This is part two of our two-part series on understanding divorce. We're getting really strategic in this episode with Lauren Fair—a divorce attorney with 16 years of experience AND a master certified life and divorce coach.

I recorded this interview because I think as a society, we are woefully under-educated on how divorce actually works. The actual nuts and bolts of the process.

Here's the thing: whether you're actually going through a divorce OR you're happily married and never want one, understanding how the process works is incredibly empowering.

Because we are socialized as women to not pay attention to the law part of things, the fine print that governs our lives and our marriages.

Understanding all the different structures for divorce, whether for your own education or to support a friend or family member will help you in ways we may not know today, but I am trusting that having this resource will be so important and I am so proud to share it with you.

In this episode I'm joined by the brilliant Lauren Fair as she puts her lawyer hat on and teaches us some simple law things about the different structures we can use and why to use them and why not to use them.

What makes her approach so aligned with my values is that she sees divorce not as a failure but sometimes being one of the most self-honoring choices a woman can make.

From my philosophy, even if you've decided to stay in your marriage, it's still super useful to understand what the heck is divorce and how it works.

Because everything you need in your marriage you will also need in your divorce—conflict resolution skills, emotional management, strategic communication.

It may be that understanding divorce will motivate you to try really hard one last time or it may open a door in your mind that tells you, it's okay to make this choice from an informed and grounded place.

So we're getting practical in this episode.

We talk about exit plans, the strategic advantage of working with a divorce coach (a relatively new discipline that is growing and helping everyone have better outcomes), and we also talk about safety—financial safety and emotional safety.

This conversation is your permission to get educated, get empowered, and make whatever choice serves your highest good.

If you haven't heard episode one in this series, we will link to that episode in the show notes so you can hear both of them together.

Here is the scoop on what's included -

✨ Episode at a Glance

• What an exit plan is and why knowing your options frees you from feeling trapped

• How everything you need in your marriage you will also need in your divorce

• Why your first call should be to a divorce coach (not an attorney)

• The different divorce options: mediation, collaborative divorce, litigation, and "kitchen table" divorce

• Why mediation gives you the most control over your outcome

• When mediation isn't appropriate and what to consider instead

• How grief shows up in divorce (even when you're the one who wanted it)

• Why the way your partner showed up in the marriage is likely how they'll show up in the divorce

• The importance of building your village: divorce coach, attorney, financial planner, therapist

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• The Questions for Couples Journal

• Private Coaching with Maggie

• Free Workshop: The Growth Gap

• Marriage Mindset Makeover

• Episode 179: Navigating Stress Cycles

• Episode 76: Trauma, Resourcing & Windows of Tolerance with Shelby Leigh

• Follow Lauren @sensiblesplitdivorce

• Visit Lauren's website: https://faircadora.com/sensiblesplit/

• Listen to her podcast: The Sensible Split

I have a very special two-part series starting with this episode. We're doing a deep dive on how to prepare and how to think about divorce.

And I think as a society, we are woefully under-educated on how divorce actually works.

Here's the thing: as a marriage coach, one of the things that can strengthen your relationship the most is understanding the nuances of ending it. When we understand what it takes to stay AND what it takes to leave, it helps empower us for any choice we make.

In this episode I'm joined by Lauren Fair—a divorce attorney with 16 years of experience AND a master certified divorce coach.

What makes her approach so aligned with my values is that she sees divorce not as a failure but sometimes being one of the most self-honoring choices a woman can make.

Choosing to end a relationship can be a healthy, powerful growth experience, and the collective cultural narrative we have that still shames divorce in a variety of ways is something I hope these 2 episodes contribute to changing.

This conversation is your permission to get educated, get empowered, and make whatever choice serves your highest good.

We also start with a segment on how to support a friend going through a divorce which I think is so important as well so no matter where you are in your relationship journey right now, I think you will find something useful in this 2 part series.

Here is the scoop on what's included -

✨ Episode at a Glance

• How to be a supportive friend when someone you love is going through divorce

• Why understanding divorce options empowers you whether you're staying or leaving

• The three common mistakes women make when hiring an attorney from an emotionally activated place

• Why you want strategic, not "shark," legal representation

• How to manage your attorney (yes, you need to manage them)

• The difference between full scope representation and other options

• Why the moment you deliver the news matters more than you think

• How the divorce conversation begins determines the entire trajectory of the divorce

• Why you should never use the word "divorce" until your bags are packed

• The importance of slowing down when everything feels urgent
  
  

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• The Questions for Couples Journal

• Private Coaching with Maggie

• Free Workshop: The Growth Gap

• Marriage Mindset Makeover

• Episode 38: Soul Centered Communication

• Follow Lauren @sensiblesplitdivorce

• Visit Lauren's website: https://faircadora.com/sensiblesplit/

Listen to her podcast: The Sensible Split

I recently sat down with Emily Reuschel on her Wild and Waking podcast to talk about something I call the growth gap. What happens when one partner outpaces the other in personal development work?

It was such a great conversation that I wanted to share it here with you too, because this is such a common pattern I see with my clients. Here's the thing: you've been reading all the books, listening to podcasts just like this one, doing all the inner work - because of course you have, and maybe your partner chooses to evolve differently than you.

And that gap, that difference in growth pace and in growth focus, can feel incredibly isolating and frustrating. But what if I told you that the growth gap isn't the actual problem? What if the real issue is what you're doing with that gap?

Emily and I dive deep into why personal growth can actually create more tension in your relationship at first, and then what to do about it. The counterintuitive truth about why your partner's lack of interest in therapy or coaching or a workshop might not be the deal breaker that you think it is. How to stop turning your relationship into a project you're trying to fix. The power of leading from your side of the street without carrying the whole emotional load.

This is one of those episodes where you really want to grab your journal and maybe listen to it once and then go back and take notes because we're going to be practical, we're going to be strategic, and of course we're going to be soulful and have fun all at the same time.

✨ Episode at a Glance

• What the growth gap is and why it happens when one partner evolves and the other resists change

• The "Power of One" framework and how one person's transformation can shift the entire relationship

• Why the mindset of "I go first" changes everything

• The difference between your partner being scared vs. thinking growth is dumb (and why it matters)

• How to communicate your insights without triggering defensiveness

• Why asking for consent before sharing what you learned is essential

• The concept of do-overs and how one client's family transformed it into "rewinds"

• How men and women process differently (and why understanding this helps)

• When to adjust your expectations vs. when it's time to call it

• Why quality matters more than length in relationships
  
  

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• The Questions for Couples Journal

• Private Coaching with Maggie

• Free Workshop: The Growth Gap

• Marriage Mindset Makeover

• Emily Reuschel's website

• Listen to Ep 172 on Wild & Waking with Emily Reuschel and Maggie

• Follow Emily in Instagram @emilyreuschel

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Laura Jurgens to talk about something I have very strong feelings about: polarity. If you've been out in the internet wilderness hearing about masculine-feminine energy and how you need to lean into it to create spark in your marriage, and you're getting a weird vibe about it—you're not alone.

A couple years ago, my husband and I took a virtual retreat on this exact topic with a well-renowned teacher. And I had the most visceral experience of probably disgust I've ever had in a teaching setting. The class promoted things like agency and consent in the description, but the structure was the opposite—repressive, oppressive, and the exact opposite of choice.

Ever since then, I've been a hard no on teaching polarity in my programs. But then I found Laura's podcast episode on this topic and it was like finding a Coca-Cola in the desert. She brings the nuance, the research, and the practical wisdom about when polarity can work without causing harm—and when it's just patriarchy disguised as spirituality.

We talk about the mix of deep and fun that I love, and we're going to tell you exactly when this approach can be helpful and when it becomes harmful.

Episode at a Glance

• What polarity actually is (and why it's everywhere right now)

• Why the masculine-feminine framework often reinforces harmful gender stereotypes

• How polarity can damage women's agency and men's emotional vulnerability

• The five criteria for when polarity can work without causing harm

• Why high-achieving women often fantasize about being dominated (and what that actually means)

• The difference between healthy dom/sub dynamics and repackaged patriarchy
  
  

Resources Mentioned In This Episode:

• The Questions for Couples Journal

• Private Coaching with Maggie

• Growth Gap Workshop (FREE)

• The Desire Gap Podcast with Laura Juergens

• Visit Laura's website: https://laurajurgens.com/

• Laura's Instagram: @laura.juergens.coach

• Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski

In this greatest hits episode of The Marriage Life Coach Podcast, I'm resharing one of my most important episodes for the long-term health of your marriage: teams versus alliances.

This framework explains why some marriages thrive for decades while others dissolve—and gives you specific tools to strengthen yours starting today.

Here's what made this especially timely: Oprah recently did a whole podcast episode on gray divorce (which has tripled for people 65+ since 1990). I've been talking about this phenomenon since 2016, and honestly? It made me do a little happy dance to see this conversation going mainstream. Because the more you understand what's driving gray divorce, the more you can prevent it in your own future.

In this episode, I share updated research on gray divorce, then dive into the original framework about what separates marriages that stay strong from those that quietly drift apart.

You'll discover:

• The exact difference between a team and an alliance (you'll immediately know which one you are)

• Why teams create happiness and resilience while alliances eventually run out of reasons to stay together

• Three mindset shifts to build more team spirit in your marriage

Ready to make your marriage not just functional, but five-star? Let's dive in.

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• The Questions for Couples Journal

• Private Coaching with Maggie

• Growth Gap Workshop (FREE)

• Marriage Mindset Makeover

• Episode #1: How to Have a Better Marriage

• Bowling Green State University research on gray divorce

• Institute for Family Studies research

In this episode, I sit down with Ali Ryan, a trauma-informed embodiment coach and clinical nurse hypnotist, to talk about something we don't discuss enough: friend breakups.

I just went through one myself, and even as a relationship coach, I needed support and guidance, so I was up at 1 am googling, what are the steps in Conscious Uncoupling? And they were SO HELPFUL!

I share some of my process in my conversation with Ali and was so delighted to hear her insights!

On this episode, we explore conscious uncoupling (not just for romantic relationships!), how to have what I call a "loving ending" that honors the past while acknowledging when something needs to end, and why we don't have to make someone right or wrong when a relationship evolves.

This conversation is for anyone navigating the end of a friendship and wanting to do it with grace, integrity, and love.

✨ Episode at a Glance

• What conscious uncoupling really means beyond the buzzword

• Why we need to normalize talking about friend breakups

• The five steps of conscious uncoupling and how they apply to friendships

• How to stay out of survival brain when a relationship needs to end

• Why our society conditions us to be unconscious in both coupling and uncoupling

• The power of allowing relationships to evolve without making anyone wrong
  
  

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• The Questions for Couples Journal

• Private Coaching with Maggie

• The Growth Gap - Free Workshop

• Ali's Instagram: @ali_ryan__

• Ali's Website: www.aliryancoaching.com

• Katherine Woodward Thomas (creator of Conscious Uncoupling framework)

In this milestone 200th episode, I sit down with licensed therapist and sex educator Tia Conway to talk about why pleasure actually matters, especially for those of us who've spent our whole lives prioritizing productivity over feeling good.

Tia shares her definition of pleasure, why it's not selfish or indulgent, and how giving yourself permission to enjoy your life transforms everything. We talk about the difference between aesthetic pleasure and embodied pleasure, why we resist good feelings, and how to create more joy without waiting for the perfect moment.

✨ Episode at a Glance

• Why pleasure isn't hedonism or laziness—it's essential for operating effectively

• The difference between aesthetic pleasure (looking good) and embodied pleasure (feeling good)

• How to bring pleasure to mundane tasks (yes, even grocery shopping)

• Why high-achievers resist pleasure and how to reclaim permission

• The connection between pleasure and reducing relational conflict

• Practical ways to increase pleasure capacity in your marriage

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Tia's Podcast: Pleasure and Peace Practice

• Connect with Tia on Instagram @pleasureandpeacewithtia

• Anonymous Question Box for Tia

• The Questions for Couples Journal

• Growth Gap Workshop (Free)

• Marriage Mindset Makeover

• Private Coaching with Maggie

This week's episode of The Marriage Life Coach Podcast is something special. I'm joined by my emotional support Canadian (yes, really!) and fellow coach Crystal Thompson, and we're diving into a book that touched both our hearts: Ordinary Mysticism: Your Life as Sacred Ground by Mirabai Starr.

If you've ever wanted to feel more connected—spiritually, emotionally, relationally—but didn't quite know how, this conversation is for you. We talk about finding sacredness in everyday life, receiving love when it feels hard, and why awe and gratitude can change everything, especially in long-term relationships.

There's laughter. There's depth. There's even a moment that made me cry on the mic.

✨ Episode at a Glance

• Why the word mysticism can feel scary—and how to reclaim it

• What sacred ground actually looks like in everyday life

• How awe + gratitude fuel connection (and soften resentment)

• The neuroscience of wonder, and why it matters in marriage

• What Mirabai Starr, Richard Rohr, and Mary of Guadalupe have in common

• The real-life moment I almost deflected a miracle

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Ordinary Mysticism by Mirabai Starr

• Connect with Crystal on Instagram @crystalruthcoaching

• The Questions for Couples Journal

• Private Coaching with Maggie