Ever write your gratitudes in the morning, then find yourself annoyed fifteen minutes later by the trail of crumbs across the kitchen?

Welcome to Part 2 of our four-part gratitude series. This week Lori takes on the part of gratitude nobody puts on a mug: what to do when you’re grateful and frustrated at the same time.

There’s a myth that keeps smart, capable women stuck: grateful women don’t complain. Lori isn’t buying it. You can love the life you built and still have real moments when it’s hard. Gratitude doesn’t ask you to ignore problems; it asks you to see them clearly.

Lori shares a story from one of her 14+ corporate reorgs. I’m sure you can imagine the mixture of emotions, you’ve probably lived through something very similar. She then teaches a simple five-minute practice, along with a filter for deciding what’s yours to act on and what you can set down.

When you can name what’s good and what’s hard, your team learns they can trust what you see. This is JOY in action, you leading with JOY.

1. Gratitude and frustration can live side by side. Saying “this is hard” is where problem-solving starts. Frustration you stuff down tends to come back out sideways.
2. Naming a feeling helps calm it. A 2007 UCLA study led by Matthew Lieberman found that putting feelings into words reduced activity in the amygdala, the brain’s alarm center.
3. Your hula hoop decides what’s yours. Pick one small next step for what’s inside it, and set the rest down for today.

• The Two-Column Practice
• Lieberman et al., UCLA (2007), on affect labeling and the amygdala
• The Hula Hoop Theory
• The bonus third column: what I have, what I lost, what I want
• Extreme Gratitude: 30 days of short daily audio from Lori plus a workbook. Day one is free when you join the waitlist, and doors open November 23rd.

1. Draw a line down the middle of a page.
2. Write five things you're grateful for on the left and five things still frustrating on the right (you can start with the frustrations).
3. Circle everything inside your hula hoop.
4. Pick one small action step for one circled item.

• Where have I been stuffing down frustration because I thought gratitude meant I wasn’t allowed to have it?
• What in my life am I grateful for and frustrated by at the same time?
• Which frustrations can I set down today because they aren’t mine to fix?
• How might holding both columns make me a more trusted leader?

• Accomplished women who feel guilty for being frustrated when “life is good”
• Leaders who are the load-bearing wall for their team or their family
• Anyone who finds most gratitude advice a little too “Pollyanna”

Extreme Gratitude is a 30-day audio and workbook experience, opening November 23rd. Join the waitlist and get day one free: https://www.loripine.com/extreme-gratitude-waitlist

• Connect with Lori on LinkedIn and Instagram @loripine
• Explore coaching, retreats, and more at loripine.com

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You would never walk into a big board meeting without a plan. You’d know the room, and you’d know the hard questions before anyone asked them. So why do so many of us walk into a hard week with our heads down, bracing for impact?

This week I’m sharing a week of my own that I could see coming from a mile away. My boys’ birthdays are only three days apart, and this year neither of them is home. Add Halloween, my least favorite holiday, and the clocks falling back, and I knew I was in for a doozy.

An old version of me would have plowed right through it. In this episode, I talk about what I did differently this time, how my Hula Hoop Theory helped me focus on what I could actually control, and how I planned my week so that joy had a place in every day.

If you can feel a hard week coming, this one is for you.

1. Name the hard parts before they catch you off guard.

You’d prepare for an important meeting, so prepare for a hard week too. When you name what’s coming, it loses some of its power to surprise you.

2. Focus on what’s inside your Hula Hoop.

You can’t control the calendar or the weather. You can control how you plan your days and how you take care of yourself. That’s where your energy belongs.

3. Don’t wait for joy to find you.

Joy doesn’t mean pretending the hard parts aren’t hard. Both can live in the same week. Look at your calendar, find the people and moments that fill you up, and make room for them on purpose.

• The Hula Hoop Theory: Lori’s reminder to put your energy into what’s within your control.
• Inner Work: Lori reflects on her 20-year journey of personal growth and how working on the inside has changed the way she experiences life.
• Planning Joy on Purpose: Lori walks through her own week, day by day.
• Daily Anchors: the meditation, journaling, and gratitude practice that keep Lori grounded.
• Giving Yourself Grace: why lowering the bar and letting things go can make a hard week lighter.

• What’s on your calendar in the next week or two that already feels heavy?
• What would change if you named those feelings instead of pushing through them?
• What’s inside your Hula Hoop right now, and where are you spending energy on things you can’t control?
• Who or what is already on your calendar that could bring you joy?
• Where could you lower the bar this week?

• Corporate women who are used to pushing through hard weeks without checking in with themselves.
• Leaders who want to manage their energy more intentionally when the calendar gets heavy.
• Women whose kids are growing up and whose family traditions are changing.
• Anyone who has ever looked at her calendar on Sunday night and thought, oh boy.

Follow Lori on LinkedIn or Instagram at @loripine to continue the conversation.

Visit Lori Pine's website to learn more about Lori's coaching, retreats, and ways to work together.

🎧 Subscribe to The Joy CEO Podcast for more conversations about leadership, personal growth, and creating a life that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.

⭐️ Leave a five-star review to help other heart-centered leaders find the show.

📲 Share this episode with a friend who could use a reminder that she doesn't have to push through everything alone.