episode is for you.

This is the beginning of my Ibogaine story—

and the foundation you need before Episodes 8–10.

“This is the Thanksgiving story that broke me open… and the gratitude that rebuilt me.”

Episode 6 is a deeply personal conversation about grief, healing, and the complicated emotions the holidays often bring. Thanksgiving was the last day I spoke to my dad, and five years later, this season still carries both weight and beauty.

In this episode, I share the story of my dad’s final days, the way grief reshaped my life, and how unexpected gratitude emerged from the hardest season I’ve ever lived through. We explore the many forms of grief, coping tools for the holidays, how to honor loved ones, and the powerful connection that grew between my sisters and me after our dad passed.

Topics include:

• The paradox of grief and gratitude

• Surviving holidays after loss

• Emotional tools to navigate heavy seasons

• Signs from loved ones who’ve passed

• How to support someone who is grieving

• Reflection questions for deeper healing

• The legacy my dad left behind

This episode is for anyone carrying loss into the holiday season. You’re not alone — and your feelings are valid.

Reparenting yourself isn’t about blaming your childhood — it’s about finally giving yourself the safety, validation, and love you never received consistently.

In this episode, Ashton dives into her own inner-child work, the visions that came through during her Ibogaine journey, and the emotional patterns many of us carry into adulthood without even realizing it.

You’ll learn what reparenting looks like day-to-day, why it can feel uncomfortable in the beginning, and how breathwork, boundaries, compassion, and simple daily check-ins can help you reconnect with the version of you that’s still waiting to be heard.

In this episode, I open up about the hidden side of healing — the part no one prepares you for. The silence. The fear. The free fall that happens when you finally choose yourself after years of living for everyone else.

I share the deeper layers of my journey: becoming a mother at sixteen, losing myself in responsibility, finding my identity in nursing and leadership, and the moment Ibogaine broke everything open and showed me how to be alone with myself. I talk about stepping away from a career that no longer aligned, facing the quiet, releasing distraction, and learning to sit in stillness without fear.

I also share the role my husband played in supporting my healing, how I reclaimed my voice through this podcast, the spiritual messages from my morning rituals, and the tools that helped me find peace when the loneliness felt heavy.

If you’re in that uncomfortable space between who you were and who you’re becoming… this episode is for you. You’re not broken. You’re not behind. You’re not alone.

You’re coming home to yourself.

In this episode, I’m peeling back the wound so many of us carry but rarely name: the fear of judgment.

From shame projected onto me in the womb, to growing up in a small town, to being the “affair child,” to becoming a teen mom who was told she ruined her life, I share the moments that taught me to hide, shrink, and worry about what everyone thought of me.

I talk about how that fear followed me into motherhood, marriage, divorce, and even into my healing work today. I open up about the pressure to look perfect in a world ruled by social media, and how that pressure keeps us from speaking the truth our body has been begging us to feel.

This episode is an invitation to stop hiding. To speak out loud what you have been whispering to yourself. To pray, manifest, breathe, and trust that your healing begins the moment you decide to be seen.

Thank you for listening. I can’t wait to meet you back here next time so we can keep peeling back layers together.