S5E06 – The Anxious & Avoidant Cycle

with guest Malisa Hepner, therapist, author, and host of “Emotionally Unavailable”

Why do anxious and avoidant partners seem irresistibly drawn to each other—yet often end up in cycles of push, pull, and misunderstanding?

In this episode of the Empower Create Encourage Podcast, I sit down with Malisa Hepner to unpack the magnetic (and sometimes messy) connection between these two attachment styles.

After we explore:

• The simple truth about what drives anxious and avoidant attraction
• The recurring patterns in decision-making, problem-solving, and conflict
• How emotional safety can be cultivated for both partners
• Common intimacy and bedroom dynamics in anxious/avoidant relationships
• The impact of dissociation and “performative desire” on connection
• How avoidance of pain affects emotional intimacy
• Grounding and regulation techniques for individuals and couples
• One small but powerful step couples can take toward secure love—even if they’ve never experienced it before

If you’ve ever felt stuck in this loop—or love someone who has—this conversation will help you see the cycle clearly and give you tools to change it.

🎧 Tune in and remember: You are empowered to create the love, life, and reality you desire.

Connect with Malisa Hepner, on her instagram | @malisa.hepner

Connect with Alessandra Charlesworth | https://linktr.ee/empower.create.encourage

At Authentic Transformation, we help individuals and organizations overcome emotional, mental, and operational barriers using a powerful blend of inner child healing, neuroscience, quantum physics, and spirituality.

We support:

• Individuals by identifying and reprogramming trauma-rooted patterns that block confidence, clarity, and self-leadership.
• Organizations by removing operational obstacles, aligning systems with purpose, and optimizing teams for sustainable growth and lasting impact.

If you're a growth-minded leader ready to remove what's holding you back—personally or organizationally—we'd love to support you.

Learn more | https://authentictransformation.ca/

Are you living your own life—or the one you inherited?

In this episode of Empower Create Encourage, I sit down with Simon Luthi, author of Becoming the Rocket Shaman, to explore how cultural conditioning, family patterns, and unconscious stories shape who we think we are.

We talk about:

• The subtle signs you might be living an inherited identity
• How to recognize and release the roles you never chose
• Simon’s “Once Upon a Time” method for uncovering unconscious stories
• Why “Is this mine?” is the question that can realign your life
• The first steps to rewriting your story as a sacred act

Connect with Simon Luthi, on his website | www.therocketshaman.com

Connect with Alessandra Charlesworth | https://linktr.ee/empower.create.encourage

At Authentic Transformation, we help individuals and organizations overcome emotional, mental, and operational barriers using a powerful blend of inner child healing, neuroscience, quantum physics, and spirituality.

We support:

• Individuals by identifying and reprogramming trauma-rooted patterns that block confidence, clarity, and self-leadership.
• Organizations by removing operational obstacles, aligning systems with purpose, and optimizing teams for sustainable growth and lasting impact.

If you're a growth-minded leader ready to remove what's holding you back—personally or organizationally—we'd love to support you.

Learn more | https://authentictransformation.ca/

I sit down with Heidi Blackie, former healthcare professional, trauma-informed coach, and founder of UnshakableMe, to talk about the hidden cost of people-pleasing and the self-sabotage “grenades” we carry without even realizing it.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why people-pleasing is not kindness—and how to tell the difference
• What “self-sabotage grenades” are and how to spot them in your life
• How trauma and nervous system dysregulation fuel burnout cycles
• The difference between setting a boundary and building a wall
• What Micro-Boldness is—and how small truth-telling moments change everything

Heidi’s 3 Tools to Start Reclaiming Your Power:

1. Label your patterns without judgment – Awareness interrupts autopilot
2. One daily act of self-compassion – Small shifts rewrite big stories
3. Practice Micro-Boldness – Speak, rest, or ask for what you need

Connect with Heidi Blackie on her website | https://www.unshakableme.com

Connect with Alessandra Charlesworth | https://linktr.ee/empower.create.encourage

At Authentic Transformation, we help individuals and organizations overcome emotional, mental, and operational barriers using a powerful blend of inner child healing, neuroscience, quantum physics, and spirituality.

We support:

• Individuals by identifying and reprogramming trauma-rooted patterns that block confidence, clarity, and self-leadership.
• Organizations by removing operational obstacles, aligning systems with purpose, and optimizing teams for sustainable growth and lasting impact.

If you're a growth-minded leader ready to remove what's holding you back—personally or organizationally—we'd love to support you.

Learn more | https://authentictransformation.ca/